Chapter 38

"Pixie, how could you . . ." I called in disbelief.

She was just quiet behind Aiden while Ms. Pia's behind him. I don't know how my fear and a sudden memory struck inside my mind when I saw him with her because all I felt was the unbearable pain and ache.

"She's not your daughter!" I pulled Kel's hand close to mine.

"Miracle, please . . ." His grip on my daughter tightened.

I looked at Pixie as my tears fell, she avoided my gaze because she . . . knew the truth.

No! This isn't the truth! Get a hold of yourself, Miracle! That isn't the truth!

"She's not your daughter, Aiden." I said with full of emphasis.

He shook his head as he sighed.

"Miracle, she's five years old." He said as if he's pointing something.

Kel just looked at me with confusion as she looked at Aiden.

"So?" I said coldly.

"You left me six years ago! You carried her for nine months! She's my daughter too!" He tried to pull Kel close to her but I pulled Kel away from her.

"Don't you dare hold my daughter, Aiden." I warned him.

His eyes were pleading as he looked at Kel. I could see how a glint of fear and confusion became palpable on his eyes for a second by the time my daughter and his eyes met.

"If she's not mine then . . . who?" His voice was in pain.

I scoffed and tightened my grip on Kel.

"I'm the mother and all I could say is that she's not yours, Aiden." I avoided his gaze.

"Prove it." He said persistently.

I looked at him with disbelief as I stare at Pixie with my cold eyes.

"You know the truth. Tell him. She," I looked at Kel and gulped before shifting it back to Pixie. "is not his daughter, right?' I asked, breathless.

Pixie bit her lower lip as she bowed her head and silently sobbed.

"Pixie . . ." I pleaded.

"She . . . she's . . ." She couldn't continue her word.

"Miracle, don't deprive our daughter for having a—"

"She's not yours, Aiden." Pixie added with her trembling voice.

Aiden looked at her with his lips parted but Pixie was sobbing.

"What?" He asked as if he couldn't believe what he just heard.

"She's not yours! She's not your daughter! Stop saying she's yours because she's not!" She shouted at him.

My tears cascaded down as I looked at Aiden with a smile. I could see the pain on his eyes as if he concluded something. 

"She's not my daughter?" He looked down at Kel.

"She's not." My voice trembled.

"Mommy . . ." Kel looked at me as her tears dropped.

Do you know the truth, my . . . daughter?

"I don't belive you." Aiden shook his head as he scoffed in disbelief.

"She's not yours, Aiden so get out!" I pushed him away from us. 

"I want a proof." He said coldly.

I scoffed.

"Who are you to request such hideous things?! I'm her mother! I have the right not to give you permission with my daughter!"

"I also have the right, Miracle!" 

To settle everything, I let go of Piper and dragged Aiden out there so she wouldn't hear our shouts although I know it's already too late. He didn't talk until I reached the gate and pushed him away from my house.

"Get out!" I shouted.

His jaw clenched along with his fist that shows his deep anger.

"I have the right to know the truth, Miracle." He said with full of emphasis.

"What? You thought you're the only one whom I fucked?" I laughed a mock.

I could see how his eyes darkened.

"Oh wow, you're mad? Why? Don't act as if you didn't make another woman pregnant, Aiden." I smirked with my effing tone.

"Miracle," he closed his eyes as he let out a deep breath as if he's controlling himself not to shout at me. "Yes, I slept with her but that was before I remember my memories with you back. If that's the reason why you don't want me—"

"Stop with that fucking excuse, Aiden. You think I'd believe you forgot our memories? No, you just made that as an excuse!"

"So you want me to be selfish again?" He asked in annoyance.

"What?" I asked in incredulity.

"Consider I didn't lose our memories together. With our memories, I still love you, with your memories, I'm still crazy for you, do you think I'd still have my right mind with that? Am I not allowed to love someone else, Miracle? Because that's what I at least feel now, now that I'm still in love with you! You made me love you even without our memories together and now you made me much more crazier with how all our memories came back!"

"I don't get you, Aiden." I shook my head.

"Loving you was like a sin to myself. I became selfless, no, I only think about you, I only think about your feelings not considering how in pain I was when I loved you wholly. You said you know that Weakling so well, right? He wouldn't and couldn't even love nor kiss another woman because he's too crazy for you. And what if you didn't appear in front of me again? What if I didn't lose our memories together? I would still love you, much more, I would end up not loving someone else again. That's selfish just because I . . . love you."

I can't help but to smile bitterly as those words hit me. Yes, I'm selfish for wanting that Weakling with its memories. I am selfish for hating him just because he loved another woman. I am selfish for wanting him to only love only me and not anyone else, maybe because I know . . . I won't be able to love someone else again and I want him not to love anyone too. How selfish, Miracle.

"It's not my fault if you were in pain while I was only hurt. It's not my fault if you were suffering while I was just crying. And it's not my fault if you love me more than I love you. You were the one who loved me more and the consquences of loving someone more than themselves are the ones who should be blamed for the pain they instilled within themselves. Don't you dare blame me for your own doing, Aiden." I said coldly.

"I can never love myself especially when the first woman I loved hates the person I am." His fist clenched.

I'm not the first woman whom you loved . . . who?

"Miracle," Jake's voice appeared. 

Aiden's eyes darkened as he stared at me but my eyes shifted to Jake behind him.

"Jake . . ." 

"How's her? Is she inside? Is she okay?" He glanced at Aiden.

"You can talk to her," I gave him a way.

Aiden let out a disbelief scoff as he looked at me.

"You will let him in while you can't even let me be with her?"

"Stop assuming, Aiden, and get out." I maintained my stoic face.

"How evil and selfish can you be, Miracle?"

"You will always see me as the evil and selfish Miracle no matter what I do." I turned my back on him and pulled Jake with me to trudge towards my house.

Because I will always do what I think would be better for you even if that means making my picture as the selfish one.

I let him . . . I let him watch us and he never talked nor stopped us until we entered the house.

"Jake . . ." Pixie seemed shock with his presence.

"Is Piper okay?" He gazed the house.

Pixie sighed and nodded. She looked at Ms. Pia and Ms. Pia nodded too.

Jake turned to me.

"I'll go talk to her. Don't worry." He caressed my hand to calm me down

I bowed and nodded. I don't think I can handle nor even talk to her with this kind of situation. I don't want to confirm anything nor conclude something that would hurt me in the end.

Jake went upstairs while I was left downstairs. Pixie hugged me but I couldn't move.

"I-I'm sorry. I need to tell the truth, Miracle . . ." Her voice was trembling.

"Stop . . ." I almost whispered.

But if looks like, she didn't heard me as her sobs kept on going. She loosened her hug on me and wiped her tears off as she stared at me.

"Ke-Kel . . . she's—"

"Stop! Stop talking! Everything I know is the truth! Don't manipulate me, Pixie!" I cut her off as my tears strum down my eyes.

"Miracle . . ."

"Kel is fine! Kel is mine!" I shouted with full of emphasis.

"Listen to me, Miracle! Kel—"

I turned my back on her and ran towards my daughter's room. No, I'm not gonna listen to anyone. I'm not gonna believe what they say, nothing will tell me the truth other than me. This is the truth. This is . . . I at least wants the truth to believe.

My hands was about to open the door left hanging when I heard my daughter sobbing inside her room. I don't have any courage to tell her anything and it hurts how a mother like me is a coward.

"It's okay. Shh . . ." Jake calmed her down.

"Who's my father?" She asked in her little tone.

I gulped as my tears streamed down my cheeks.

"Everyone loves you. Your mommy loves you, your mom loves you. Pixie loves you. You have two moms who loves you! No need to find for someone who can't be with you. I'm right here."

Please don't tell her the . . . truth, Jake.

"My father's alive . . ." She was confident.

I couldn't take it anymore. I ran towards my room, sat in the corner on the floor, hugged my bended knees and sobbed.

You're father is vicious. Your father doesn't deserve you. Please don't ask for his presence because you'll . . . just end up like me, Piper.

Sobbing now became my weakness. I thought it would give me strength but ever since I loved Aiden, he shot me with all the bullets he has to make me this weak even when he helped me get out from the loading pain of my heart because in the end, he gave my heart a wound and the worse . . .  he left something with me I know would make my world a complete wreck once I accept it.

I didn't notice I fell asleep but when I heard the door opening, I realized I was. I looked at the door and saw Piper heading towards me with her bloodshot eyes. I immediately pulled her towards me and hugged her tight as I sob.

"Sorry for shouting." She said with her little voice and hugged me back.

"I'm right here. Please don't look for someone else." I whispered.

She nodded even when I know it's hard for her to accept it.

I didn't know how days went by. I stayed inside the house while Pixie was busy apologizing to them for my absence, she couldn't scold me because she knew my state.

"December 27." I stood, remembering this day.

I thought everything was prepared but the house seemed normal. I opened Kel's room and she's busy brushing her hair as if she didn't know today is her birthday.

"Kel, today is you birthday." I said with a smile.

She nodded and looked down at her fingers like she's not excited for it.

"Today is your birthday. Happy birthday!" I uttered happily and sat on her bed.

And because I want to prove to myself what the truth is, I prepared a small celebration for her. I even invited my brother whom I didn't meet for so long I don't know what he's busy for or why does it seemed like he's mad about me but he said he'll come.

"Pixie! Where's the cake?" I shouted at her and looked at the huge table prepared on the garden.

"It's here! It's here! Just wait!"

I smiled and looked at my daughter who was just sitting at the head sit with Ms. Pia on her left side as she caressed my daughter's hand.

"Your uncle Jus will come and visit you! It's once in a while! Aren't you excited?" I said happily and sat on the right side.

"Mmm . . ." She said weakly.

The doorbell on the gate rang.

"Just in time! It must be him!" I said and stood.

They didn't talk. The maids already prepared the cake, desserts and foods for the simple celebration and then they head inside the house in order not to disturb us while I ran towards the gate to open the door.

"Jus—"

My smile dissipated when I saw who's with him.

"I brought our father." He gave me a small smile.

This is the first time he'll see my daughter and this is the first time my daughter will see his grandfather. I didn't see him after surviving from Leukemia, all I heard was that he was busy and now looking at his white small mustache and little strands  of white hair on her head, I could see how much he grown old.

"O-Okay." I let them enter.

I was about to close the small gate when a hand went in. It was Aiden's bloodshot eyes that made me stop in shock.

"What are—"

"I heard it from Pixie. Today is her birthday." He said weakly. He seemed drained.

"Get—"

"Please let me talk to her. Let me talk to you. I already accepted the fact, Miracle." He gave me a small smile.

The envelope he was holding with his left hand made my heart thump out loud.

"What—"

"It's a DNA from her hair. I gave him that." Pixie said behind me.

I looked at Pixie behind me with disbelief but I was more shock when I saw my daughter standing near us, watching the adults talk.

"Pixie! I warned you not to talk! You have no—"

"I have the right, Miracle!" She cut me off as her voice cracked.

Aiden gave me the paper. As much as I don't want to read it, my eyes were betraying me.

"What happened, Miracle? Tell me what happened . . ." His voice was in pain.

My grip on the paper tightened as my visions starts to get blurred just by reading the result of the DNA.

The result is . . . Negative.

"I told you, you're not the father." My voice trembled.

"Then who? Tell me, Miracle. Who's her father?" He whispered, breathless.

My tears dropped when my eyes met my father's eyes. He avoided my gaze as his fist clenched but I was too broken when Piper pointed him.

"He . . . has the same eyes as mine." She pointed out.

Pixie broke down to her sobs. I couldn't move when I confirmed everything, the thing I wanted so bad not to accept has now witnessed the truth.

"Pipe—"

She ran away from us.

"Piper!"

"This is your fault!" I shouted to Pixie and ran to chase Piper.

My heart was thumping loud as I try to chase for Piper. Sweats were all over my face as I pant out of fright drowning myself in angst with the truth . . . the real truth.

"Pi-Piper . . ." I called when I saw her in the corner of the backyard, hugging herself as she sob.

I was about to utter another word to calm her down but the next words that came into her mouth completely struck me with the reality I should and need to accept.

"I'm not your real daughter."

_________________________

Celestial Aurora