Chapter 35

"Huh?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"You asked me what my birthday gift is. My father, mommy— that's what I want. I want to meet him." She said on the line.

I gulped. I tried to part my trembling lips. I don't know what's wrong with me but I was petrified so terrified about the unknown.

Feels like . . . an instinct. An instinct I want to ignore. A memory I don't want to go back. A past I want to bury.

"Oh! You . . . you don't want toys? Uhm . . . a-anything else?"

"No, mommy. My birthday is next week. I want to see you and dad ."

I couldn't talk for a while.

"Mommy? I know he's alive. Please, mommy . . ."

I gulped and nodded even if I know she cannot see me.

"O-Okay . . ."

"Yey! Thank you, mommy! Muah!" She let out a kiss sound on the line.

I couldn't smile.

"I-I love you . . ."

"I lo--- yes, mommy! Me too!" She giggled.

It wasn't long when she ended the call.

My hands fell on their own as I look at nothingness. I held my heart at the sudden ache, at a vague memory, at something my brain wants to ignore as my tears kept on falling.

What's wrong with you, Racle?

I wiped my tears off and let out a deep breath.

"Racle! The shooting will start!" One of the stuffs called.

"I'm coming!" I shouted and ran towards them.

I busied myself, letting all those worries away.

"Good afternoon!" Aiden's voice echoed around the make-up room.

"Good afternoon!" Jade greeted.

They greeted him but I was too absent minded to even talk. Autumn kept on glancing at me but I was too preoccupied to even think about how I look as she put on my make-up.

"Are you okay?" I heard Aiden.

"Yes I am?" Autumn answered.

He chuckled but then he made his seat face my direction and made me face him when he sat on the chair in front of me.

Jade and her make-up artist gasped exasperatedly at our sudden interection, even Autumn seemed shock but I don't care about their reaction, I'm more likely gauging my heart and mind about the things I'm not sure of. I've had this weird feeling of sadness and lonliness I couldn't paint out why and I know I shouldn't be questioning this because this is normal for the past 4 years.

"Are you okay, Mi— Racle?" He asked me.

"Oh! Me? Yes . . ." I trailed off.

He narrowed his eyes on me, unconvinced, but then later on, he nodded when he noticed I don't want to talk about it.

Ms. Pro knocked on the open door, grabbing our attention, we both turned to her direction.

"Hey, Racle and Aiden, we'll have a dinner at a restaurant. Wanna join?" She asked with a smile.

"Sure!" He agreed.

Ms. Pro's brow arched at me, waiting for my confirmation.

"Yeah . . ." I forced myself.

"Good." She nodded and smiled.

"Wait! What about me?" Jade asked.

"Did I invite you? No." Ms. Pro left us.

"Pft . . ." Autumn teased a restraining laugh.

"Whatever!" Jade rolled her eyes.

Aiden pinched my cheeks just to grab my attention. I glared at him but he just gave me a smile before shifting his attention back on his phone.

Jade and her make-up artist started talking again about anything that irritates her. As long as she don't discriminate and stigmatize others, I'll stay quiet with that. It's her natural personality to judge a human being--- more like a natural personality of humans to judge their fellow man, it's what we're born of and only to stop that disease is to learn how to perceive a broad understanding and open up our hearts with an awakened awareness of empathy.

"Cute . . ." I heard Aiden whispered to himself.

I looked at his reflection that made my eyebrows twitched when I saw him looking at his phone screen, smiling wide as if he's watching something amusing, both wireless earbuds on his ears.

"Must be his girlfriend." Autumn said as she put on my blush.

"He's single." I said with emphasis and turned to him again, he was still smiling wide, all his attention and focus was on the screen.

"I took a peek at what he's watching and saw a girl." Autumn whispered on my ears.

I looked at Aiden again on the reflection. For some reason, his smile irritate the hell out of me. It made my blood boil by just thinking he's smiling just because of a girl on the screen?!

I thought he likes me?! So what's with the smile?! He's not serious about me, huh?!

"Relax. Gonna kill me with your stare?" Aiden laughed when he saw my eyes watching him through the reflection.

"Having fun?" I raised my brow.

"Yup." His eyes shifted back to his phone.

I scoffed and grasped the script on the table harsh as I read the lines with full of emphasis inside my mind.

"I will kill her." I said.

"Huh?" Aiden straightened his back and turned to me.

"I was reading the script." I calmed down and raised my brows at him.

"Oh." He nodded and was about to turn his attention back on the screen—

"I will slit her throat in front of your eyes!" I banged the table with my clenched fist that made him flinch including Autumn and Jade.

"You . . . o-okay?" Aiden asked.

I closed my eyes and slowly nodded.

"I was practicing my lines." I said in my composed tone.

"But that wasn't par—"

"Shut the hell up or I'll kill you." I looked at the script as I uttered those words to cut Jade off.

It was a moment of silence.

Not until Aiden silently laughed again while looking on his phone's screen.

Annoyed, I stood and snatched his phone out of his hold impulsively to see who's the fucking girl he's looking at.

"Hey!" He complained.

"What the fuck?!" I gave him his phone back and stormed out of the room out of embarrassment.

It's not a porn! But the video is worse than a porn! I grunted and entered the bathroom as I pulverize my head using my fist.

He was watching my drunk video where I confessed my love for him with the band! That was definitely the leaked video and he even saved it on his phone! I was a mess on the video! Fuck!

I calmed myself down for a minute before I decided to go out of the bathroom.

"You okay?"

I flinched when I heard Aiden's voice.

"Why wouldn't I?! And why the fuck are you watching my video?!"

He laughed.

"Relax. Why would you grab my phone in the first place? Did you think I was watching a—"

"Porn! Yes! But it's worse than a porn!" I cut him off.

"What? Why would I laugh if that's the case? Is there a porn comedy?" He laughed.

I pushed him away from me out of annoyance and trudged my way towards the makeup room.

My anger didn't subside even after the shooting. And my anger became worse when Aiden's phone on the makeup table rang, showing "Rhiana" as the caller.

He was still shooting his scene with the cast while mine was done with just a one take. Annoyed, I answer the caller.

"A-Aiden?" She was crying again.

"What do you want?!" I spat.

The line became quite for a minute. I was about to end the call when she talked.

"You're Racle?" She asked.

"And so if I am?"

I heard her scoffed on the line.

"Where's he?" There was no hint of sob in her voice unlike earlier.

Wow. She could totally have an oscar for being such an actress.

"Shooting." I said lazily.

"Are you in a relationship with him?" Her voice was full of disbelief.

"So?" My brows twitched upwards.

"That's impossible though. He's crazy over me."

"Okay. Continue with your delusions." I rolled my eyes.

She chuckled and her chuckle made me annoy.

"If you want to know how crazy he is with me then look at the video I'm about to send in this number."

"I don't fucking care, bitch." I ended the call out of irritation.

But then his phone beeped, sign that that bitch sent a message. As much as I don't wanna see it, my fingers has a brain on their own that it presses the video on his notification.

"What the fuck?!" I threw Aiden's phone on the table when I heard a moan on the video.

It's a video worse than a porn or even worse than my drunk video! It's Aiden and Rhiana kissing?! Aiden sitting on the sofa while Rhiana was on his lap, kissing him thoroughly and even if the face of the man was almost covered with Rhiana shirtless back with only her bra, I know it's Aiden. I know Aiden well especially with only his demeanor itself, no, it can't be Grayson.

Even if I want to avoid my eyes on the video, I was stuck with it. His hands going all over her thighs as he kiss her shirtless. Oh what the fucking scandal would it make if the girl released the video. Why would they even film it?! Are they dumb? Is he dumb? Don't he know how this video could ruin his reputation?!

Annoyed, I shut down his phone and stormed out of the makeup room.

Fuck your feelings, Aiden. You're really so far from my Weakling.

"Why so sulky?" Ms. Pro asked and drank another shot.

"I thought it's a dinner? Why are we in a club again?" My brows arched at her because we're in the same club we used to go, only now that Jade's not present.

"You're hot-tempered today, Mi. Is there something wrong?" Jake asked.

"What's with the meeting here, Pro? You said it's something important?" Mr. Director asked.

A cloth landed on my thighs once again. I don't need to turn, I know it's Aiden beside me since I'm wearing a black mini skirt and black long sleeve crop top.

Ms. Pro nodded and straightened her back as she landed the shot on the table. Now she's about to say something important but Aiden doesn't seemed to care since he's just staring at me, Jake too since he looks like thinking something deep as he stare at Ms. Pro. To be honest, it's only the Mr. Director who seemed interested with what she's bout to say, although Jake's staring at her, he looks like thinking of something else.

"So tomorrow is about the scene where—"

"Racle and Jake's bed scene." Mr. Director cut her off.

Aiden now seemed interested. He immediately turned to Ms. Pro with brows raised.

"So . . . how about planning the scene now, right? Like . . . what if we make the scene—"

"We can't make the scene a comedy." The director scoffed and belted his shot glass, now seemed uninterested while we all became interested.

"I mean . . . let's make the scene that would be edging for the audience, like we don't need to totally let the two—"

"Racle's a good kisser. You can see it with her and Aiden's bed scene. I know tomorrow will not be a problem." The director said lazily.

"Actually . . . it was me who's good. I don't think Jake's a good one so I agree with Ms. Pro." Aiden nodded, agreeing to her.

"Yes! Right?" Ms. Pro's eyes lit up.

"Tss. Be professional." The director only said.

"Racle and I are only friends." I don't know if Jake's assuring someone with what he said.

"Let's see Jake. Look at Aiden, he became hard even if he loves someone else so maybe you too? But . . . do you love someone else?" I raised my brow and looked at Ms. Pro.

Ms. Pro glared at me while Aiden huffed in annoyance.

"Someone else? Aiden love someone?" Jake smiled at him, teasing him.

"Yeah. But it's normal since it's pure lust. No need to be worried, Ms. Pro." I assured her.

"You're trying to imply what?" Aiden asked me with his irritated tone.

I looked at him innocently.

"That all was a pure lust. Don't worry, I think it's normal for a man to be tempted with their on screen partner if they kiss passionately. You see, I've kissed a lot of actors and they all became hard even if they don't like me." I nodded and shrugged.

Now he seemed enraged.

"Watch your words, woman." He warned.

I rolled my eyes and drank a shotgun before turning to him once again.

"All was lust. And I'm not going to fall for it. No, maybe you're just too dried right? Because she's not here?" I laughed a mock.

He banged the table with his clenched fist. Ms. Pro and Jake flinched while Mr. Director seemed amused with the scene. I wasn't fazed, I kept my cold glance straight at him.

"So you're saying I'm that kind of person you think of?" He scoffed.

"Aren't you?" I smirked.

"What?!" He asked in disbelief.

"And next time. Be careful when you film something." I said and stood.

"Wha—"

"I'll go now." I cut Aiden off and threw his jacket off my thighs.

My stepped hastened when I went to the parking lot of the club especially now that I'm feeling his steps behind me.

And I was too late, he snatched my arms and made me face him.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked in his restraining voice.

"What?! Is it wrong to be mad?! And what the fuck, Aiden?! Stop holding me! I'm disgusted of you! Holding me with your hands yet you fuck other girls!" I can't help but to shout.

"What?" Now he's acting.

I scoffed and tried to snatch my hands away from his hold but his grip on me tightened.

"Oh! You didn't know you were filmed by Rhiana while you're kissing her passionately? Am I right? Well, there's nothing wrong with that. I'm not mad about that what I'm mad is is that you're claiming you like me but you thirst for other woman! Ugh! Just man and their lust!" I fumed.

His lips parted, trying to process the words I just said. I grabbed that chance to push him away from me but he held my hand tightly.

"No! That's not true! It's not lust! Listen to me Ra—"

"Stop! Stop calling me Racle! I'm tired of pretending! Just please! Stop!" My voice cracked.

This is already enough. I've already fooled him, now I'm fooling myself and my fucking feelings.

"What?"

I looked at him with my bloodshot eyes. I stared at his face for a while.

"That same eyes . . . that same smile. That same body. Fuck it, Aiden! I accepted the fact you're not my weakling but fuck! Why do you have to like me?! Why do you have to give me another false hope?! You're not him! You will never be him and I just proved it now!"

His brows furrowed and the confusion was palpable on his face.

"My weakling . . . he will never do that to me. No, he can't do that to me. He loved me so much and I felt that. I know him and he . . . he can never do what you just did. He can never kiss another woman. He can never love another woman. He can never be you. But why am I hurting if he's not you?" I shook my head and looked up to stop my tears from falling.

His grip on me tightened.

"He's not perfect. He's poor. He's nerd. He's lanky. He's a weakling," I laughed, reminiscing him. "But I love him. I love him for what he have." I smiled at him.

"Miracle . . ."

"Now . . . he's not poor anymore. He's not nerd. He's not lanky. He's not a weakling anymore. He's different now from the boy I loved because now he's a man. But fuck? Why am I missing that old boy? That weakling? Maybe because he's different from you," I nodded and avoided his gaze. "That weakling was willing to cut his class just to make me happy but you? You can hurt me by just seeing you getting hurt because of the woman you love."

I turned my back on him and was about to leave but he said a word that made me halt.

"Don't you think that without our memory, it helped me survive those six years of living without you by my side, Miracle?"

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Celestial Aurora