I had read somewhere once that ants could carry roughly twenty times their body weight. Judging by the big leaves I'd seen ants carrying around sometimes, they probably could. The question was: could bodyguards do the same?

I was currently doing my very best to find out. Throwing an assessing glance over my shoulder, I scrutinised Karim, who was currently soldiering on despite the several dozen pheasants that were piled on top of him. Atta boy, Karim!

"Do you think we might have hunted enough game now, Sahiba?" came a muffled noise from beneath the feathery pile.

"Hm..." Deep in consideration, I stroked my chin. "Nah, not really. The time isn't over, so we can still add another dozen or two. Better safe than sorry, right?"

"...Yes, Sahiba."

"Well, let's get going then! Like they say, the early worm catches the bird!"

"I am fairly certain it is the other way around, Sahiba."

"Not if the worm has a gun. Now, tally-ho!"

"As you wish, Sahiba."

I was just going to add some words of encouragement for the big fellow, when my attention was attracted by a rustling noise to my left.

"Oy! Did you hear that?"

"What, Sahiba?"

"I heard a noise over there. Maybe it's another bird that—"

My words were interrupted by a metallic click. A click I was intimately familiar with.

"That," Karim pointed out, his voice suddenly rather solemn, "was not a—Get down!"

I didn't need Karim's warning. I was already on the move. With a squelch, I hit the muddy ground, just as—

Bang!

The flash from between the trees made me curse under my breath.

I knew it! Someone is taking pot shots at me!

Rolling around, I managed to hurl myself behind a tree an instant before the next bullet cut through the air. It slammed into the tree with a crack of splintering wood. Then they came. Men in rags and rough leather clothes dashed out from the forest, raising their weapons.

"You there!" barked a gruff-looking masked man. "Freeze!"

He probably should have used a more intimidating threat towards the wife and bodyguard of Mr Rikkard-Arctic-Iceberg Ambrose.

"Take cover!" Ignoring the filthy bastard's words, I raised my rifle to take aim. "It's an ambush!"

"You don't say! Karim's voice came from behind a big boulder. "I would never have guessed!"

"My oh my..." came a mocking voice from further ahead. "Did I scare you? Don't worry." Glancing around the tree, I caught sight of the same figure as before. Even through the tattered cloth that served as a mask, I could see the evil smirk on his face. The smirk of a bastard who knew he had his victims cornered. "Why don't you just come out to play? After your family pays a nice ransom, we'd be happy to return you. We'll even return you in one piece...mostly."

I stiffened. Bandits? Highwaymen? This close to a noble's manor?

Should we...?

For a moment, I hesitated—but then I noticed vindictive enjoyment in the man's eyes. The bloodthirst. He wasn't here to take hostages for ransom.

Besides...my closest male relative was Uncle Bufford, and my husband Mr Rikkard Ambrose. If someone really kidnapped me for ransom, that poor sod would be waiting for his money for a very, very long time.

Teeth gritted in determination, I tightened my grip on my rifle. "Go to hell and jump in a lava pit!"

The man's concealed smirk only widened. "I'd hoped you'd say that."

He aimed his gun and—

Bam!

The bastard dropped, cursing and clutching his wounded leg.

What, you thought I was going to wait and let him shoot first? Ha, right!

"Karim!" I shouted. "Get those sons of bitches!"

"Woof!"

"No, I'm not insulting you, Barb! Keep your bloody head down! And you, Karim, shoot!"

"Yes, Sahiba!"

Immediately, Karim took aim, and—

Bam!

With a cry, another one of the figures between the trees went down. The rest hurried to take cover. That didn't discourage Karim, though. The massive man shot and reloaded, shot and reloaded, his face set in grim determination. I, for my part, had long since switched out the rifle for my trusty revolver and was now firing continuously into the mass of ruffians. But with all the trees in the way, I could hardly aim properly, let alone hit anything. Besides...there were so many of them! So bloody many they didn't even really need to worry about us fighting back. Even if we did shoot, so what? What could two people do against dozens? All they had to do was to swarm us, and we would be done. We were massively outnumbered.

I smiled.

Or at least that's what they think.

"Everyone—now!" I shouted.

At my command, like silent wraiths, men in grey tailcoats rushed from the forest, every single one armed to the teeth, their icy eyes fixed on their targets. My smile widened into a vicious smirk.

Time to pay the bill, suckers!

Mr Ambrose's men swarmed their opponents as if they were tax collectors in an illegal enterprise. Gunshots echoed through the forest like raindrops, and the ground became wet. Only not with water, but with blood.

Roaring, the thugs rushed forward, not seeming to care they dropped like flies. Ha! Did they really think a few rag-tag bandits were enough to face us?

That was when, from right behind us, came a cacophony of shouts, followed by gunshots.

No. Apparently, they don't.

"Bloody hell!" Whirling around, I aimed my rifle into the forest while still firing the revolver the other way. "It's a trap! We're surrounded!"

"Oh, really?" Karim growled. "Thanks so much for telling me!"

With a colourful French curse, I rolled between two larger trees, trying desperately to get cover from both sides. A sharp crack followed by a sting on my cheek told me I had only been partially successful.

Hissing in pain, I wiped off the blood leaking from the graze on my cheek and leaned farther between the trees.

"Who the bloody hell are those bastards?"

"Judging by their appearance I would say highwaymen lurking in the forest," Karim growled. "But right here, right now? While we're in the same forest as that man?"

He didn't say anything more. His meaning, however, was all too clear. And frankly, I agreed. If these people weren't hired by the vicomte, I would eat my bowler hat. Without condiments.

"Crap!" My head was whipping back and forth madly, trying to keep both sides of the conflict in my field of vision—in vain. "We can't keep this up for long! We've got to get out of here!"

"Agreed, Sahiba."

"But how?" one of the grey-clad men demanded, not stopping his fire for a single instant. "How the hell can we possibly get through that?"

"Oh..." Growling, Karim pushed himself up from the ground, until he was standing tall as a mountain. "I have an idea."

"What?" My head whipped towards him the moment his words registered. "Don't you dare, you—"

Before I could get out another word, he moved. With a roar like an enraged grizzly bear, Karim charged out from behind his rock, straight towards the enemy, carrying...ten bedraggled, dead birds?

The reason for his unconventional choice of weapon became obvious a moment later when several shots sounded—and yet none of them hit the bodyguard. Instead, feathers flew up from where they had struck the pheasants he was using as a shield. Panicked, the attackers scrambled to reload their weapons. Yet, by then, it was already far too late.

"Die, phalī-kaṭē kutē!"

Steel flashed. Feathers exploded as a massive sabre cut right through the pheasants and several men still desperately trying to reload their guns. Men went flying in all directions, most of them sliced into several pieces. A gap burst open in the encirclement. Other men immediately moved to close it, but Karim did not seem to plan on giving them the chance. With another battle cry, he surged forward, slamming his shoulder into the man in front of him and lifting him bodily into the air. In an arc, the hapless bandit sailed through the air and, crashing into several of his compatriots, sent the lot of them tumbling into the underbrush.

A fresh gap had opened.

"Run!"

The bellowed command shook me from my momentary daze. Instantly, I leapt to my feet and rushed forward. "You heard him, men! Get moving!"

You had to give it to the subordinates of Mr Rikkard Ambrose—they knew how to follow orders quickly. Running like the wind, they headed straight for the small breach in the encirclement. I was the first to reach it and slam my rifle into the head of a man who tried to get into my way. He went down like a stone, and I leapt past his prone form, straight into freedom!

Bam! Bam!

Freedom that might be all too fleeting if one of those shots hit.

"Faster! Faster!" I shouted over the din of guns and feet trampling through the underbrush. "Get moving, you useless layabouts, or you can forget about your wages for this week! Faster!"

Apparently, my imitation of Mr Ambrose did the trick. They sped up and, in a blink, we were all past the blockade, dashing through the forest as fast as our feet would carry us. A moment later, Karim appeared beside me, easily keeping pace. And that was saying something, considering he was still carrying the bloody pheasants!

"What...huff, huff...are you doing...huff...still carrying those around?!"

The look he sent back at me was hard as ironwood. "Fulfilling my duty."

He wasn't even breathing hard. Bloody unfair!

Gritting my teeth, I doubled my efforts and forced my legs to pump harder and harder. Sweat pouring down my face, I raced through the forest, uncaring of the twigs and thorns that scratched my skin. From behind me, I could still hear shouts and gunshots. I had to go faster. Faster, dammit!

Finally, the noise from behind began to subside. I didn't let it lull me into a false sense of security. Instead, I continued running until any hint of noise behind us was gone, and only the silence of an autumn forest met my ears.

Glancing over my shoulder, I found no trace of our pursuers remaining. Despite how my mouth was still desperately dragging in air, a grin managed to twist my lips. "Ha! We did it! We actually did it!"

"Hm..." Karim also threw a glance back. "Seems like it, Sahiba."

"Should we stop?"

Another suspicious glance over his shoulder from the bodyguard. "Let's keep going for a bit longer, just in case."

"Oh, crap! If...huff, huff...you insist!"

"Look at the bright side, Sahiba: this is a lot easier for you now than it would have been two weeks ago."

"You...huff...really have a talent for cheering people up, don't you?"

"I aim to serve, Sahiba."

Without further ado, we continued our way through the forest, even if not at quite the same frantic pace as before. And while I was totally exhausted, I could not help the feeling of elation that spread through me. We'd done it! We'd given them the slip! And it hadn't even been that difficult.

Slowing down a bit more, I glanced around. We'd run off pretty mindlessly in the direction where the encirclement was the weakest, uncaring of where it led us. Something was showing now.

"Well," I panted, "that was rather easy. Now where do we go?"

"True." Karim's eyes narrowed as he slowed his steps a bit. "A little too easy. I wonder—"

That was when the ground gave way beneath him, and he plummeted into darkness.

Instinctively I jumped forward to try and help, try and grab hold of him. Unfortunately, I had forgotten one rather pertinent point: a massive, muscle-bound mountain of a man was just a bit heavier than sweet little me, particularly while carrying a dozen or so pheasants.

"Uuaaaaah!"

My feet slipped on the wet leaves and, before I could do a thing, I plummeted forward into the black pit that had opened up in front of us. Cold air rushed past me and, half a second later, I landed face-first in the muck.

"Ugh...!"

For a moment, I just lay there, stunned. Then, gathering all the remaining strength in my aching limbs, I pushed myself up around until I flopped onto my back. Only then did I really see where we had ended up: in the mud, at the bottom of a dark pit with steep, almost smooth walls.

This was not natural. This was man-made. A trap.

As if summoned by my thoughts, the dark shape of a man appeared at the edge of the pit. This was enough to shake Karim out of his daze. With a snarl, he launched himself from the ground and, clawing at the hardened walls of dirt, tried to pull himself up far enough to grab the man—only for the earth to crumble under his fingers, and his figure to slam down into the dirt once more. As more figures appeared at the edge of the pit, mocking laughter echoed through the forest.

"Well, well, now..." The bandit leader was still clutching the graze on his leg as he peered down at us. But, looking at the wicked smirk on his face, you could not have guessed he was in pain. "What do we have here?"

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My dear Readers,

In case you were wondering, what the "tally-ho" in the above chapter means, it is a traditional English hunting cry.  Who knows, it might come in handy if you ever go to England and find a time machine to travel back to a time before hunts were outlawed ;-)

Yours Truly

Sir Rob

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GLOSSARY:

Phalī-kaṭē kutē—Pujabi for "flea-bitten dogs".