I had been thrown backwards toward the open cellar. I looked over, and nearly burst into tears right then and there. 

Cowering in a corner was an angel. She was filthy and completely naked. Black hair—uncut, stringy from excessive oil—hung over her sallow face. Her eyes appeared freakishly large against her gaunt features, sunken in deeply. They were dark and shimmered in absolute terror. 

Her wings were in a terrible state. Dirty, matted, many of her feathers clearly plucked out. In her arms she cradled another angel. I couldn't see him, not only covered by his own, untouched wings in fright, but also partially covered by what was left of Malael's wings. 

All at once I noticed something horrifying. They had attached a piece of metal over her mouth so she couldn't speak. They had hammered in on, and the edges looked deeply infected. 

I looked back for what could have caused the shockwave that knocked everyone down. A woman with raven black hair, bright purple eyes, and huge, six black wings, stood there. She wore ornate armor, wicked looking. It had been painted purple, every edge and seam pointed so sharp they looked like claws. The entire piece was rimmed with red. In her gauntleted hands, which were fierce and made the same way, she held her helmet. It reminded me immediately of the one I wore as a gladiator, only hers was purple with a long black plume sprouting from the top. 

Her eyes locked onto me immediately. "Ah. You must be Ulcinin." 

Without warning she charged at me. She was quick, just as quick as angels. In literally a blink she was before me, sword raised to slaughter me. I cowered and crossed my arms over my head. 

The blow never came, though. 

Confused, I peeked out. I then let out a cry of shock and stood to my full height. 

Raguel stood in front of me. Through his back, coming out the center of his wings, was a sword dripping in blood. I immediately burst into tears. 

Raguel dropped his sword. In a flash, his wings turned pure white. 

"You…bitch."

Raguel dropped to his knees. 

I don't remember anything after that. The only thing I remember is hearing a strange sound. It was loud, painful. Something was screaming. It was a peculiar sound, cross between a crowing bird and a dolphin all at once. It was multi-layered, bringing to mind a ripple in a pool of water. Yes—it was a wave of sound, not dissimilar to the sonic boom that had knocked everyone down. 

Besides that? 

Nothing. 

~

When I regained consciousness, the first thing I felt was a stabbing, near unbearable pain in the center of my forehead. I moaned loudly, praying for death. Instead, two fingers pressed against my head. A cooling sensation washed over me, and the pain was miraculously gone. I opened my eyes slowly, bracing myself for light. 

There was light; it was very dim, though. I propped myself up on my elbow and looked around. I was in my room, on my bed. Torches illuminated the room. It had to have been very late, for the street was empty. 

"I'm happy you are awake." 

I turned my head right. Mikha'el sat in a wooden chair. His legs were sprawled out, shoulders slumped, chin against his chest so I only saw the crown of his head. His wings were limp, drooping. His elbows rested against his thighs, forearms and hands hanging between his legs. 

I had never seen him in that state. I was alarmed immediately. "Mikha'el?" 

He didn't say anything. Didn't even lift his head. The more I looked at him, the more I noticed what a mess he was. His hair, dirty, filled with what looked like soot. One arm sported a cut just below the shoulder, dried blood visible. His wings were flecked with ichor and blood. 

"What happened?" 

The archangel final lifted his head. His face was unlike I had ever seen it. It was smeared, covered in a mixture of dirt and blood. Two trails of nearly-clean skin ran from his eyes down to his chin. My lips parted. I wanted to scoop him into my arms, comfort him, but he also had seen something in his eyes I had never seen before, and it frightened me on an incomprehensible level. 

He looked violent, like a wild animal ready to maul anything the second it moved. 

Mikha'el chuckled bitterly. "You missed the service." 

He was really frightening me. "Service?" 

"For Raguel. He didn't make it." 

I gasped and immediately started crying. I shifted, got up on my knees and reached out to touch him. "Mikha'el, I am so—" 

Mikha'el held up his hand, and his eyes snapped with lightning. "Don't." 

I shrank away. Mikha'el got to his feet, laughing, arms outspread. "I have been waiting for you to wake up to tell you the good news!" 

I was frightfully confused. 

"Malael and her son were extracted with minimal casualties." Mikha'el let his arms drop to his side. 

"Oh…"

"Rest up, Ulcinin," Mikha'el said then, scrapping the chair against the floor loudly as he moved it out of his way. I watched sadly as he dragged himself to the door, all six wings dragging behind him. He stopped in the doorframe and smiled at me. It was genuine, it was sad. It made me want to fling myself off a cliff. "I'll see you soon." 

~

"Soon" was a bit of a misnomer. After he left, I had cried myself to sleep. When I woke up the following morning, I discovered pulling myself out of bed was impossible. Literally. 

At least, had I been mortal still, I would have had to get up to pee, to eat. With those no longer necessities, I didn't have any motivation to move. I half expected Mikha'el to come gather me for lessons, but he never showed to collect me. 

Day passed into night, and then passed back into day. After that, everything blurred together. I honestly couldn't tell you how many days on end I spent in my bed, moving only to adjust my wings every so often. I entered a state of just existing. 

Friends and colleagues came in and out. 

"There's nothing physically wrong with you," Raphael told me gently. 

"You should get some sunlight. Take a walk with me on The Surface. We can walk arm in arm, smell flowers," Indrajala told me. 

"We miss you," Gabriel told me bluntly. 

I will not cease checking in with you until I physically see you, Metatron told me strictly at one point. 

"It's not your fault, you know." 

I curled into a tight ball, shutting my eyes tightly against the archangels' words. I felt my bed sink as they sat on my bed. 

"We all miss him. But none of us hold you accountable." 

I sat up abruptly and screamed in Auriel's face, immediately hysterical. 

"You should! If I hadn't have been there, he wouldn't have stopped that Fallen angel–" 

"It was a trap, Ulcinin," Auriel said gently. 

I blinked in disbelief. 

"That woman? That was Meridian, the Noonday Demon. She was who Raguel Fell for." Auriel smirked bitterly. "Literally and figuratively." 

Auriel looked at me and continued to speak. 

"She was the one who told us where they were keeping Malael. Raguel promised up and down we could trust her. That she wanted redemption, wanted back into Heaven. She thought if she freed Malael and her son, that it would be enough for redemption."

I noticed tears starting to gather in his eyes. I remained silent. 

"It took a full two years—two years—for us to trust her. The entire time she was feeding us bits and pieces of information, things to make her feel trustworthy." 

Auriel blinked and the first tears fell. He tilted his head back and looked at the ceiling. Laughing bitterly, he shook his head. 

"He loved her so much—so much. That's why his wings were so light that day. He believed he was doing the right thing. We all thought we were doing the right thing. And I believe that's why, for just a second, his wings turned full white. When she killed him, he knew he should not have strayed. "

He looked at me, face a mess of tears and rage. 

"He knew she had betrayed him. He knew he had made a grave error, leading us into a trap. So in his final living moment, he finally found pure redemption. But it was too late."

Auriel's eyes hardened, and I knew that look. It was the same look Mikha'el had when he was angry. It was the look of righteousness, of determination. It was the look of someone hanging desperately onto the final threads of calmness before they burst and released the monster a true angel could be. He was visibly shaking. 

"It was too late, Ulcinin, and she slaughtered my brother. She slaughtered him, so now I am going to hunt her down like the vile vermin she is, and I am going to slaughter her." 

I was too afraid to speak. Auriel got to his feet and stared down at me. His voice was low and quivering. 

"So no, Ulcinin. No one in Heaven blames you. If anything we are grateful. Had it not been for you, we would have suffered more casualties ten fold, I am certain." 

"What do you mean?" 

Auriel put his hand on my shoulder. I could physically feel the raw pain and sadness flow down his arm into my body. Worse, I honestly don't think he even meant to. 

"Ulcinin—I will explain it to you when you have rested, and I have more of a composure." 

Auriel bent over and kissed my brow. It lingered, and he whimpered softly. The sound killed me. I had never heard a sound so mournful in my life. Auriel straightened then, wiping off his face in his sleeve. He forced a smile at me. 

"Ulcinin, please come out of hiding. You have done nothing wrong. We miss you. I also beg for your forgiveness. I am truly, desperately sorry I was angry at you and refused to speak. It was childish, and I forgot how fickle and fleeting life can be." 

Without another word, Auriel left, red robes sweeping behind him.