— CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE,
the second dawn.

"RUBY— WHAT?"

She stares at him in confusion.

"Ryland." Ruby says, keeping her eyes locked on the man she doesn't know. When her best friend doesn't respond, her eyes snap over to him. He stands with his hand pressed over his mouth, eyes wide with shock."Ryland!"

He blinks, snapping out of his shock. His eyes dart to Ruby, "yes?"

The man can do nothing but watch helplessly as the woman he loves doesn't remember who he is.

"Who the hell is he?" Ruby questions.

"Ru—"

He reaches out to touch her arm but pulls back when Ruby jumps away from his touch, hand itching to grab her sword. She doesn't, because she knows that she's supposed to know him and it's obvious to her that her friends know him. So, he isn't a threat. For now.

Bellamy inhaled a sharp breath.

"I'm Bellamy, Ruby." He motions to himself. "Bellamy Blake."

Her brows furrow as she shakes her head. "I don't know a Bellamy Blake, I know an Octavia Blake. That's it."

"You don't remember me? Remember us?" He asks as a tear falls silently down his cheek.

She shakes her head, eyes darting to where the others stand. Hoping to find some sort of answer within their eyes but all she finds is shock.

She looks back to Bellamy, "no, I— I don't remember you. I only remember the others."

Bellamy can do nothing but turn to face the others, silently asking for help.

They have nothing to say, they have no comfort to offer the heartbroken and confused man.

His soulmate doesn't remember him.

She doesn't remember their memories.

Bellamy's eyed turn back to Ruby. For a split second, they stare at each other. One in confusion, the other in pain.

And then, Bellamy turns and rushes out of the room.

"Bellamy!" Clarke calls after him. She takes a step forward as if to follow him but quickly stops. She turns back to face Ruby. "You really don't remember him?"

"No!" Ruby exclaims, "why would I joke about something like that?"

"Ruby. . . seriously—"

"I'm not joking!" She cries out, her brows furrow due to her stress. "I'm sorry, I just don't remember him!"

They all look at her with pity-filled eyes.

Every single goddamn person.

"Stop looking at me like that," she snaps lowly.

Then, she does what Bellamy had.

She walks out of the room.

Everyone call after her but they all go ignored.

She reaches her old home in no time. She pushes the door open, not bothering to shut it behind her. She stops and scans the room.

Clearly, it'd been abandoned.

No one has dared to mess with her home in the time she hasn't been in Arkadia.

She walks forward and flops down on the couch. Her eyes lock on the tv Mount on the wall. A TV was once mounted there, but it came detached when Alpha Station plummeted to Earth. She let the engineers use it for whatever they needed.

This is where she, Ryland, and River watched old horror movies without their parents permission. Where she and her dad watched reruns of old Earth sports. Where she and her mom watched old rom-com movies.

A small smile dusts over her lips as she remembers the memories.

But then her smile fades as she thinks of the person she can't remember.

What is his name?

Bellamy!

Why doesn't she remember who is he? Why doesn't she remember their shared memories?

"Hey," a voice suddenly speaks up.

Ruby jumps, stunned by the sudden voice. She turns her head to see a man standing in her doorway.

Luca.

"Can I come in?" He questions. She nods, knowing he won't take no for an answer. He walks in and sits beside her. He leans back against the back of the couch. "I talked to Abby."

"About what?" Ruby asks.

"Why you can't remember Bellamy." Luca responds.

Her eyes snap over to him, "what'd she say?"

"She thinks it's short term memory loss. You remember when you lost your memory after the Grounders crucified you?" Luca questions. Ruby nods. "Abby thinks it could be related to when you lost your memory then. She thinks if we jog your memory and he stays around you, you'll remember him."

Her brows furrow, "there's like this empty place in my mind. I hadn't noticed it before but being back here— around him, I feel it now."

"Maybe you don't remember him because before you went into your coma you guys were in of a rough, correction, a really rough spot." Luca informs her.

"We were together?" The Carson girl asks.

Luca nods.

"Why were we in a rough spot?" She continues to interrogate him.

Luca takes a deep breath before explaining to Ruby where she and Bellamy were in a bad spot. "You guys didn't agree on something, Bellamy made a lot of mistakes. Did a lot of terrible things and you couldn't forgive him for it."

"Why would I want to remember him if I couldn't forgive him for what he'd done?" She raises her eyebrows in question.

Luca's deep brown eyes scan her face. "Believe me, Ru. You want to remember him."

─────────

Speckled eyes stare out of the rover's windshield. Bellamy sits beside her in the drivers seat, his hands tightly clasped around the steering wheel.

She's so angry at herself for being unable to remember who Bellamy Blake truly is to her.

Clarke had asked Ruby to join herself, Bellamy, and Jaha on a run to see if a doomsday bunker actually exists. Ruby hopes it does, if not, they're all going to die in Praimfaya. Death Wave.

With the end of the world take two coming earlier than expected, people are rushing to patch up Alpha Station so it may be survivable for the next five years of their lives.

But even then. . . it can only hold one hundred people.

It would've held all of the delinquents that arrived on Earth first.

Ruby smiles to herself as she thinks of her friends. She would have liked to live with them.

She misses all of them.

Monroe, Sterling, Wells. . . Finn.

River.

Her smile turns into a frown.

She remembers everything from when they first arrived on Earth. She remembers everyone.

So, why the hell can't she remember anything about Bellamy Blake?

Her eyes dart over to look at him.

He notices immediately. He glances over at her. He mutters, "what?"

"I'm sorry," is all she can say to him.

Bellamy's eyes fall back to the road in front of him. He blinks away his tears.

"Don't be." He whispers.

There is a horrible, deep ache that forms in her chest as she keeps her eyes on him for a moment longer. She notices the way the way the tears in his eyes shimmer. She frowns deeply before turning her eyes back to the forest.

His pain is enough to make her want to remember.

God, why can't she just fucking remember!?

She mentally curses herself.

She closes her eyes, blocking her tears. She takes a deep breath. When she reopens her speckled eyes, a hardened look is in them.

She isn't going to do this.

She is not going to allow herself to be vulnerable, to be weak. Not again, never again.

If her mind wants her to remember Bellamy Blake, then she will remember him when the time is right.

Jaha suddenly pulls a video up on the tablet he has in his hands. He starts to play it for the three young adults. Ruby shifts so she can watch the video.

"The end is coming," the man annocunes. He has jaw length light brown hair and a goatee. Jaha informs them that his name was Bill Cadogan and he was the leader of some doomsday cult called The Second Dawn. "Hear me as I say it this time. The end is coming. And it's coming soon."

Jaha hands the tablet to Ruby. She takes it in her hand and holds it out so both Clarke, Bellamy, and Jaha can all see. Clarke leans forward from where she sits in the back with Jaha. "He gave this speech two weeks before the bombs," Jaha informs them. Ruby's eyes move to him, shock in her eyes.

"The world is dark and getting darker all the time. Everything we once trusted has turned on us— government, religion. Even technology has become a weapon in their hands used to poison our minds. I know you're in pain. I know you're afraid, but it doesn't have to be like this. There is a way out of the darkness. I can show it to you. You can be saved. Join me. Join us, and together when the Horsemen come, from the ashes, we will rise." Cadogan says.

And with that, the video shuts off. Ruby hands to tablet back to Jaha. He begins to search for something else on the piece of technology.

Clarke turns to Jaha, "please tell me you have more than this."

As Clarke says this, Ruby mumbles to herself, "from the ashes, we will rise."

"In the two years before the bombs, Cadogan sold off most of the Second Dawn's real estate holdings. Generating tens of millions of dollars, but there was one thing he didn't sell." Jaha starts as he hands the tablet back to Ruby. She lol down at the screen to see a small Woden cabin. "I found this in his autobiography. It's his childhood home. His father built a bunker there to save his family. I think Cadogan used the church's money to expand it."

"He grew up there. Maybe he kept it for sentimental value." Bellamy suggests.

"His father beat him almost daily in that house. He hated living there." Jaha tells them. All three young adults look to him.

"Shit," Ruby says as she shakes her head. "So much for sentimental value."

"Why keep it if you're liquidating everything else?" Clarke speaks up.

"Because that bunker is there. I can feel it," Jaha says to them.

"Guy sounds like religious fanatic to me." Bellamy cuts in.

"More like a cult leader," Ruby shrugs.

"Maybe, or maybe he was just a leader willing to do what it took to save his people." Jaha raises his eyebrows.

Clarke, Ruby, and Bellamy all share a look.

Jaha May back caused hundreds of people to die, he may have sent one hundred children down to Earth to die, but he was damn good at one thing.

Making a good speech.

─────────

By the time the rover stops, night has settled over the Earth.

The group exits the rover. Ruby walks around the other side to where Jaha, Clarke, Bellamy stand.

"Cadogan learned how to survive from his father. They hunted in these woods." Jaha says as he hold up the tablet with the picture of Cadogan's childhood home. After he lowers it, Ruby sees that it's the exact same spot, "this is it."

"Well, if anyone's entitled to a lucky break, we are." Bellamy says.

"We've been past due for a lucky break for a while now," Ruby pipes.

"You hear that?" Jaha asks, "no insects." Ruby's eyes snap to Jaha as she listens. He's right. There's no chirp of insects. Jaha notices the concerned look on Ruby's face. "What?" He asks.

"Luna said the fish were dying." Clarke speaks up.

"What are the thing that eat the fish and bugs gonna eat now?" Bellamy wonders aloud.

"What happened to us deserving a lucky break?" Clarke glances at Bellamy as the group walks deeper into the forest, "so what're we looking for?"

"The bunker would have been at the lowest point." Jaha explains.

"Anything structural." Bellamy says. He glanced between Ruby and Clarke, "be careful."

Clarke and Ruby move on together while Bellamy and Jaha walk side-by-side.

As they walk, Ruby looks over at Clarke. "Are you okay, Clarke?"

Clarke shrugs in response. "Kinda have to be. Don't we? With everything that's happening, I don't have time to be okay or not be okay."

"None of us do," Ruby says. "Shit's coming to an end. Again. And this time we get front row seats."

Clarke scoffs, "yeah and it sucks."

"Yeah, it does." Ruby shakes her head. Then she continues, "butwe're strong and we're smart. We can outlive Praimfaya." Death Wave.

"Yes, we can," Clarke reaches down and grabs Ruby's hand. She squeezes.

Clarke lets go of Ruby's hand as they walk farther into the forest. Suddenly, Clarke comes to a stop.

"What?" Ruby walks faster to catch up to her. "What is it?"

"That look like a bunker entrance to you?" Clarke looks at Ruby over her shoulder.

Ruby's head cocks to the side as she examines the odd way the bushes have grown, "it does." She then calls out. "Over here guys!"

The two men make their way over. Bellamy looks at Ruby and Clarke, his eyes linger on Ruby for a moment longer. "Stay behind me."

Clarke nods. Ruby scoffs.

He and Jaha get the greenery away from the doorway. They pry it open.

"Watch your head," Bellamy tells them as they walk into the room.

Ruby shines her flashlight around the room. She stops when she catches sight of a skeleton. She grimaces as Bellamy approaches it.

Bellamy crouches down and grabs something off of the skeleton. He walks back to the others. Ruby sees that he holds a metal coin in his hand, nearly the size of his palm.

"'From the ashes, we will rise.'" He reads the letters on it. His brown eyes then look back to the skeleton. "Not this guy." He says. He stands to his full height and tosses the coin to Jaha.

On the back is the number eleven in Roman numerals. Jaha starts to explain, "the eleventh seal. Their faith was based on twelve seals. Followers could level up by unlocking them one at a time. Only those who reached level twelve could reach salvation."

"That's so screwed up," Ruby says to herself as her eyes fall back on the skeleton. "Some of these people didn't deserve to die."

A hand falls on her arm. Her eyes immediately lock with Bellamy's. Their eyes stay locked for all of three seconds before Clarke starts talking, "maybe that's why they didn't let him in."

"I was right." Jaha says.

Bellamy and Ruby both look to see him standing in front of another metal door. They approach him as Clarke comes up behind them.

"What if they're still in there?" Clarke questions.

Bellamy bangs on the door. He starts to shout, "hey! Is anyone in there?"

No answer.

The three young adults steps back as Jaha tries to pry the door open. He's not lucky. He turns back to the young adults. "Still sealed."

"There's no locks, no handles." Ruby notes.

"That's because it was designed to be opened from the inside." Jaha tells them.

"Or from the outside by somebody with a rover," Bellamy smirks to himself.

Barely fifteen minutes later, Bellamy is in the drivers seat of the rover. Clarke sits in the passenger seat. Jaha and Ruby stand side-by-side. Her arms are crossed over her chest, cautious of her healing wrists. They don't hurt too much anymore.

"I never said I was sorry for you loss." Jaha speaks up suddenly.

Ruby glances over at him. "What?"

"Well, losses. River Bailey, Finn Collins, your father, Lincoln." He tells her. Her shoulders tense up slightly at the mention of Lincoln. His death is still so fresh. "I'm sorry."

"And I'm sorry for your loss." Ruby says.

Immediately, Jaha knows who Ruby is talking about.

His son.

Wells Jaha.

"He saved my life, ya know." Ruby starts, "from a panther, actually. Damn thing would've ripped my face off it wasn't for Wells. He was a good person, Jaha. You did good with him."

"He was," Jaha nods solemnly. "Thank you for being his friend for the short time he was alive down here."

"You don't have to thank me, Jaha." She shakes her head.

Suddenly, a loud crash sounds from the bunker. Something flies towards Jaha and Ruby. A hand clasps over her bicep and yanks her backward.

She gasps as she and Jaha stumble backwards. They both look to see the metal door resting in the grass.

It would've hit her if Jaha hadn't yanked her backwards.

"Holy shit!" She shouts as she regains her footing.

"Ruby?" Two panicked voices call from the river.

"It's all good!" She calls back.

Bellamy and Clarke rejoin Ruby and Jaha. The walk down the old, cracking steps into the bunker again.

"It worked," Jaha says as he sees the now open doorway. A small smile forms on his lips.

They walk in the doorway and stop as soon as they do. The sound of dripping water hits Ruby's ears, something the others cannot hear. The hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

Bellamy lights a flare. It emits a red glow over them and the destruction below them.

Ruby's eyes widen at the sight.

"This can't be," Jaha whispers in horror.

Before them, lays hundreds of skeletons in the mud. Bellamy shakes his head in realization. "It wasn't sealed."

"The radiation would've killed them in days."

________________________________

word count: 2,891
episode: the four horsemen

welp!!!! that happened.

alright, pals, let's get to talking about this chapter.

i hate it. i hated the original version and i still hate the rewritten version. it's just ick. i hate it so much, ugh.

anyway, bellamy's reaction to ruby not remembering him 🥹. i'm in spain with out the s for real. even though they went through it in the last act, they're still my babies and i love them. i hate to see them in pain.

and then ruby blaming herself for not remembering??? UGH, MY HEART!!! she's so heartbreaking to write and rewrite. i just want to wrap ruby up in a huge hug and never, ever let her go. i also just want to apologize for putting her through so much pain. but said pain only gets worse in this act!!! so, yayyyy!!!

luca, my love. my heart and soul. he's so amazing and precious. i love him so freaking much. all he wants is the absolute best for ruby and i love that. their relationship is so precious to me because he's the only one that truly understands what she went through during her months as a reaper.

aside from this chapter, let's talk about something real life. i got my senior prom dress, guys!!! and of course i'm going to show y'all because y'all are all my bestie boos and i love y'all very, very much.