"We shouldn't be doing this…"

"And yet you're here. No one is forcing you to participate, Auriel." 

Auriel gave a noncommental hum. 

We were in a room I had never been in. Honestly it was gaudy, with it's golden and white walls, overly intricate molding that held no purpose besides being intricate. Murals were splashed on the walls and ceilings, depicting various parts of Heaven. I was bemused when many of the archangels were depicted, with Mikha'el seeming to be the focal point. 

"Is it strange for you?" I asked, turning to them. 

Auriel crossed his arms and spoke flatly. "Is what?" 

Mikha'el chuckled. "Forgive my ward—he often speaks mid-thought, and then has to fill you in on the other half."

I felt myself blush. Even so, I looked at Auriel. "Seeing your likeness everywhere—as busts, statues—in paintings." 

Auriel raked his eyes around the room. "Hmmm. Yes, I do suppose we are sort of everywhere, aren't we?" 

Mikha'el shrugged. "Honestly I don't even notice it now." 

Auriel uncrossed his arms and took a step forward. "Lets begin this, shall we?" 

I suddenly became nervous. Both Auriel and Mikha'el began to walk around me in slow even circles. 

"Have you ever done this?" Auriel asked Mikha'el, putting his index finger to his chin. 

"No—never." 

Auriel snorted and rolled his eyes. "No, of course you haven't." 

"Does that really surprise you?" Mikha'el quipped cynically. 

Auriel sighed heavily. "No, I suppose it doesn't. I was just hoping for different." 

I was now rightly sweating. The pair stopped, Mikha'el at my back, Auriel at my front. 

"Is this going to hurt? Like my naming?" 

"It shouldn't," Auriel told me with a smile. He took a step forward, rubbing my arms up and down. "Relax." 

"Relax. Right. Relax."

Auriel smirked and then surprised me by placing a kiss to my forehead. Much like the electric sensation I felt whenever Mikha'el touched me, I felt something with Auriel. It was the same and different all at once. The same shudder came over me, but instead of a sort of tingle there was a near-uncomfortable warmth spreading throughout my body from where his lips had brushed my brow. He seemed just as startled as I was, for he pulled away, eyes wide. 

"Oh." 

I was thoroughly confused. 

"He's delightful, isn't he?" Mikha'el spoke behind me. 

"He's like water," Auriel breathed, seeming to be dazed. 

"What?" I asked, twisting around to face Mikha'el. I pressed my hand to my chest. "Me?" 

Auriel seemed to slam back into his body. "Mikha'el. That might help us, actually!" 

I turned back to Auriel, starting to get annoyed. "Help with what?" 

They began to circle me again. I was relieved when Mikha'el laughed. 

"Truthfully we have no idea what we're doing," he said. 

"Our abilities are so fundamental we never really thought on how to summon it all," Auriel said. 

"It just is there," Mikha'el explained. 

"But, as I'm sure you noticed," said Auriel, "when my lips touched your skin, you felt something, correct?" 

"Yes," I replied, looking at him as he walked in front of me, and then past me. "It felt—warm. Very warm." 

"And with me?" Mikha'el asked. 

"I feel like I'm vibrating sort of. Or like when you rub your clothes against something and touch something metal. It's like that. Tingly sort of. A bit soft." 

Auriel laughed. I couldn't help but glare. He smacked me in the back of the head, glaring back. 

"Don't glare at me," he said sharply. 

I was hurt. Obviously not physically. "Sorry."

"I was laughing because I thought your describing Mikha'el's essence as tingly and soft endearing and sweet." 

"His essence?" 

"I'm surprised Gabriel wasn't granted ward over Ulcinin, given his affinity," Mikha'el muttered. 

"Look," I snapped, finally unable to contain myself. "I still don't understand anything, and you're speaking in riddles around me. May we get on with this, please?" 

"Maybe him being your ward makes sense," Auriel said darkly, and it made Mikha'el laugh. 

I growled in annoyance.

"Alright, alright," Mikha'el said, standing in front of me. "Calm yourself." 

I fluttered my wings, crossed my arms, and pursed my lips. 

"Definitely yours," Auriel said under his breath to the side of me. 

Mikha'el ignored him. 

"Out of the seven main archangels—for there are actually many of us—there are four whom are tasked with substantially—" 

"More burdensome," Auriel interrupted. 

Mikha'el shot him a glare, then looked back at me. "—more salient duties." 

"Meaning?" I tapped my foot. 

Auriel looked at Mikha'el. "My, he is a spry one, isn't he?" 

Mikha'el ignored him. "All of God's blessings and creations follow patterns. One of Metatron's duties and responsibilities is the keeper of the Cube—it's the paradigm for literally everything." 

Auriel cleared his throat. 

"Yes yes, sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. Point is, there are four points of everything, and four elements. I watch over the South and oversee it's winds, and my associated element is fire. 

"Auriel here," he gestured to him, "is the wind of the North, and he reflects the earth. Raphael is the air of the East, and Gabriel is the waters of the West." 

"Uh-oh. Looks like he's thinking about something, Mikha'el." 

"Shut up," I told Auriel with a smile to let him know I too was jesting. Auriel crinkled his nose and laughed. 

"You said I felt like water," I said, mind working furiously. "But Mikha'el, I don't understand. I feel like you and Auriel are switched, then?" 

They looked at one another. "How so?" 

"When you touched me, Auriel, I felt warm, like fire. But Mikha'el said his element is fire—so shouldn't he be the one who feels warm to the touch?" 

"Oh! That. The way our essence presents itself is more affiliated with our duties rather what elements we preside over." Auriel put his hand to his chest. "I might be of the earth, but I am known as the flame of God. Mikha'el here is all-powerful. A fighter, a leader, a general. Deities of such strength are often associated and given the power over lightening—look no further than Zeus." 

"So that's why I make you…tingle," Mikha'el said. 

Auriel snorted. Loudly. 

Mikha'el whipped his head at him. "What?" 

Auriel grinned. "You make your ward tingle, Mikha'el." 

Mikha'el shoved him, yet grinned. "Grow up, Auriel." 

"Fine." Auriel turned to me. "Since you are a Destroyer and have the ability to slip through realities, that's probably why you feel mercurial." 

I nodded. "Makes sense." 

"What to do, what to do…" Mikha'el said, tapping his forefinger against his lips. 

"What if we lay hands on him? He can innately feel our essence, which is an angelic ability." Auriel shrugged. "So perhaps immersion will help him tap into and understand his abilities?" 

Mikha'el shrugged as well. "I literally don't know what else to do, so yes, excellent idea, Auriel." 

Though he tried to conceal it, I saw Auriel's wings give the slightest tremble at the compliment. I was relieved that I wasn't the only one who turned into a shuddering mess whenever Mikha'el gave me praise. It must have been his status as Archangel Primus that made his adorations so meaningful. 

All at once, Mikha'el and Auriel each placed a hand on my shoulder. It was the strangest sensation; my eyes grew huge. My right arm felt aflame, but not painfully so, while my left was prickling. Both shot through my arms, my limbs, before finally coming to entanglement in my chest. That sensation, of Mikha'el power entwined with Auriel's, began to mix and tug at something within my own chest. 

All at once I panicked. It wasn't even an emotional panic—I was engulfed with the feeling that something was wrong, something bad would happen, that something wasn't right—my ears were ringing, and I was falling, falling, falling into some sort of abyss where all sensations were too much, it was all too much—

My eyes snapped open. I was confused, unsure when I had shut them. I was further confounded when I apparently was flat on my back with Mikha'el and Auriel looking down at me, utterly besides themselves with worry. 

"Oh thank God," Auriel whispered with a distraught sigh. He looked rather pale. 

"Are you alright?" Mikha'el asked, gingerly taking my elbow and hand and helping me sit up. He looked just as rattled, but not like he was about to pass out. 

"I thought we had killed you," Auriel still whispered. 

"Killed me?" And I wasn't sure why, but that thought that they had killed me was so preposterous it made me laugh. I shook my head. "It's going to take much more than that to kill me, Auriel." 

Any and all worry leapt off Auriel's face, and he rolled his eyes heavily. "Ah, good as new I see. Come on then, let's get you on your feet." 

Even though Mikha'el just had one hand on my skin directly, it still hurt where he held my arm, feeling akin to rubbing a rug burn. When Auriel touched my hand to steady me because I swayed on my feet, I screamed. They both jolted and pulled away, looking freaked out. 

"S-sorry," I said, unsure why my teeth were chattering. "Just—one touch at a t-time, alright?" 

Auriel looked at Mikha'el, not even masking his worry. "Maybe this is wrong. Maybe—maybe we shouldn't be doing this–" 

"Do it," I said. "Just—one of you touch me though, please." 

"We don't want to hurt you, Ulcinin," Auriel tried to argue, but I cut him off with a glare. 

"Do it." 

Auriel hesitated, but then reached out—

I didn't even remember him touching me that time, nor all the horribly overwhelming sensations. I just suddenly was in the same splayed out position again with my friends looming over me, looking intensely worried. 

I growled and sat up. My head swam and I nearly passed out again. Mikha'el reached out to steady me, but I glared. I honestly didn't think I could stand his touch. 

"Ulcinin," Auriel implored, "I really, really think we should stop this. We can try again tomorrow—" 

"No." 

"What do you mean, no?!" 

"I said no!" 

"Ulcinin," he cried out, "we're hurting you!" 

"I'm fine," I snapped. 

"Your nose is bleeding," Mikha'el pointed out in a soft voice. 

"What? My nose it not—" 

I wiped my nose and it came away with a streak of blood. I looked down at myself, watching as splatters of my blood bloomed on my off-white toga. 

"Oh…"

"I think tomorrow—" 

I lost my temper. My eyes felt hot for a second. "This is my God given rite of passage, Auriel! I want to do this now, and I will not be put off a moment more!" 

Auriel's mouth dropped open. "Oh my." 

"What?" 

He glanced at Mikha'el. "Nothing, it's—" 

"What, Auriel?" 

"Your eyes are glowing brilliantly," Mikha'el told me gently. 

And like that they extinguished, a sensation I would get used to. They become cool, like someone running water gently over my eyes. I blinked. 

Mikha'el sort of smirked. "Well, they were." 

"I think you startled him out of it," Auriel said quietly. 

"I think that as well." 

I got to my feet, wiping off my backside and wiping off my bleeding nose. I probably looked horrible, blood smeared all over me. "Well—come on. Again." 

"Ulcinin, please—" Auriel started to plead, looking near tears. 

"Let him do it," Mikha'el said in a low voice. 

Auriel looked like he was panicking. "But—" 

"Auriel," Mikha'el said, utterly annihilating any emotions from his voice. "It is his choice. Let him do it if he wishes." 

"Mikha'el—!" 

"I said let him do it!" Mikha'el screamed. 

Before he even let anyone blink, Mikha'el reached out, touched my forehead, and everything went black with a deafening whooshing sound in my ears. 

I dreamed. I dreamed I was floating in the expansion of the universe. It was strangely loud—a pulsing all around me, a drum beat that reverberated my entire body. I felt like I was swimming, trying to get back somewhere, but… I was clueless as to where. 

All I knew was this maddening pull, this urge to go faster. Yet I couldn't. As I floated along the cold unyielding empty of space, with all of it's glittering stars, colossal galaxies, and terrifying suns…It's wondrous black holes, it's infinite planets of all different colors…Floating through rifts of gasses, blues, teals, purples, browns…It's flashes of light as things exploded, crashed into one another, we're reformed… When a meteorite came so close I could smell it burning ozone…

I was lost. I was lost, and I had such a profound sense of homesickness it was crushing. Words cannot describe the anguish I felt floating, just floating. Just being. I was and yet I wasn't. I had a destination and yet didn't. And right as I started to accept it…to relax, give myself to the cold space that was nothing and everything at once…When I believed I would be stuck here, floating, for all eternity—

I was back. My eyes snapped open. Mikha'el was to my left, Auriel to my right. I clawed at them, desperate for air, taking in huge gulps of air like I had been drowning. Each breath ripped out of me, and it hurt. I felt like I hadn't breathed in a long while, and I was starved for it. The entire thing was upending, and I totally panicked. Nothing made sense—I was here, then I wasn't, then I was back and I was gasping for breath, yet I couldn't breathe—

"Breath," Raphael told me, and for the first time I realized he was there, crouching in front of me, his hand clasped behind my neck so I wouldn't topple backwards. 

I tried to breathe, but it just came out as an alarming, screeching wheeze. 

"Breath, breath," Raphael told me gently, rubbing the back of my neck with his thumb. 

I lunged forward and clawed at him desperately. He had to help me, he had to—"

Raphael pushed Mikha'el and Auriel away, gathering me up in his arms fully. Like a dim light in the far off distance I found myself feeling vaguely embarrassed when he began to rock me, enveloping us both within his massive wings. 

It was serene. Calming. He whispered to me, running his fingers through my sweaty hair over and over again. Within the cocoon of feathers, everything was muffled, everything was still. Raphael smelled good, like honey, pinetrees, and musk. It was all so soothing. 

"There you are," Raphael said once my breathing was even. He smiled, cupping my face within his hands. "Yes, there you are. Are you alright?" 

I felt like hell. I felt like my body had gone through a meat grinder and was slapdashed back together. Was I alright? I was anything but alright. 

But I would live. 

I took a deep breath. "Yes." 

Raphael looked like he didn't believe me. "Are you sure?" 

"Yes," I said with such conviction I believed it myself. 

Raphael unfurled his wings then, and I inadvertently winced at the sudden light. Then I scrambled to my feet, grateful when Raphael wordlessly steadied me. I look around the room. 

"What happened?" 

"I touched your forehead and as soon as I did, Auriel and I were thrown back," Mikha'el said. "You were—unresponsive. So we called for Raphael and he helped you."

My lips parted. "Did I die?" 

"No," Raphael said solemnly. "When an angel dies their bodies evaporate and become one with all things. Yet…there's no denying that something happened." 

"You might as well have been dead!" Auriel shouted suddenly. 

Guilt wracked my body when I looked at Auriel. I hadn't noticed he was upset. I felt my face crumple immediately. He stood there, openly weeping, looking like a scared child as he held his right arm tightly to his side with his left. 

"Auriel—" 

"No!" he screamed at me. "No! I don't want any part in this! It's wrong, and you could have been killed—" 

"But I wasn't!" I said desperately. 

"—and this is why I hate leaving Metatron!" 

Before anyone could open their mouth to speak, Auriel disappeared with a great gust of wind.