Chapter 49

"What?" I tried to be dumb when I heard what Justine said.

Pixie hugged me tight, I know she's pitying me right now and even I'm pitying myself because of this sudden news but I want to deny it when I looked at Justine who's eyes were saying sorry to me about the news.

"Tell me that's a joke!" I laughed and looked at the hallway, not wanting to see his pitying eyed.

"Miracle, he has cancer." He sighed.

"Where's he?" My voice cracked.

"He's being treated—"

"Tell me where is he!"

I immediately ran towards the room where Justine told me. I don't care how I look like a mess right now, my tears were loud as my breathing was fast, cursing inside my mind and asking why the hell is this happening to me.

When the door opened, I saw Aiden lying on the bed with ventilator and in a patient's attire. He immediately sat when he saw me and tried to remove the ventilator but I stopped him and immediately hugged him tight as I sobbed.

"How could you lie to me?!" I shouted as I sob.

His hands that were weak hugged me tight as I sobbed.

"I told you to eat!" I blamed him as I cried.

He tried to remove the ventilator again so he can talk but I stopped him and looked at him. He wiped my tears off but I'm not done yet, I spanked his hands.

"You're such a weakling! How can you develop cancer just by taking care of our daughter?!"

I saw how he chuckled lowly but it's a torturing sight. I'm already looking in tears and no matter how many times he wiped it off, it still is pouring down.

"I will forever hate you if you die!"

He nodded and wiped my tears once again with both his fingers.

"Ayah . . . you. I'll be insane if I lose both of you so please survive?"

He didn't nod, he just stared at me, gauging my reaction. I sobbed and held his hands tight.

Why is this happening to me? Do I deserve all of this to happen?

"You need to be strong." A voice of a man sat beside me on the hospital seat.

I looked at the white wall, not finding for the right words to say as this is the first time he talked to me like this.

"You're a strong person. Ever since you were a child, you were already strong and I believe in you." Dad said with no hint of sarcasm.

"Why are you suddenly talking to me?" I looked at him and his gray eyes met mine.

"I just want to remind you how strong of a person you are."

"You never say that when I was battling Leukemia."

"That's because I know you. You're weaker when it comes to the person you love not to your ownself. You were carrying a child back then and even if I was mad, I was thankful that she was there because you fought for her."

I smiled bitterly.

"I also gets tired of holding onto that little string of hope especially when my two weaknesses are at stake."

"Don't give up. You've been through so many obstacles, I'm sure this is just one of those, let the love be your way to fight and not give up." He gave me a smile.

"But why did you give up with your love for mom?" I looked at him.

His smiled disappeared.

"I know you love her. I can see that when I was a child but you weren't vocal just like me. Why in the end, you gave her up?"

He avoided my gaze and sighed.

"I was ashamed. You know my family, they do not like people with illness. Our surname is influential and knowing I married a mediocre woman with illness, they think it'll ruin our reputation."

I scoffed with how the world revolves. I don't get where do people get the guts to judge others just because our mind works different from normal people? Can't they at least appreciate we're trying to live  with them despite of the difficulties?

"But you proved us wrong. You made me proud by how far you've reached. I was there hiding in the audience when you were telling your speech five years ago. I felt so proud of you that I want to shout your name as my daughter."

I looked at my feet and didn't talk.

"When your mother died, I realized many things. She left me a farewell letter planning to kill herself because she made her own daughter cry. Guilt soon takes in me knowing I was one of those who made her that way. At first I didn't give attention to the letter but later on, that letter helped us prove your innocence. She planned it all along."

I gulped because I wasn't informed about the letter.

"Funny how she even made a signature and a finger print of her thumbs using her blood with date on it like she already knew you'd be a suspect. I never know she . . . still gets to think about you even with how she planned her death." He shook his head with a smile.

I wiped my tears when I felt it travelling down my face.

"I was the main reason why she became like that. I just cared for her but she didn't know. She thinks being in a mental hospital will make her even more crazy that's why she escaped."

"She escaped?" I looked at him, shock.

"She has hidden money. We found it on her place."

I remember the money I gave her when I caught her stabbing my stepmom with the knife.

"And the worse part, someone was manipulating her all along."

My lips parted when I looked at him, he gave me a sad smile.

"She was manipulated. All those thoughts, those anger, those hatred, those resentment was all manipulated. We did something bad but that person made it worse."

"Who?"

"I just discovered it recently." He looked at nothingness.

"Why did you discovered it just recently?"

"That person confessed out of guilt."

I don't know why my hands trembled as I looked at him with my fast breathing, like a hunch was telling me but I don't want to confirm it.

"Who?" I asked, repeating.

He turned to me and wiped my tears off. I remained waiting for his answer and the moment I heard his answer, I felt like my heart was bleeding like I was stabbed and betrayed.

"Ms. Pia, Piper's mother."

I stood and walked out of his sight, gathering all the courage to walk with my wobbly feet, wanting to give up by just hearing the name. I stopped when I saw Pixie who seemed shock too, she was listening all along and I could see how her lips parted as she looked at me.

"My . . . mom?" Pixie asked at nothingness and looked at where my dad was sitting.

I couldn't talk. I know I shouldn't be mad at her but I can't help it. I trusted and respected her mom so much thinking she's my friend's mom and I felt so betrayed she did this to me . . . to my mom, to my . . .  Kel.

Pixie turned her back on me and started running away. I didn't know how I managed to go home with my abstinence but I want to confront— no, I want to shout at her face for doing that to my mom.

But I was too late, it was Pixie who did that.

"Why are you shouting to our mom?!" Piper went in between them.

I remained standing in their distance while Ms. Pia looked at me with her bloodshot eyes, she seemed guilty but my anger was greater. How dare her stand in this house and she even has the guts to water the plants in our garden after confessing?!

"Why did you that to Miracle's mom?! Why did you . . . why did you manipulated her?!" She shouted, crying.

"What?" Piper seemed shock.

"Why won't I?! Piper is his child but he didn't dare to look at her! I loved him but he just made me as his maid and mistress! I didn't know he was married back then!"

"Are you proud of it?" Pixie seemed hurt.

"Don't you pity yourself, Pixie?! You were her maid for so long and you didn't even get to reach your dream because of her! You will always be just her mere assistant!"

I turned my back on them and started walking.

Perhaps it was insecurity and love— no, resentment that made her to do such thing. She doesn't like my mom but she hated my stepmom more that she manipulated my mom to stab her with the knife. And me? She hate me because she thinks I'm way more better than her daughter. She compared her daughter to me, she compared her life to others.

Insecurities is just a camouflage of dissatisfaction about ones' life.

"Mommy . . . Where daddy?" Ayah gazed her whole room but I was the only one here.

I'm contented with my daughter. I'm satisfied she came into my life and gave color to it. I've realized that contentment is a key for happiness and satisfaction no matter the inadequacy is.

"Resting." I said after a while and caressed her hair.

"I miss him." She pouted.

I feigned a smile.

Eyda is crying now in Aiden's room but she can't stay any longer since she's a kid, she might get virus if she stay here in the hospital for long.

"Are you tired of my face?" I tried to joke.

"He always sing a song for me. You don't have nice voice."

I nodded, I know that.

"You love him more than me don't you?" I tried to act in pain.

She shook her head and held my hand. I squeezed it and stared at her little hands. She has now a complete hair loss but I can still see her beauty with how she smile.

"I'll be mad at him if she don't come. I want to hear his voice, mommy."

He can't, baby. He wants to but he can't . . .

"Why're you crying?" She asked innocently.

I shook my head and wiped my tears off, smiling at her as if everything's fine.

"I'll talk to daddy, okay? He's just tired. He wants to rest for some day." I caressed her hand.

"I miss him already. I miss his jokes and smile. His song, his voice, his hug, his hand, him. I miss him, mommy. Why isn't he coming?" She's now ranting.

"He will, baby. He will, okay? Just wait, please?" I begged tiredly.

She nodded after a while. I let out a sigh when she's now sleeping after complaining where her daddy is. Justine now is inside my daughter's room, guarding her while I go to Aiden with the tears paving my way towards him.

I opened the door and saw Aiden still on his hospital bed. I bit my lower lip when he's now wearing a bonnet. At least he doesn't need ventilator any longer, although he still is weak, skinny and pale. It's been a weak and I'm glad to know he's trying his best to survive.

I removed my jacket and put it on the sofa, trying my best to act normal when I tried to touch my black pants' pocket. I didn't even get to fix myself well. My oversized black shirt is crumpled and even my hair is in a messy bun but I don't care any longer, I'm stressed.

"Your daughter miss you. She's mad why you're not visiting her." I said and sat on the chair beside his bed.

"I'll try . . ." He said weakly.

I nodded and looked up the ceiling to stifle the tears wanting to shout once again.

"Don't cry." He tried to reach for my face but his hands were too weak to stay in the air for long.

"Aiden, I don't understand why do you have to be sick in this situation?" I can't help but to get mad at him.

"I-I'm sorry . . ." 

I covered my face with my palms and sobbed. I thought I managed to escape the obstacle of crying everyday but this days, life is just making me feel how horrible I am.

"The doctor said it was recurrence. You had lung cancer before?" I looked at him with my bloodshot eyes.

I closed my eyes when he slowly nodded. I thought he was fine, he seemed fine but his body was just weak to fight.

"When?" I asked, breathless.

"Five years ago . . ."

I shook my head when I realized it. He wiped my tears and I let his finger touch my face as I mised his warmth for so long.

"On the club's rooftop. Did you put the blindfold because . . ."

"I was battling in cancer that time. I lost an amount of hair . . .  I looked as horrible as today." He chuckled.

My trembling hands reached for his skinny face and caressed it. He closed his eyes and smiled.

"Did you tell me to find someone else because you thought you're not gonna survive?" I asked in pain.

"Mmm."

"You told me to hate you because you thought I would be as sad right now if I discover you have cancer?" I tried to ask that question even with my trembling voice.

He nodded and opened his eyes.

"I-I don't want you crying like this. I'm sorry . . ." He shook his head weakly, always a weakling.

"But you survived! Can you survive again, please?" I begged.

A tear fell from his eyes. He didn't nod, afraid he might give me false hope. I wiped his tears with my trembling hands.

"You said you're going to marry me! I'm waiting for your proposal, Aiden!" I cried.

His breathing hitched. I could see the pain and sadness on his eyes and it's killing me. Like those blue eyes are telling me he can't . . . he can't do it, he couldn't do it.

"I want you to be . . . free. I'll die anyway." He whispered.

I sobbed harder as I shook my head consecutive times.

"I'd rather be in prison and be with you rather than being free walking in the path without the presence of your warmth! It's torturing, Aiden!"

"Miracle, I don't want you crying like this. It's torturing for me too. I want you—"

"I want you to be with me! I want you to spend your life with me! I will punish you for having a cancer!" I stood.

His lips parted when he saw me trying to kneel on the floor but I'm not gonna beg.

"Miracle . . ."

If he can't propose to me then I'll do it.

"Miracle, what are you—"

"Marry me, Aiden." I closed my eyes when I grabbed the ring on my pocket with my trembling hands.

"Miracle . . ." His voice was shock.

"Marry me . . ." My voice cracked, still eyes were close.

"But, Miracle. I don't deserve you. You need to be—"

"Marry me, Aiden."

"You will regre—"

"Marry me, Aiden." I repeated.

"I don't have anything to offer. I'm sick, I'm nothi—"

"I don't care, just marry me, Aiden." I opened my eyes and I met his blue eyes, they were in pain but I could see a glint of joy in it.

He gulped and bit his lower lip. He's already sitting, wanting to

"You—"

"Marry me, Aiden. Let me be your wife."

He didn't answer. I covered my face with my palms and sobbed. I've threw all my pride just for this but he—

I felt his warm embrace on me. I sobbed even louder and hugged him back tight, not wanting him to let go.

"You don't need to this, Miracle. I love you, you're the only woman whom I can picture as my wife. Don't cry, don't beg, I'm willing to do everything for you." His voice was gentle.

"Then marry me!" I sobbed on his shoulder.

"I will." He kissed my head.

"I-I love you, weakling . . ."

He chuckled and caressed my hair.

"I will always love you, thug . . . Until my death."

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Celestial Aurora