Day 20

I was still struggling with the death of George but I went into work. Of course I still struggled with a few places in the hospital but I managed to cope somehow.

Day 21

It's crazy how in the time span of 24 hours I can feel a bit stronger. I was working Arizona along with Alex. Arizona had this case that she couldn't quite work out.

"We tried pain meds, treated him for pyelonephritis, but it looks like it could be something more serious, so we did a CMG." Alex said telling Webber what we'd done so far.

"You did a CMG for a UTI? Why would you even look for something?" Webber asked Arizona.

"Because we were out of idea! The CMG was negative so we went back to a possible neurological cause. So if we could get a better look, if you could give us permission to get a 3D MRI, we could maybe, just possibly..." Arizona said to him before I cut in.

"Chief, the poor kid has been in the ER for four times in the last three weeks alone. And it's always because the pain meds aren't working. Why can't we- -" I started before Webber cut me off.

"Five thousand dollars, Y/l/n." He said to me.

"Sir?" Alex said in a question tone.

"That's how much either you, Y/l/n or Dr. Robbins will have to put to cover that scan. Otherwise, you can come with me to my board meeting this afternoon and explain why you're running this hospital like it's a charity." Webber said to us before leaving, Arizona than began to cry.

"Dude, are you crying?" Alex asked her.

"I have authority issues. Walk away, Karev and Y/l/n." She said to us before we both walked back over to our patient, today was gonna be a long day.

Day 22

Today Cristina, Mer and I were sitting with Iz while she was getting her chemo. We all had ice lollies except Iz. "These are good. Do they sell these in the cafeteria?" Cristina asked while walking over to the chair.

"No." Mer and I answered, I wished they did.

"No. Those are the cancer pops." Iz said to us, we should get surgeon pops.

"Why do cancer people get all the fun?" Cristina asked, I didn't know whether to take that comment seriously or not.

"How do you feel, Iz?" Mer asked her.

"Not looking forward to the hurling that's about to happen, but I feel ok, I feel good." She said to us, that was good. I mean not the hurling part.

"Bailey's on some sort of rampage. I think it's Post-O'Malley Stress Disorder." Cristina said before laughing. I looked down.

"She's not dealing with her grief." I said to her.

"You sound like Owen's shrink." Cristina said to me, she sounded like a good shrink.

"Owen's shrink is withholding sex. So she is grumpy and inappropriate." Mer said to us while looking at Cristina.

"Is Derek doing that, too? Withholding sex?" Iz asked Mer. That didn't make any sense.

"Why would Derek withhold sex?" Mer asked her in return.

"The guy I'm dating, he's not withholding sex but I guess we've been having sex with each other longer than our relationship." I said to them all before licking my lolly.

"Alex is withholding everything. It's like he's afraid, but I don't know what he's afraid of." Iz said to us, he probably didn't want to cause harm to her.

"He's afraid of the cancer sex." Cristina said openly.

"Cristina!" Me and Mer said at the same time.

"He doesn't want to end up with a cancer pop." She said to us.

"Cristina!" Mer and I said again.

"Just shut the hell up. I'm not contagious, Cristina." Iz said standing up for herself.

"I know that. I would totally have sex with you." Cristina said. Me and Mer looked at her. Callie texted me to say it was her first day at Mercy West. That only met that she would meet Jackson so I was hoping that he would keep his mouth shut about our relationship. Mainly because people would talk in the hospital.

Day 23

When I got to work I passed Amanda like usual. I never really understood why she would sit outside. Like usual I helped Arizona with her case. We referred her to Callie. Honestly I hated not doing ortho but I wasn't going to work with Dr. Chang. The guy was like a dinosaur. So instead I was working on other cases that weren't ortho. I'd heard a few rumours in the hospital but I'd just decided to ignore them. They were about how Derek might become chief. When shift ended I went to Jackson's place.

"So, how was work?" Jackson asked while pouring two glasses of wine.

"The same but I miss Callie. I hate not working on ortho." I said to him before taking a sip of wine. We both talked for a while before things got heated in a good way.

Day 30

It was currently nighttime and I was looking at the scans from the case. I heard my front door open. "Shh, I'm looking at something." I said to whoever it was, I had the scans displaying on my fridge. I then heard my door shut.

"So what are we looking at?" Jackson said making me jump.

"Scans from this case I've been working on, the kids in pain but there's no indication of what it is." I said to him, I heard another door creak open.

"Mummy I can't sleep, I'm having nightmares again." I heard Caleb say from behind us.

"I'll be there in a minute." I said to him.

"No, I need you now." He said to me.

"I've got it." Jackson said to me before kissing my temple. "Come on Bud." He said. Since the day I introduced both Caleb and Jackson, they got on well together which was so special to see.

Day 36

When I made it to work Arizona figured out what was wrong and went to request a scan from Derek. Once we started the CT Alex was pacing the room.

"Hmm. McDreamy." Arizona said with a smile.

"I'm sorry?" Derek asked her.

"I get it now. The whole, you know, the McDreamy thing. I didn't...I didn't get it before, but now...I get it. You know they call you that, right?" Arizona said to him, me and Alex exchanged a certain look with each other.

"Yes." Derek answered.

"I'm involved, by the way, in case you thought I was coming onto you, because I was not. Plus, I heard that you got married. So congratulations." Arizona said to him while smiling.

"Yes, thank you." Derek said before we all laughed.

"You wrote some hokey crap on a Post-It note in the resident's lounge. Sorry, but until you're sweating it out in a morning coat with a ball of white taffeta coming at you, you're not really married." Alex said making us laugh.

"Ok, well, I've consummated mine. I consummate mine all the time. How's that going for you, Karev? Girl's talk. You might wanna consider that next time you judge my Post-It." Derek said making me laugh. After the scan we found out he had a tethered spinal cord. Alex had to go to an appointment with Iz whilst I decided to do a coffee run because I was thirsty and exhausted from waking up early or not being able to sleep at all. I get nightmares sometimes about the state that George was in.

Day 37

We were fixing the spinal cord today. "I see contractions in the anterior tibialis." Alex told Derek.

"Ok. That's the nerve root, not the filum. Bipolars and the micro scissors, please." Derek said before the nurse handed the to him. "Wanna make the cut?" Derek asked Arizona.

"No. I don't need to." She responded, if I was her I would want to.

"You know, without you, this kid probably would've been a chronic pain patient, and possibly addicted to pain meds. He owes his entire future to you. You should make the cut. Ok?" Derek said before handing it over to Arizona. "Ok." He said again. "Put the scissor in..." Derek said before Arizona made the cut. "There. Nicely done." Derek said, we were all smiling. When the procedure was over it felt so relieving.

Day 39

It felt weird that George had been gone for 2 months and I was slowly getting over George. It felt good that I was finally getting better but it also hurt a little bit. After work I decided to go and see Jackson. "So, I have news. I feel like I'm slowly moving out of these grief cycle." I said to him while sitting in the counter.

"Now I am proud of you for getting to these point." He said while standing in the gap between my legs.

"But it still hurts a little because I feel like I'm getting over him and that hurts." I said while wrapping my arms around Jackson.

"But your not getting rid of him because he will always be there with you, even though you can't see him he's there." He said to me.

"I know but it just hurts. He was like my big brother and I didn't get to protect him. What makes it worse is they, um, they took the stuff out of his cubby hole and Mer and I just sat there and we cried." I said to him before crying again. Jackson didn't do anything except from hold me. "George died." I said before crying even more.

Day 40

We were all called to main lobby because Webber wanted to say something. "I know you all have heard a lot of rumors, and I'm sorry for that. Any what I'm about to say will be hard to hear, and I'm sorry for that as well. The economic climate is...You all know what it is. I'm the coming weeks, Seattle Grace Hospital will be merging with Mercy West." He said to us we all started murmuring, this couldn't be happening. "I wish I could tell you you'll all survive the merger, but there are only so many jobs. And the board and I have some tough choices to make. I'm on your side, people. I'm rooting for every one of you. All I can say is please, be at your very best." He said before walking down the stairs. Now, I was scared for my job, even more than I was before.