Ulcinin. There are things we must discuss privately.

Metatron's eyes had appeared right above the ornate, wood carved archway that greeted people upon arriving. Auriel's desk sat a few feet behind the archway, meaning, anyone at or behind Auriel's large desk would not be able to see what I saw.

The voice had been inside my head. It was a voice I had never heard. I knew immediately who it was though. I was so surprised that I literally tripped and fell to my knees, my parchment, books, and quills for the days studies flying across the marble floor. I let out a grunt when my chin smacked against the floor, teeth clacking together roughly. Auriel picked his head up.

"Are you alright?" he asked me smoothly. They were the first words he had spoken to me since that day, and I could tell he was trying to void his voice of any concern.

I could feel my face turn bright red. I picked up my things, adjusted my hair that had started to need a haircut, and glared. As I walked past, Auriel sighed heavily, and mumbled,

"Graceful as ever..."

Ignore him, Metatron spoke again, and I gritted my teeth at the unfamiliar intrusive thoughts. Follow me. We need to speak in private.

I gave a nod, not knowing how else to acknowledge Metatron. I worried if I spoke out loud it would draw attention, and he wanted privacy. I also didn't want anyone to think I was talking to myself.

So, I wordlessly followed Metatron. His face appeared every so often against the wall, or against the bookshelves, so I knew where to go. By the time we stopped, he had led me into the deepest recesses of the library, where no sound penetrated. That first discussion with him was unnerving; silence punctuated with me speaking. It was strange, something that I thought I'd never get used to at the time.

May I see the book I gave to you, the one that called to you?

I pulled it out immediately.

I am going to take it from you temporarily, Metatron said, and I thought it was courteous of him to warn me before the book floated out of my hands and opened seemingly of it's own accord. The pages flipped, and I was momentarily startled when I saw the words glowing a faint blue-all of them. Whenever I spied the book, the words were mercurial, showing me only what I read, the rest of the pages blank.

What have you garnered from this thus far?

I swallowed. Trying to seem nonchalant, I leaned against the heart bookshelf and crossed my arms. "Secrets of the universe."

Such as, child?

I glared at the serene eyes. "Don't call me child."

I apologize, Metatron said, and it caught me off guard how sincerely he spoke. Please tell me what you have learned.

"A lot of ways to kill angels, how to hurt them. How to bleed their grace from them. How to trap them, entangle them magically."

And the tears?

I paused, an unsettling shiver raking over my body. "Angel tears are-dangerous. To have them gives absolute power over them. Most spells of binding won't even work without the tears."

And why, pray tell, do you think this book called to you, the Book of Undoing?

Ah, so it had a name. I shifted uncomfortably on my feet. "I..."

Yes?

I looked away, annoyed. "I don't know."

To be able to fulfill the path that which has been laid before you, you must understand how you can be hurt. You must understand that which might hurt you. With this knowledge you can guard against such things.

I didn't say anything, merely watched Metatron from the corner of my eye.

You must understand that everyone here knows you. They at least know of you. Metatron blinked. My brothers are too polite to say this, but I feel compelled to warn you. Not all in Heaven are your friends, nor do they hold your best interests at heart.

My lips parted.

Many are jealous of you and your status. A powerful angel that is not even a full-fledged seraphim? It is unheard of. Whilst many envy you, there are few who would actually act upon that jealousy. However, there are a few.

I glared. "Raguel."

No, Metatron said gently. My brother is a lot of things-murderer he is not.

"But he's Fallen!"

Metatron narrowed his eyes. How did you know that?

I smirked. "Guess."

Metatron rolled his eyes. I will have a word with Mik...

"Please don't," I said, panicking. "I coerced it out of him, asking about his wings, and-"

Metatron chuckled. Your devotion to Mikha'el amuses me.

"Oh?"

Nevermind. The point is, rough as he may be, Raguel has nothing but your best interests at heart. If it were to come down to it, he would lay down his life for you.

I found that hard to believe. However, Metatron had been nothing but kind to me, so I didn't want to be a jerk and argue further.

The book stopped floating, and I grabbed it before it hit the ground. I looked at it, then up at Metatron.

"Why does everyone seem surprised I have this book?"

Few even know of its existence. Even fewer would be able to read it, even if they found it. Most archangels do not even know, but upon seeing it would know exactly what it is. Angelic abilities; they would still have to read it's contents, but the overall context would be known to them.

I paused, a shudder rolling over me. "Metatron..."

Yes, Ulcinin?

"This is the only book of its kind, correct?"

For a long while, Metatron didn't answer. The eyes stared off to the side, and I felt like if he had a full face he would be worrying his bottom lip. Finally his eyes shifted back to me.

There have been many wars and skirmishes since Lucifer Fell from grace. Some items were-lost.

"Lost?"

Stolen.

"Ah, I see." I paused. "Metatron-if this book is so important, so dangerous, why were there two?"

Redundancy. So the knowledge is not lost.

I didn't say anything. When Metatron spoke, he sounded embarrassed.

That absconded book is the reason I am in the current state I am in.

"What do you mean?"

Metatron chuckled. I wasn't always a library. Well, I still am not.

I felt my eyes widen.

My physical form is next to God. His hand rests eternally on my shoulder, and I import his knowledge into these books, scrolls, and tablets. I delegate who has what, and who records it. I used to record it myself, however, after this library's breach, God thought it wiser for me to protect it more directly.

I cocked an eyebrow. "So you became a library."

Metatron chuckled. So I became a library. He paused. Also, God resting His hand is somewhat metaphorical. He very rarely takes on any sort of physical form.

All this was largely fascinating. Most of it I knew, to an extent, but the fact that Metatron had taken time away to explain everything to me, well...It was amazing and confounding all at once.

"Metatron," I asked softly, "why are you telling me all this? I appreciate the honesty, but it surprises me. None of the other archangels have been so up-front." I couldn't help but glare to the side. "In fact, if any of them were in possession of The Book of Undoing, I am almost certain none of them would have given it to me, much less let me know it existed."

I am inclined to agree with you. However, I largely do not agree with how you are being handled, and I would like to help you as much as possible. I understand the general trepidation surrounding your powers but I feel like it was a gross negligence to deny you your powers. A powerful angel withheld from his celestial gifts is just gross. It would be like sheering the wings from a bird. It's just wrong.

I paused once more, thinking, bringing my hand to my mouth. Finally I raised my eyes.

"Metatron...do you fear retribution for disobeying God?"

The archangel sounded amused. Pray tell, how do you think I have displayed disobedience?

"As I said, everyone has been careful with telling me what, when-"

Child-Ulcinin, he corrected when I glared. What I am about to impart on you is not to be taken lightly. There is a fine line between what I am going to tell you and actual disobedience.

I was intrigued and now fully invested, listening with rapt attention.

I do not fear the wrath of our Father because He did not specifically tell me how I should interact with you, once you and I were able to communicate. My brothers, yes. However, as I'm sure you noticed, even Mikha'el found a work-around to gift you your abilities.

"So...semantics. You're talking about semantics."

I could tell Metatron was grinning. Correct.

"Wait-if God is metaphorically right next to you, does He know what we're saying?"

Yes. Do not be alarmed, he said then with a chuckle. He knows of these semantics.

"And he allows them?"

Of course. Angels are of free will. Obviously He would prefer us to stay on the holy path He has laid before us, but He isn't going to stop us from making mistakes, especially since most are not grievous enough to condone an angel being Expelled and Falling. That is, after all, how creatures learn from their mistakes.

"But Mikha'el said after Lucifer Fell that angels were stripped of their free will. I don't understand."

Yes and no. It is true we are bound to God's plan. It is true that, as an angel, we must fully invest ourselves fully to the deed. Yet at the same time we are not mindless drones that He controls utterly. God gives us a task, we respond. Most angels do not question it. Sort of like a hired hand, or a slave-your boss or owner tells you to do something, and you do it because it is expected of you. However, just like the worker or the slave, you don't HAVE to actually do ANYTHING. A worker could simply walk off the job. But-

"There are consequences," I muttered. "A worker would be fired for job abandonment, and a slave would be beaten if not outright killed."

I undoubtedly felt the presence of Mikha'el suddenly. It was yet another thing I had to get used to with my powers. Being able to sense the presence of specific angels was a bit unnerving. I took in a sharp little gasp.

"Mikha'el just arrived, hasn't he?"

Yes. I have concealed our exact location. He knows you're in here, but he does not know where.

I cocked an eyebrow. I could feel Metatron's smile.

I am enjoying this discussion with you. I will allow our presence to be known shortly. Before then, however, might you have any questions for me?

"Metatron," I heard Mikha'el call. I was surprised when he sounded so close already. Metatron, reading my mind, answered.

He is transporting himself around the library. It is something you shall learn to do. There are two ways which angels travel-via their wings and by transportation. Transportation is only slightly faster, usually used as Mikha'el is now-to pop in and out of a large area. As I said, however, it is not that much faster than most angels fly, so-

"Metatron," I heard Mikha'el again, this time farther away. "Come now, don't be a prat."

Have you any questions for me?

I could tell he was giving me a cheeky smile, evidently having fun through messing with Mikha'el. I gave his question serious thought then. Did I have any questions? A sly smile grew on my face.

"You said that I should not trust all angels because not all of them have my best interest at heart; are you an angel I should not trust?"

Metatron laughed merrily at that, a deep, thick laughter. He sounded so delighted, and I got the distinct impression that he hadn't laughed so heartily in awhile.

I was hoping your line of thinking would come across that conclusion. I should have known, you are smart. But no, dear Ulcinin. I am not someone to fear. In fact, I am quite fond of you.

My wings twitched. "Oh?"

Yes. I apologize for calling you 'child'-I mean it as a term of endearment, not meant in disparage. You are like my child to me.

That made me balk in laughter. "I barely know you!"

Yes, but I know you. Don't forget, Ulcinin, you have been within my library, daily, for over a year now.

I wanted to be pissed that he had been studying me while I, well, studied. I couldn't. I knew in my heart of hearts he didn't mean to be creepy about it.

"Metatron!" Mikha'el's voice rang out, closer again. "This isn't funny!"

Alright, I shall make our exact location known. However, I must bequeath a final truth upon you.

"Oh?"

Part of why God allows these semantics is because, while He would never admit it, He is not infallible. He knows that sometimes His actions might be foolish, or might lead to some evil, or even that a situation might be handled in a better, more thorough way.

I was shocked.

However; to think or act like you are better than God is blasphemous, and I strongly dissuade you from such actions or thoughts. Never say, nor imply that, in His presence, either.

Within seconds, Mikha'el appeared. He looked pissed. Putting both fists on his hips, he glared up at Metatron. "What did you do that for?"

I wanted to speak with Ulcinin.

"About?! There are things to do, Metatron, schedules to uphold-"

I merely wanted to make Ulcinin's acquaintance, now that he and I can communicate.

Mikha'el eyed him suspiciously. "What did you speak about?"

Is that your business?

He looked taken aback for a moment. "He is my ward! So yes, it is my business. I need to make sure you're not corrupting him."

Metatron rolled his eyes, not even trying to hide the biting edge to his voice that made him sound offended. And what, Mikha'el, would I corrupt him with? I'm not Raguel. Don't be a prick.

Mikha'el's mouth dropped open, and his hands fell to his side. "Metatron!"

Metatron glared. If you wish not to be called a prick, do not fling outlandish accusations. You should know better.

Mikha'el sighed and suddenly looked deeply embarrassed. "You're right. I'm sorry, Metatron. Truly."

Hmph.

The eyes disappeared. Mikha'el sighed.

"Metatron. Metatron? Come on, Metatron?"

"You deserved that, you know," I dared to say.

Mikha'el rounded on me. Glaring, he shook my ear gently. "Shush, you. C'mon, let's go study."

As we walked, Metatron's eyes appeared. He made sure only I saw him. He gave a smile and a wink, and then disappeared once more.