"Excuse me?" 

I only barely heard the voice. It was light, male, but soft and feminine. I was so engrossed with my studies that my brain only half-registered it. 

"Um, excuse me, if I may?" 

Understanding the voice was speaking to me, I looked up, annoyed. An angel stood over my table; he had fair skin, strikingly black hair, and thick eyelashes that put on display the pools of dark brown eyes. He wore robes of gold, a loose black belt around his waist hanging on his hips. 

My eyes immediately fell to his wings. All angels' wings were large. This fellow standing before me? His were massive. Mikha'el had nothing compared to this guy. I clearly recognized him as an archangel; he couldn't even properly fold all six behind him. It was clear he brought them about himself as tight as he could, and I felt bad for a second; he looked rather uncomfortable, with his wings all smashed together against his body like that. 

"Yes?" 

"Are you Ulcinin?" he asked in an odd cadence that came off both timid and assured. 

I bit my growing annoyance. "Yes; who's asking?" 

"Forgive me; it is I, Raphael." 

Like I was supposed to understand the significance of his name. Fighting back an eye roll, I offered a curt nod, trying to exude dismissal. "Pleasure to meet you Raphael." 

I looked down at my book. I read a page, eyes burning at the letters. When it became apparent Raphael wasn't going to leave, I ground my teeth. Getting a hold of myself, I lifted my head and grinned. It probably came off as a grimace but right then I didn't care. 

"What can I help you with?" 

"You are the Ulcinin under Mikha'el, yes?" 

"Is Ulcinin a common name?”

"No. In fact, I know no others who bear that name." 

I pinched the bridge of my nose for a moment. "Yes, I am he." 

"Oh excellent! Come walk with me." 

Was he serious? I know I was seriously losing my patience. "Er, I would rather decline for another time. You see, I have a rather heavy workload currently, one that Mikha'el set out for me—" 

Raphael looked at me patiently. "Mikha'el knows I wish to speak with you." He turned his head to the side. "Metatron—protect." 

The book before me slammed shut. Startled, I looked at it and then up at Raphael. He smiled pleasantly. 

"Come—Metatron has hidden your work. It shall be here upon your arrival, undisturbed." 

I looked back at the book. "Oh." I pushed back my chair. "Er, alright." 

I followed Raphael to the front of the library. Auriel paused from his scribing to lift his head up and smile. 

"It was a pleasure to see you, Raphael, as always." 

"Good day and tidings, Auriel, the pleasure was mine." 

"I shall see you later, Ulcinin?" 

Before I could reply Raphael spoke for me. "Oh yes; Metatron has his table waiting for his return." 

"Excellent," Auriel said agreeably, and craned his head down back to his work.

When we left and descended the stairs of Metatron, Raphael extended his wings fully behind himself so he didn't hit me. He gave them a few light swishes; even though the movement was negligible, the sheer size ruffled my hair. 

"Ah, that's better." 

"Why are your wings so large?" 

Raphael gave me a crinkle-nosed smile, before returning to its serene state. "My, you really are inquisitive." 

"Have I misstepped by asking?" 

"No," Raphael replied, his eyes unfocused as though he were in a waking dream, "it just amuses me vastly." 

He was weird. I decided right then this angel was weird. Raphael looked down at me then. 

"A proper introduction now; I am Raphael, one of the seven who hath been granted direct counsel with our Father, God. I watch over those who have wards. I wanted to meet you, Ulcinin, make sure everything is running smoothly between you and Mikha'el." 

"Oh," I said with a blink, genuinely surprised. "Er, yes." 

He looked down at me with his dreaming eyes. "Er, yes, or yes? Your reply sounded like a question." 

"Sorry." 

"Might I beseech upon you?" 

"Of course." 

"Do not apologize for such trivial things. In fact, unless you have purposely wronged an angel, you need not apologize to anyone for your actions, ever." 

I blinked. 

Raphael looked down at me with tranquility on his face. "Not only is it unbecoming, but it shall be perceived as a weakness for someone of your stature."

My stature? 

"Yes," he replied, "as a solider of the Lord." 

"Wait—did you just read my mind?" 

"Yes. It was not difficult; your thoughts are very loud." 

Oh crap. 

Raphael looked bemused. "Oh, my foul-mouthed angel. Has Mikha'el not explained to you in full your attributes?" 

I suppressed an annoyed sigh. I wondered just how many of my loud thoughts Mikha'el had heard in the week I had been in Heaven. 

"He has not, apparently. I knew of mind-reading but I wasn't aware I was being loud," I explained through clenched teeth. 

Raphael looked off to the side. "Ah. I had heard he was teaching you in unconventional ways, and it appears to be true. Unsurprising, for he is an unconditional angel whom I love dearly." 

I hadn't a clue how to reply. 

Raphael nodded to himself. "Soon you shall tap into your natural abilities; the power to heal others. To read their minds. To know the wants and desires of mortals and gently push them in directions that meet their goals, their wants, or your own." 

I remained quiet, chewing all this information. 

"Perhaps Mikha'el did not wish to overburden you with the knowledge of how powerful you are, and are to become." 

"Raphael." 

I stopped walking. Raphael took a few more steps before realizing I was no longer at his side, and he stopped as well, looking back at me. 

"Everyone keeps speaking about my potential and what I am to become. I don't understand. What am I to become? Why do I seem to…" Words failed me. 

Raphael gave his small smile. "Seem to be special? Seem to be chosen? It's because you are. Your destiny has been set, the path laid out before you, and it is one of greatness." 

"Funny," I mumbled, taking up walking again, "I don't remember anyone asking me if I wanted to be special." 

Raphael laughed and it sounded as sweet as bells in the far off distance. "No one made you whom you are, you simply are. And that is what is so astounding about you. You might not want to believe, but you are special, Ulcinin. You may be rough around the edges, but we know who you are in your soul." 

I frowned. "And who am I in my soul?" 

He spoke with conviction, nodding with each word, his brow slightly furrowed. "You are brave. Resourceful. Steadfast." His face softened once more and he looked at me, giving a small smile. "You are loyal. The lengths you would go to for what you believe is the right path are insurmountable. You have a pure heart. Simply put, you are a perfect angel." 

Once again I couldn't find words. This was all very hard for me to believe. I barely could remember my mortal life, but me? Special? I'm pretty sure I was an arrogant, womanizing bastard who used the fact I was a well-known gladiator to get what—and who—I wanted. Self-serving didn't seem very angelic to me. Thinking that, I frowned deeply. 

Raphael waved a dismissive hand. "Do not throw such emphasis over your sexual desires. The fact that Christians have declared the path to salvation involves celibacy is absurd. God would not have imbued mortals with such needs, obsessions, and preoccupations if He had not wanted it as such. In fact, it was by His design that mortals are a bunch of horny bastards."

I stopped walking again. Then I busted out laughing. Raphael rolled his eyes, which just made me laugh more. 

"What I mean," Raphael continued, jerking his head to the side to signal me to keep walking. I fell into pace with him once more, "is that there are reasons for your sexual needs. Procreation, foremost. Then it is also a test of moral compass—which I herein would like to commend you for yours." 

"I don't—I don't understand—" 

"Promiscuous as you might have been," Raphael told me, "you never laid with a married woman. The one time a woman tricked you into bedding down with her and she was unfaithful, you immediately sought out her boyfriend and apologized. He severed contact with her immediately and thanked you, actually." 

"Oh," I said, swelling with pride. My wings even trembled a little. "I don't remember any of that." 

"I only know of it because Mikha'el told me after it happened. He thought it highly amusing when, after the adulterous woman left, the man then propositioned you—which you declined," he added hastily. 

Raphael put a hand on my shoulder. While I'm not exactly short myself, his stature was staggering. I was beginning to notice all natural angels were much taller than mortals and their once-mortal angels. "And of course you do not remember, dear Ulcinin. Humans who arrive in Heaven are stripped of their mortal memories." Before I could ask him why, he beat me to it. "It causes too much pain, too much yearning. It is especially detrimental when dealing with loved ones; if someone hasn't died yet, or if they are cursed to Hell, the angel becomes sad and misses their loved one. It's better to just sever that tie immediately."

I paused, feeling sad. Certainly there were people who were friends to me when I had died. Would I never see them again? 

"However, should two people know one another and come across each other in Heaven, they will remember and become friends or lovers once more." 

That made me happy. I wondered who, if anyone, I would meet. A thought occurred to me then, and I looked up at Raphael. "Why are you telling me all this?"

He smiled kindly. "I am the one who watches over guardian angels. You are very important, so I wanted to check in, get your opinion on how things are progressing." 

I didn't fail to hear the undercut of anxiety in the archangel's voice. 

"It's—fine," I gritted out. 

Raphael rose an eyebrow. "Ulcinin. You do understand you cannot lie, correct?" 

I sighed, briefly wiping a disgruntled hand over my face. "Mikha'el can be harsh." 

"Oh dear," Raphael responded, crossing his arms with his index finger pressed to his right cheek, "I was afraid of that." 

"You were?" 

"Yes. Out of the seven archangel's he is the most—ah—volatile." 

I snorted and mumbled, "That's putting it nicely."

Raphael grabbed my arms and turned me to him. The look of sheer panic startled me. "He hasn't hurt you, has he?" 

I laughed, rubbing the back of my neck. "No."

Raphael sighed in relief. 

"Not directly, anyway." 

Raphael looked like he might become angry. "Explain." 

When I was done, the archangel Raphael looked weary. "Yes, well, unfortunately he is not wrong in his actions. You must be prepared for anything. Quickly, too. There is an open position waiting for you as soon as your training is complete. Be that as it may, however, I shall speak with him about not breaking you. "

The last two words were said in bitter annoyance. An overwhelming urge to comfort this angel swept over me, and I smiled at him. "No one is breaking me. I'm fine. I'm hearty, remember?" 

After a moment, Raphael smiled and fluttered his wings. “Come, there is something I must show you.”

Intrigued, we walked through the winding paths of Heaven. I still didn’t understand any of it, but everyone was outright bowing to Raphael. It surprised me; everyone was cordial towards Mikha’el, but I noticed people looked almost fearful of the angel at my side.

“You are not incorrect in your astute observations,” Raphael said suddenly, causing me to jump. “They do fear me. As they should.”

I stared up into his face. “And should I fear you as well, Raphael?”

Raphael gave a wicked grin then. “That is yet to be seen.”

I couldn’t tell what to make of that statement, and it sent a shiver of disquiet over me. 

The path I was led down grew unkempt, verdant grass growing at either side. It wasn’t far until wildflowers, mostly brilliant shades of yellows, began to intermingle with the grass. My still mortal-thinking mind was shocked at grass growing out of clouds. A bit further down this empty, serene, winding path and trees started to grow. Deeper yet, our heads were covered by bending branches, pleasant sunlight filtering through the trees. I watched in awe as a cascade of prismatic golden light hit Raphael’s face, geometric shapes playing on his striking features.

By the time we reached our destination, the first signs of incoming twilight began to present themselves. The sun had turned from a glowing yellow into a bright golden disc, colors of magnificent oranges shimmering and making the sun darker. With it, the clouds began to shift; still white, but that soft, dreamy, grayish white that heralded the coming night.

There was a trundle. Two angels, a man and a woman, bowed deeply to Raphael, and then scurried out of our way. Weeping willow branches partially covered the arch as a sort of door. At either side sat two stone benches, currently empty. Smiling, Raphael strode before me and gently lifted the branches to allow myself easy access. I hesitated, strangely uneasy. Raphael didn’t speak, simply continued to smile and nodded into the enclosure. Without another thought, I bravely stooped through the trundle.

It was a rather small area, perhaps the size of a modern, large living room. I was surprised when we were completely walled in by a thick growth of trees. The area was circular, polished gray stones aligning the perimeter of where the grass butted up against the treeline. It was slightly unnerving, this literal wall of trees. Thus far if I wasn’t enclosed in a building, I had grown used to the expansion of Heaven. Being contained suddenly felt wrong, and I had an acute stab of claustrophobia. 

“Come,” Raphael said gently, sensing my unease. He took me by the elbow and began to guide me gently further into the clearing. “Come, come.”

In the middle of this was a large pool of water. It too was surrounded by large polished stones. Hanging over it was another weeping willow, its leaves which seemed to gently caress the water. Small ripples ran throughout, as though there were a breeze. Off to the right was another stone bench, currently empty.

“What’s this?” I asked the angel as he led me over to the pool.

“This is a scrying pool of The Surface.” 

As he led me over, we stopped just along the lip. When I moved to peer into the glassy water, he gently tucked his finger beneath my chin and made me look at him instead.

“Before you look, my dear, inquisitive Ulcinin, I must bestow upon you what exactly it is you are looking upon.”

I tried to shift my eyes over but, fearing him, shifted them back just as quickly. “Alright.”

“This is a sacred pool, a looking well of which not every angel has access to.” 

He paused. Clearly he wanted me to speak. The expression on his face was one of inquisitive patience, and I suddenly understood this was a test; a test I was not prepared for.

“Er, am I allowed to be here?”

His mouth twitched into a small smile, yet still he said nothing.

“Am I allowed to be here because you’re here?”

A smile, but then a frown. He folded his arms behind his back.

I thought, looking off to the side. When I spoke it was slowly and carefully. “I am allowed to be here…but not just because of you.” I looked at him, and his expression had gone blank. It made me nervous, but I ploughed ahead anyway. “Although I will not be allowed here by myself for some time.” A nervous pause, and I knew how hopeful I looked. “Is that it?” 

To my relief, Raphael smiled upon me. “Yes. I am pleased you muddled through all that and came to the correct conclusion. 

“Now,” my current teacher explained, and I looked at him though I was itching to look into the pool. “There are seven of these pools throughout Heaven. Only guardian angels have access to these, or Teacher of the Guardians, such as myself. The last of these pools, the final, seventh one,  is forbidden to but a small handful of angels.”

“Why?” I asked immediately. 

Raphael smirked. “My, you really do speak without holding your tongue.”

I tilted my head to the side. “Is that a bad thing?”

Raphael paused, then smiled slyly. “Not now, no. Yet it might cause you trouble, one day.”

I frowned.

“Now, as I was saying. Eventually, you too will have access to all seven pools.”

That surprised me. I thought back to how I was special, and that thought made me uncomfortable. I decided to press my luck. Narrowing my eyes, I asked yet again, “Why?”

“That, my friend, is not something I am permitted to tell you.”

I nearly rolled my eyes. Catching myself, I wasn’t sure if Raphael would take too kindly to such a flippant gesture. He noticed my internal struggle, I guess, because he laughed at me.

“Patience is a virtue. Mikha’el will tell you all in due time. Now, however, why don’t you gaze into the depths of the piscina?”

Finally. Eagerly I looked down into the crystalline water. However, what met my gaze was not what I expected. In fact, the visage I saw upset me so greatly I was reduced to tears. Raphael watched the shifting emotions play out over my face, and frowned deeply when the first tears fell. Embarrassed, yet also feeling angry so it didn’t matter whether he saw my weakness or not, I looked up into his face.

“I would like to go home now,” I told him quietly. 

And as the sun set, that’s exactly what we did.