The Midnight Catastrophe

Coffee was everything to Hasame and Naoko, they loved the feeling of caffeine hitting them, and since they were both insomniacs, they used it as a way to function in society and not commit homicide.

To their very pleasant surprise, Dabi shared their love, and his taste was absolutely impeccable. As a trio, they would go out in public (disguised, of course), and find the fanciest coffee shops, salivating over beans that cost as much as one of Hasame's paychecks.

On the other hand, Levi was an insomniac who was addicted to coffee, but unlike the trio, he didn't give a rat's ass where the coffee came from. Yesterday's coffee that had been cold for more than 24 hours and probably was more water than coffee? He'd chug that shit still cold, and black. Cheap ass coffee that came from the dollar store and tasted like literal dirt? Didn't phase him in the slightest.

It was truly chilling to watch. The trio had to look away every time he did that.

Chris had a decent taste when he was picking coffee, but he hated drinking it, and Mag was a bit of a purist when it came to that, she much preferred tea, brewed strong. Eri was too young, but Naoko was determined to turn her into just as much of a coffee snob as she was one day.

This is why, when Dabi burst in, a bag of beans in his hands, and a proud look in his eyes, Naoko and Hasame got excited for the first time in a while.

Immediately, Naoko threw her book to the side and Hasame basically shoved aside Eri in their scramble to get to the smug man. "Is that what I think it is?" Hasame clamored, her cheeks flushed lightly.

Naoko was grinning ear to ear, the packaging of the bag recognizable to anyone who cared about coffee.

Eri poked her head in, her big red eyes sparkling as she tried to understand what was happening, "Dobby?" She asked, not noticing the irritation that bloomed in Dabi's eyes, nor the humor in Hasame's, (she was the one to teach the poor girl that), "What's in the bag?"

It was said with such innocence and purity that Dabi had to look away squinting, but he still smiled proudly, "They're-"

"Black Ivory Coffee Beans." Naoko's eye's practically sparkled at this, "One of the rarest coffee's in the world and the most expensive!"

Chris walked in just in time to hear her say this, and concern wrinkled his brow, "Expensive?" He asked, seemingly afraid of the answer, "How expensive?"

"Over $800 per pound." Hasame whispered like a prayer.

If Naoko could hear Chris's gasp at that moment, she probably would've died, but instead, she leaned down as Eri tugged on her shirt, looking directly at Eri to not miss the distorted whisper.

"Is that a lot?"

Dabi's ears had long since flushed as he looked everywhere but at the hero, who was watching him with horror in his eyes, "I... Uh, well..." He was beyond uncomfortable, and both Hasame and Naoko were living for it.

"No," Naoko was extremely serious in her response, "It's more than a lot."

This seemed to convey the message, as Eri nodded solemnly, going back to observing.

Chris, on the other hand, seemed to be facing a moral crisis. He knew well and good that Dabi didn't have income like that, so that probably meant he stole it. Which was bad... But it wouldn't be the first time any of them had stolen something, and there was nothing about a robbery on the police scanners, which meant Dabi probably hadn't hurt anyone... Which was good.

No, he had to ask, he was basically the only grownup here, "Where-"

"That hardly matters," Surprisingly, it was Hasame who brushed off Chris' attempt at parenting, waving her hand dismissively, "Are they already roasted?"

What followed was a 45-minute discussion on how it would be best to roast the beans, what roast they wanted to give the beans, what was the best method of grinding and brewing... etc, etc.

It was long enough to where Chris got several adorable pictures of Dabi doing Eri's hair, and Mag was able to come and steal the cutie to get all dressed up. Basically, the trio completely lost their sense of time as they talked coffee.

Prep was done, and the coffee beans set to roast.

They would be done roasting in the early morning, and while there were only just enough beans for the three of them to have a good cup of coffee, it would be a cup to remember.

Unfortunately, like all things that had to do with Naoko's life... Reality decided she needed yet another kick in the gut. And this one truly stung.

It was about 1 in the morning, Naoko's normal wake-up time. She'd gotten four hours of sleep, so she was better off than normal, yet, something was off.

The smell of fresh coffee wafted through the house, teasing Naoko with the delicate, herbaceous scent... One that she'd been waiting for all day... Well, since Dabi walked in with his amazing find. It was coffee, but it wasn't normal coffee, and Naoko's sensitive nose was able to pick up on it right away.

Anger flared through Naoko for a moment as she rolled out of bed, ignoring the fact that she was in nothing but a sports bra and boxer shorts. "I swear, if they brewed it without me..." She muttered.

She could already see how they would die, it would be slow and methodical, a fitting punishment for not letting her be there to watch the most expensive coffee in the world brew. She'd been to dark places before, she was more than happy to go there once more for the sake of the Black Ivory coffee.

However, the sight that greeted her was not one that she expected.

A familiar figure stood in front of the coffee pot, his cup that could hold an entire coffee pot's worth of coffee raised as he chugged it.

No.

Oh god...

Naoko dropped to her knees Levi turned around, sleep still heavily present in his eyes.

He waved, his familiar signal that he would talk once he finished, but Naoko couldn't comprehend it. How could someone so lazy with his coffee... so... uncaring, take the time to grind the beans, and put them in a 3000 yen coffee machine, and brew them? He literally had his Folgers right there! Right next to the pot! His gross, pre-ground coffee. That he traded in exchange for a coffee he had no ability to appreciate.

How could life be this cruel?

Levi stood oblivious as Naoko's world crumbled, his brow quirked. No doubt he was confused... It was just too much.

"How could you, Levi?" Naoko signed. her heartbreak showing in her eyes. "How did you even learn to grind the beans?"

Perhaps that sounded harsh, but Levi had never once used the grinder. He stuck to his Folgers, like a good boy, and he left the good coffee alone because he knew he didn't care as much about coffee as the others did. He knew it, and yet this one time when it really mattered, he chose to refine his tastes...

A figure stepped into the hallway just as Levi finished his cup, their eyes large and just as heartbroken as Naoko's were.

Silence reigned as they watched Levi shrug and sign his reply, "I saw you guys talking earlier and I liked the smell. It's like a good tea..." He hesitated, looking over Naoko's shoulder, at Dabi and Hasame who were standing right behind Naoko with equally horrorstruck looks on their faces, "I was going to get you more once I was done, I didn't know you'd be up this soon."

It was too much. Naoko was a brave person, but nowhere near brave enough to face the current situation.

A tear rolled down her cheek and she buried her face in her hands. Call her melodramatic or whatever, but this was once in a lifetime coffee, just... gone! Done the drain to an unappreciative person!

He said he would get more, but would that really happen with the scarcity of the beans and the insane price?

No.

There was nothing worth living for anymore, perhaps it was time to give up.

Slowly all three coffee lovers stood up and walked out of the room, perhaps to kill themselves, perhaps to plot Levi's murder, none would find out until it was too late.

A Panicked Dance Party

For the most part, days in the crowded house passed peacefully enough. Dabi and Mag would usually be in and out all day, chatting with Naoko in between. Rei and Hasame helped with renovations and looked after Eri, Naoko stayed holed up, plotting, and Levi and Chris continued with their hero work.

It wasn't the most exciting life, but it was calm and everyone was content, especially when Shoto was brought into the mix to play with Eri and be with his mother and brother.

Crowded and a bit chaotic at times, especially since Eri was still learning how to control her powers, but for the most part, life ran smoothly.

Until they didn't.

A quiet sob echoed through the house, piercing through every wall and alerting everyone to it, especially since it was accompanied by a light yellow glow that always appeared when Eri was upset.

Her powers hadn't fully activated, but as Dabi stood over her with panic written across his face, it was only a matter of time before they did, which would be... less than great, all things considered.

Mag was equally horrified at this, and Shoto sat, eating soba with a completely deadpanned expression on his face as he watched the chaos that was about to unfold (Some would say that he was watching this like a cheesy soap opera and loving every second of it... They'd be right.). Rei, Hasame, and Chris were all gone, and no one in the house had any idea how to handle a crying child, which was less than ideal, considering the situation.

Before Eri could accidentally reverse the scars right off Dabi and that bad dye job right out of his hair, a door slammed open, scaring the crap out of everyone.

"What the fuck did you do, Dabi?"

Naoko's eyes burned as she looked at the group, Eri was sniffling as she looked up at Naoko, those cute red eyes watery, which only made Naoko angrier. This little girl was the only child Naoko had met who could meet Naoko's eyes without flinching and her cute horn and the cute white hair...

Basically, Naoko was just a sucker for Eri, even if she didn't show it all that often.

Dabi, on the other hand, was offended, "Excuse me? Why did you just assume it was me?" He said, pointing to himself, "I could be the victim in all this!"

Shoto shook his head as Mag rolled her eyes and Naoko felt her hope for Dabi's brain die just a little more. Was he really going to play this angle? Did he really think he could win against the adorable Eri? There was no chance anyone would believe the scarred criminal against the cute, vulnerable little girl.

"Hmm." Naoko shook her head, "So you're telling me that Eri, who almost never cries, randomly started crying and her powers acted up? What? Was she throwing a tantrum?"

The amount of disdain in Naoko's voice was palpable as she glared at Dabi, who seemed to be making some quick calculations on whether or not it was worth it to activate Naoko's Stubborn Bitch Side. It was true, Eri wasn't one to throw tantrums... and she was a shy, sweet little girl who had gone through more in her life than anyone should...

But Dabi would rather die than admit that Naoko had a point.

Instinctively, his arms crossed as he squared off, refusing to look at the still crying child who was being ushered into Mag's arms, "So what? Anyone in this room could have made her cry, I wasn't the only person here, and I really don't appreciate the blame game you're playing right now, Naoko."

To him, this seemed to be an airtight argument, but he quickly realized how cruel his companions were as Shoto, his own little brother, spoke up from behind him, "He said we were going to bring her back to Overhaul if she kept being bratty."

Shit.

Naoko reacted just as badly as Mag had only moments before when he let those stupid words slip past his lips. The normally dull green eyes began to blaze as she pinned him down with her glare, "Dabi?" A strange, menacing smile spread across her face, "Did you think really think that saying shit like that would go over well?"

Like a deer in headlights, Dabi froze, his eyes widening as he slowly looked between Naoko and Eri, who was finally starting to calm down.

"Eri?" The unsettling smile was still firmly plastered across Naoko's face as she looked at the girl.

The more Dabi thought about it, the more it made sense that Naoko was possessed by a demon or something similar. Her presence was too... Scary for a normal teenager. She was full of malic and murderous intent, and if he was being honest with himself, it scared the ever-loving shit out of him.

"What do you think we should do to make Mean Dabi over here apologize for his behavior?"

The pure angel that was Eri shook her head, "I don't need him to do anything, Miss Noko, I promise!" She was just the sweetest girl which made Dabi relax. Perhaps he could get out of the situation unscathed.

Mag and Naoko made eye contact for a moment, and the same creepy smile quickly spread to Mag, who only started nodding her head and rubbing Eri's back gently, "Oh honey," She said, that deep voice of hers instantly making Eri relax (And Dabi get even tenser, somehow), "You're so nice, but how about we show you some fun things to do!"

A bead of sweat rolled down Dabi's face as he gulped... Just what did he get himself into?

"Have you ever played with makeup?"

***

It took far more time than Chris or Levi would've liked to get home. Between a robbery, two attempted murders, and even a fun high-speed case that they somehow got dragged into, it had been a ridiculous day. But they were finally home, which meant that they could unwind, take some time to cook dinner together, and maybe they could even escape to their room and have some peace, a valuable commodity in their home now.

However, as soon as they walked in the door, Rei and Hasame greeted them, wide smiles and fingers over their lips, the universal signal to be quiet.

To be fair, the sight was worth it.

The four adults stood in the doorway, attempting to be quiet as they watched, small chuckles escaping no matter how hard they tried to contain them.

Dabi was the real star of the show, dressed in a black, knee-length dress that had strawberries printed on it, and pumps that were quite a bit too big on him (Both Hasme and Rei were a mix of thrilled and irritated, as the dress was Hasame's and the shoes were Rei's, yet he wore it better than either of them... Truly infuriating). He also had makeup, bright red lips, a smokey purple eyeshadow, and eyeliner that was winged for Jesus, all of which suited him oddly well.

And to top it all off; he, Mag, and Eri were in the middle of the room dancing awkwardly as old Disco music played in the background. Mag looked as though she was born for her roll there, while both Dabi and Eri were a bit more... Robotic, as though they had no idea what dancing even was.

Both Shoto and Naoko were sitting off to the side, Naoko smiling wickedly as she watched, her phone up and obviously recording, and Shoto was almost smiling as he ate soba his fifth bowl of soba, more at peace than he had been in far too long.

It was so peaceful and fun, that none of the adults could bear to go interrupt them... Though Chris was already making plans to get that recording from Naoko to turn into a family treasure. It would be passed down through the wonkey, patchwork family for generations to come.

This was what having a family was about.