A/N: This chapter isn't based off an episode because episode 7 in season one, Dick/Robin isn't in it at all. So this is taking place after episode 6, through episode 7 up to episode 8. In episode 7, Wally states that Robin is doing the dynamic duo thing in Gotham, so this chapter is all about Dick, with his POV (point of views)
*This chapter deals with Self harm, suicidal thoughts/actions, depression*

Gotham City.
Wayne Manor, 9:15 AM

Dick's POV-

I peeked out from under my blankets, the light from the morning sun was shinning through my curtains and seriously bothering me. I wanted to hide away from everything, that included the sun. As soon as I pull the covers back over my head, I hear a knock on my door. I sigh.
"Please just go away! Please leave me be!" I plead silently to myself as I hear another knock on my door and then Alfred's voice. 

"Master Dick. Breakfast has been prepared." says Alfred through the door. I sigh, I have no energy whatsoever to eat, let alone move. I remain quite, hoping that he would just move on, but knowing full well that he won't.
"Master Dick." calls Alfred once again. I then clear my throat, preparing to actually speak but then freezing at the speaking part. I sigh and remain still within my warm bed. 
"May I enter sir?" Alfred questions, usually I would knock once for yes and twice for no but I just can't right now. This...everything is so overwhelming, all I want is for things to just be whelmed. After not giving my answer, Alfred makes his way into my bedroom. I remain completely still as I listen to him slowly approaching my bed. 

"Please just go" I think as I feel the covers being lifted and pulled from over my head. The sunlight blinds me instantly and I close my eyes tightly. 

"Master Dick, is everything alright?" Alfred questions me. I slowly open my eyes and stare off at my wall behind Alfred. After not making eye contact with him, he must realize that something is off. He then kneels down to my level. His face now in my line of sight. I blink at him but do nothing else. I just really want him to leave. I just want...need to be alone right now. He shouldn't be worrying about me, I'm nothing to be worried about. Both his and Bruce's lives would be way better off without me in it messing it all up. I have completely rearranged their whole lives. Both he and Bruce probably loved it before I came along and changed everything.

I'm so lost within my thoughts that I completely forgot that Alfred was standing before. I blink to clear my vision and I look up at him. My eyes scan his face and wait for something to happen, but all he does is sigh and straighten up before he leaves me all alone. "Which is what I wanted right? I don't know. I guess what I really want is to be held and reassured that everything will be alright even though it feels like nothing will ever be okay again." Dick thinks.

 I sigh and yank the covers back over my head. I close my eyes and I am glad that I can fall back asleep.

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About an hour later both Alfred and Bruce entered Dick's room. He was still asleep in his bed, but now his head was no longer buried under his covers. Bruce sat down on the side of bed and patted Dick's still form. Dick began to move a little bit but then went back to his still form. Bruce sighed and patted a little heavier.

"Dickie" said Bruce. This got Dick's attention, he rolled onto his side of the bed where Bruce was sitting. Then he slowly opened his eyes and looked up at Bruce. Bruce looked down at Dick and he could see the sadness within his blue eyes. "What's wrong chum?" Bruce asks. 

Alfred is standing off to the side watching this two. All Dick did was shrug his shoulders and looked away from Bruce's eyes. Bruce sighed and looked over his shoulder at Alfred. Then Bruce gently placed his hand on Dick's forehead, seeing if he had a fever, Dick leaned into his hand and Bruce then looked down at his son. He could see that he wasn't sick with a cold, that's when his chest hurt, he knew right then what was the matter.

"It's back, isn't it?" questions Bruce. They sat there in silence until Dick nodded his head and closed his eyes. Bruce nodded his head and bent down and kissed Dick's forehead.
"Don't worry, we're here. Everything is going to alright, you'll see chum.'' Then Bruce straighten up and headed towards the door, "Get some rest'' he said then looked over at Alfred and then disappeared down the hall. 

Alfred then walked closer towards Dick. Alfred patted Dick's shoulder to let him know that someone was still there, he slowly opened his eyes and looked up at Alfred. Dick's eyes slowly filled up with tears but he tried his best to not let them fall.
"Master Dick, would you like me to call Mister Wallace?" asked Alfred.

"No...Alfred." said Dick in a whisper and rolled over facing the wall. Alfred stood their surprised. He was first surprised that Dick spoke to him and then second that Dick didn't want his best friend over. Dick usually always wanted young West over. This worried Alfred very much,

"As you wish Master Dick'' Alfred said and waited to see if Dick did anything but he didn't so Alfred turned and left to go find Master Bruce.

Dick closed his eyes once he heard his door close behind Alfred and he fell back to sleep.

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Wayne Manor, midnight.

Bruce knocked on Dick's door. He slowly entered the room and stood at the foot of his bed. "Dick do you want to go on patrol with me tonight?" he asked. Dick loved patrol, he loved the feeling of flying through the air, it usually cheered him up a bit and cleared his mind. Bruce waited for Dick to respond but Dick didn't move. Bruce then sighed and left the room, leaving Dick alone in the darkness. He was now at the will power of his mind. He exhaled as his mind began to race.

"It hurts that I can't be what everyone wants, or needs me to be. It hurts that I can't be what I want or need. I wish I can speak like everyone else. They all probably hate me because I can't do what I should be able to do. I'm not enough. I won't ever be enough, I'll never be close to be enough for anyone or myself. I am so tried. 
I'm worthless, stupid, nothing, useless and a burden. Everyone hates me! Bruce, Alfred, the whole League and the team and especially...Wally. No matter how much they say they care about me, it's all lies. I am scared that he will see me, the way I see myself. Bruce doesn't care, if he cared he would have stayed by my side and helped me. He probably has never cared about me. The kids at school are right about what they call me, I am a charity case, a stupid gypsy that should die. Everyone would be better of without me in their lives!"

Dick's whole body began to shake as he broke down and cried.

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Three days later.

Dick was still in his bed. He hasn't left his room or eaten anything. Alfred kept bringing food to Dick but he would just look at it and not eat it. He was slowly slipping deeper and deeper into his depression. 

Bruce came around once or twice but after trying to get Dick to talk and failing he seemed to give up and let Dick ride this depression attack out on his own. Dick saw Alfred give Bruce a stern look, he probably talked to him too about all of this but it didn't matter. Nothing did right now, most certainly not himself. He eventually shoved his phone away in his night stand, for it kept going off. Most calls and texts were from Wally. 

Dick couldn't handle anything to deal with Wally right now. He had broken his best friend, Wally probably hated him as much as he hated himself. He knew Wally and everyone would be alright without him. Wally would find someone else and everything would go on as it should, without him around.
Now both of Dick's wrists had fresh cuts on them, along with his thighs. But no matter how much he cut, he couldn't seem to be able to cut away the hurt he felt inside.

This numbness has taken over him, along with his sad and troubled thoughts. 

Just as he forced himself to sit up, he reached for his new best friend, his razor blade. As he reached for it his phone buzzed. He remembered Alfred saying that barbara had called the Manor a couple of times. Dick decided he probably should check and just simply tell her that everything was fine, but in reality that couldn't be farther than the truth.

He picked but his phone and razor blade up. He sat the blade down next to him while he looked at his phone. It was a text message from Wally. He had nothing better to do, so he clicked on it to view it. Once he did that about 20 messages appeared. He ignored them and looked at the newest one sent. 

W: Dude, come on! Please answer me!!! I'm soo borded!!!! I just wanted to know if you are coming by the Mountain today? They team has been asking about you. Text me back, and I'm sorry Rob.

Dick stared at his phone. He shock his head not believing what he read. "I doubt the team is asking about me, why would they?" thought Dick, then he froze as he read the last bit of the text message, 'I'm sorry Rob' Dick squeezed hie eyes tightly. He was now so angry with himself. He decided to send him a quick text and be done, for he was done. He was done with everything.

D: Hey Walls, can't make it to the mount today, doing something with the bats. And Wally, I'm really sorry about what happened last time. It's all my fault, everything is and I'm sorry. Later man.

Dick hit send then turned his phone off. He then got off his bed and went to his door and locked it. He then walked into the bathroom, flicked the light on and looked at himself. He didn't ever recognized himself. He grew so angry that in a quick second without thinking he punched his mirror. Shards of glass rain down into his sink. His body moved without his mind processing what had happened. He then picked pieces of glass out of his hand and looked at the blood. He then reached out and shut his bathroom door and locked it.

Dick allowed himself to slid down to the ground. He brought his knees to his chest and hugged them as he cried. Everything was out of control. He suddenly felt like he was drowning. His mind then began throwing hurtful things at him.

Failure.
Worthless.
Fat.
Nothing.
Useless.
Ugly.
Stupid.
Orphan.
Freak.
No body.

Dick reached up and grabbed handful of his hair and yanked it. Tears fell from his eyes as he suddenly felt like screaming because he had no one to talk to, no one to listen to him, and no one who care. He picked a shard of glass and stared down at it. Seeing part of himself in the broken piece of mirror, and he saw that he was broken as well. 

Dick cried. He wanted to be held my his parents. To have Bruce care, to have....to be the person Wally deserved to love. But he couldn't be that person. Why would Wally love him? His body was covered now with cuts and scars, he was worthless. He closed his eyes and brought the mirror shard down upon his wrist and press down hardly and began to cut vertically. 

After awhile either due to being tired or the blood lost, Dick slipped into the darkness that pulled at the corner of his vision, he welcomed it with open arms.