"The second option is for my sister to be kidnapped."

My eyes shot wide. Kidnap his sister? He couldn't honestly want to attack Adaira to solve his own troubles and...no! Not even Mr Ambrose could be that despicable, could he? I opened my mouth to lay into him—until, a moment later, I closed it again as I realised what he was really up to.

Oh my.

The gloves had come off.

"You mean..."

He met my questioning gaze with a virtuous one of his own that had probably fooled hundreds of savvy businessmen during negotiations worth billions of pounds. "Some nefarious individuals will conveniently break into my sister's bedroom and snatch her away in the middle of the night. Of course, as her loving brother, I will be appropriately devastated. Heartbroken, even."

One corner of my mouth twitched. "I'm sure."

"Most likely," he continued with a poker face that would make the god of gambling cry in envy, "at some point, my dear father will receive a ransom note. Of course, at that point, I will find myself in some financial difficulties and will be unable to help him. Poor Adaira will have to languish in captivity for quite some time, at the very least till she reaches her majority and can make decisions for herself. Such a shame, don't you think?"

"Such a shame indeed." My lips twitched again. "And where do you think she will be languishing in captivity? At some holiday resort in the Caribbean?"

"Possibly. You never know what fiendish plans are hatched in the twisted minds of criminals."

Darn, that poker face was incredible.

And so, coincidentally, was he.

Sliding both arms around him, I pulled my husband into a big family hug, Berty right between us. "You are a truly good man, do you know that? In a totally evil way."

He gave me a look that was appropriately icy to demonstrate that he was completely unmoved by the emotional moment. "I'm afraid I have no idea what you are talking about, Mrs Ambrose."

"Of course you don't."

"But, speaking of good men..." Raising an arm, Mr Ambrose snapped his fingers.

A humongous figure emerged out of the shadows in the corner of the room—shadows that should have been far too small to hide him. "Yes, Sahib?"

"Make preparations for plan 'Extended Holiday'. Once we can set things in motion, notify me."

"Yes, Sahib."

"You have two days."

"Then I shall leave immediately, Sahib. If I may be excused?"

Mr Ambrose gave a nod. That was all Karim required. In a blink, he was out of the room and striding down the corridor outside, the sound of his footsteps receding into the distance. I waited till we were alone in the silence of the night and then slowly turned to look up at the towering form of Mr Rikkard Ambrose.

"Mr Ambrose, Sir?"

"Yes, Mrs Ambrose?"

"I think you deserve a reward."

"Indeed?"

Placing Berty in his crib, I pulled a screen in front of it that was decorated with pretty flowers, clouds, and other age-appropriate things, which were much better for him to look at than the things his daddy and I would be doing soon. "Oh yes indeed, Sir."

Prowling towards him with swaying hips, I grabbed him by the bow-tie. "Now...why don't you open a few buttons? You look far too tense. You should relax."

"This is how I always look, Mrs Ambrose."

"Exactly."

A muscle in his cheek twitched. "Your way of seducing your husband is to insult me?"

Reaching up, I tickled his sculpted chin. "It's working, isn't it?"

With a growl, he grabbed hold of me and dragged me towards the bed. "Come here, you!"

"Waa waah?"

"Don't mind us, Berty! Mummy and Daddy are just going to stress-test the furniture. For safety reasons, you kno—mmmph!"

My words were abruptly cut off by Mr Ambrose's lips. Moments later, the bed started squeaking. Suffice it to say, that night, we stress-tested the furniture quite thoroughly.

***

Coming to a stop at the end of the corridor, I looked up at the door, reached for the door knob—then hesitated for a moment. I had taken rather long to come here. Due to stress-testing the furniture, I had been rather...ehem, 'busy' with Mr Rikkard Ambrose for a while. Would my friends feel like I had abandoned them?

Of course not, Lilly! Don't be overdramatic. They're your friends, right?

Right. I really was being overdramatic. Everything was going to be fine.

Taking a big breath, I grabbed hold of the doorknob and pushed open the door to the library—or at least I thought so. Judging by the several dead bodies on the floor, maybe I'd ended up in the local morgue instead?

"Ugh..." a deathly groan rose from the floor.

Ah, they weren't dead! Just nearly.

Tip-toeing over, I bent down beside one of the semi-corpses, half-buried under a pile of books. "So...how is the research going?"

Lifting the book from her face, Eve sent me a (quite possibly literal) death-glare. "I hate you."

"Aww. I love you, too."

"I've got a question," Amy's voice came from behind a dauntingly massive pile of books. "Why can't I just suck dat bastard off in exchange for a promise dat 'e won't bother Adaira no more?"

"Well..." I considered that question for a moment, wondering what would be a polite way to reply—and finally decided there wasn't one. "Um, are you sure that would work?"

"Well, if it doesn't, I could always bite 'is dick off."

That made me pause for a moment.

"As tempting as that sounds, I think it would cause more problems than it would solve. I don't really want to see you in prison for...whatever is the legal term for dick-biting." Moving over to Ella, who was the only one still reading frantically, I placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "So...found anything yet?"

Ella looked up with dark circles under her eyes. Too exhausted to speak, she simply shook her head.

For a moment, I closed my eyes. "I see." Opening my eyes again, I reached out and patted her shoulder. "Don't worry. You did your best."

"And I'm going to continue!" Ella clenched her slender fist. "Adaira isn't just your friend! She's mine, too! I won't let this happen to her!"

I gave her shoulder another pat. "You're the best, Ella. Don't overwork yourself, though. I'm grateful you're doing your best, but you're also important. Trust me, Adaira will be fine."

Amy's head appeared from behind a shelf with a suspicious look on her face. "Is it just me or don't ye seem very worried about 'er anymore all of a sudden?"

"Oh, well..." A devious little smile spread over my face. "Let's just say...I have my reasons."

***

Stars sparkled in the night sky. An owl hooted in the distance. A mouse squeaked as it desperately tried to escape from another owl, who was feeling peckish.

Suddenly, two dark figures emerged from behind the towering, shadowy form of Battlewood Manor. Like thieves in the night, they snuck along the manor's wall, towards their goal, until—

"Ow!"

"Silence!"

"That would be easier if your bones weren't so darn hard! Or if you had brought along something to light the way so we don't run into each other every other step!"

"We are supposed to be stealthy, Mrs Ambrose. How would you propose we do that while lighting a bonfire?"

"By...doing it inconspicuously?"

In answer, I received only silence. A very meaningful silence.

Damn Rikkard Ambrose and his ability to give comebacks without opening his mouth!

"Here." I nearly jumped out of my skin as I felt something touch my fingers—only to realise a moment later that it was my husband's hand, taking hold of mine. Instinctively, I tightened my grip on him. "I will lead the way."

And, instinctively, I followed without hesitation.

Having someone to rely on was really something, wasn't it? Too bad dear Adaira didn't have anyone to protect her from the evil kidnappers lurking in the shadows. The poor, hapless girl was going to be snatched away by wicked villains in the middle of the night. Mwhahahaha...!

Take that, dear sister-in-law! That's my revenge for trying to get me into a reverse harem!

Ehem...all right, maybe I was having a little too much fun with this kidnapping. Although—was there really such a thing as too much fun?

Nah.

So, with that in mind...

Out of the darkness ahead, two figures slowly emerged, their drab, grey clothes clearly identifying them as employees of Mr Rikkard Ambrose. The moment they were entirely visible, I strode towards them and surveyed them with a haughty stare.

"So...you are my minions for tonight?"

"Huh?"

"Not bad, I suppose. You could use some scars, knives and knuckle-dusters, but, on the whole, you'll do. So, let's do some evil deeds! Do you have the carriage? The horses? The rope, the gag and the blindfold?"

One of the men saluted. "Um...yes, Ma'am!"

"Mrs Ambrose?" a chilly voice came from right behind me. "What did you instruct my men to do behind my back? Why would we need ropes and blindfolds for a fake kidnapping?"

Completely ignoring him, I rubbed my hands and uttered an appropriately villainous cackle. My revenge was almost in sight! "Excellent work, my minions. Mwhahahaha! Mwahahaha!"

"Mrs Ambrose?" The voice from behind me became even chillier. "Are you feeling quite all right? If you are feeling ill, physically or mentally, I would be amenable to escorting you back to the house."

"What? No, no, I'm perfectly fine," I waved him off. It was so nice of him to be concerned, but we had more important things to do right now. We had villainy to accomplish! "Let's get to it, shall we? Crime waits for no man."

"That's time, Mrs Ambrose. Time waits for no man."

"Potato potahto. Let's get moving."

It wasn't long before the four of us arrived under Adaira's window in the darkness of the night. The rope—which, Mr Rikkard Ambrose unfortunately insisted, was only to be used for climbing purposes and not for tying up his sister—was stashed behind a bush. The blindfold and gag were sadly disposed of by my heartless husband. He just didn't want to get into the spirit of villainy, did he?

Although...for some reason, I saw him slip the gag and blindfold into his pocket, as if he might need them later. And was it just my imagination, or was he giving me a rather intense look?

"Mr Ambrose? What are you thinking?"

Mr Ambrose cleared his throat. "Ehem...nothing. I was just wondering whether we shouldn't have informed Adaira of this beforehand? Having her waste her time fretting about a forced marriage when we already have a plan in place to save her will be of no use to anyone."

I scratched my chin. "That's true, but...is Adaira a good enough actress to play the anxious damsel in distress? If she were to suddenly start singing and dancing with happiness and the vicomte were to catch wind of what we're planning, it would be disastrous. So maybe we shouldn't tell her until she's already far away—for her own safety, of course."

And so I can get my revenge. Mwahahaha!

"Indeed?" Mr Rikkard Ambrose cocked his head. "She didn't seem to have any trouble playing a love-struck girl who had fallen head over heels for Mr Victor Linton. I think she'll be fine."

Dang!

Apparently, my revenge for the reverse harem torment would have to wait.

"So...where will we park the getaway carriage?" I quickly changed the subject before he noticed my disappointment. Frowning, I glanced around. "And where are my minions going to hide?"

"My men," came Mr Rikkard Ambrose's pointed response, "will hide here beneath Adaira's window. There they will wait till the time has come to act. If the 'kidnapping' happens right after the announcement of the duel today, it will be too suspicious. Let me arrange a few sightings of suspicious figures in the area first. After all, there were so many bandits in the forest only the other day. Who is to say that Adaira wasn't what they were really after?"

I looked at my husband with admiring eyes. To think I'd been completely wrong before! Compared to him, I was still an utter novice at villainy!

"As for you two..." Mr Ambrose's cold gaze swept to my two minions, who instantly switched sides and lowered their heads in submission before their new lord and master. Darn! Was there no loyalty among henchmen anymore nowadays? "You hide behind that bush over there. When the time comes, you must be ready to act! Understood?"

"Um...hide here, Mr Ambrose, Sir? For two entire days, without food or water?"

Mr Rikkard Ambrose cocked his head. "Humans can survive without food and water for three days."

I could do nothing but stand there, struck silent in awe. My husband was truly spiffing. I would have to work hard if I wished to ever reach this level of wicked evil.

Or better yet—instead of working hard, why not let others do the work for you? That's what true evil masterminds do!

Good point.

"Um..." One of the unfortunate minions raised a hand. "Do you perhaps have some provisions for..."

"No."

Inside, I couldn't help but clap and nod in approval. This was the way to treat minions.

"Come on, Mrs Ambrose." Snapping his fingers, my dear husband motioned towards the house. "Let's go."

"So we're done for tonight?"

"Done here? Yes. Done for tonight? Certainly not."

I frowned as he led me away, back towards the manor's rear entrance. "What do you mean? Is there something else we still need to do?"

"You could say so," he agreed, not looking my way—although I did catch him glancing down at the pocket that contained a certain gag and blindfold. "For now, let's go to bed."

Oh...

Oh!

I opened my mouth—but before I could respond, I found myself swept off my feet and moving back towards the house at twice the earlier pace, heart pounding in my chest.

That night, the furniture was put through another thorough stress-test.

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My dear Readers,

I think I ought to mention, please do not take the title of this chapter as advice. Kidnapping is only avisable for fictional characters, who do not have to worry about things like morals and lawsuits ;-)

Yours Truly

(a very law-abiding) Sir Rob