Chapter 27

"Why would you believe me by the way, I'm just making fun of you!" I laughed and shook my head.

"Huh?" He's confused.

"Truth is, we haven't really met. Maybe I just mistook you. By the way, I'm invading your privacy right? Sorry for that. Whatever you did and will do, it's out of my business." I nodded with a smile.

Maybe it'll be better this way. The past will stay in the past until I wait for our memories to vanish in thin air although I know even if the storm breeze would occur, the bond I had with him will stand still like a bamboo tree unfazed by the slam of reality from the weather of destruction. I don't know what kind of trauma he gave to me back then but then I realize that as I spend my time with him in this way, I will end up longing for the Weakling of yesterday.

I don't care if he had an amnesia or what, I will not dig into it any further as the sight of today feels like a betray and I'm more than ready for the past to fade.

"So you weren't exactly in my past?" He confirmed.

And today is the great day to start wiping out the memories of our past.

"Yes." 

He nodded but then he stared at me as if he doesn't believe me.

"I should go now. I forgot to bring my phone with me. Pixie must be worried for me now," I lied. 

"I'll accompa—"

"I can be on my own. I don't want to create rumors with you." I cut him off with a cold tone.

"Oh! Okay . . ." He smiled.

I need to be cool about it.

But then I forgot something . . .

"Just give me a fee to pay for the cab." I managed to say with a shameless face.

"Oh! Okay!" He looked for his wallet inside the pocket of his shorts.

And he handed me a one dollar. I glared at him but he tilted is head. 

"More." It isn't enough!

"I don't have money. Let me just accompany you to your home. I have motorcycle." He offered.

"You used a car yesterday. You even borrowed it from your friend." I pointed out.

Because a motorcycle doesn't fit with me! I don't want to ride that close to you!

"I thought you didn't remember anything yesterday?"

Fuck.

"Huh? Maybe I was just dreaming." I nodded and avoided his gaze.

"Okay . . . so now . . . ride with me on my motorcycle?"

I sighed. I want to insist about the car but then maybe . . . maybe his friend already got it so I nodded to agree. 

And I was mistaken because I literally saw the car he used yesterday just behind his motorcycle outside the penthouse!

"Who's car is that?" I asked.

"My friend," He answered and assembled the pink helmet on my head.

I assume this helmet is for the girl he likes, I'm not gonna ask further about his private life so I should keep my mouth shut.

He's wearing a black hood and shorts, even with the simplicity, he still looks fine— he didn't even change since he's just gonna drop me. I can't help but to sigh at the sight of his motorcycle, definitely sure it's an Energica Ego motorcycle, considerng the small space on it!

By the way, what's the big deal, Racle?

He hopped on the motorcycle after wearing his helmet and turned to me. I sighed inwardly but didn't move.

"Give me you hand," he said that made me flinch.

"What?"

He grabbed my hand and gave me a bubble gum.

"What's this?!" I hissed.

"You look nervous. Chew that, it'll lessen your nervousness." He laughed.

I glared at him.

"But if you're nervous you might fall, I can lend you my hand. I can drive with one hand if you give me your hand." He offered, must be thinking I'm nervous because it's my first time riding a motorcycle.

Uncomfortable by his stare, I hopped in with a small space between us since I can't step backward any longer. He looked at the small space and raised his brow at me.

"You might fall." He said.

"Impossible." I uttered with confidence.

"So you're not gonna hold onto me?" He raised his brow.

"Why do you care? Just start the engine." I hissed.

He nodded and I almost left my soul in his penthouse when he started the engine abruptly fast without even giving me a warn! I almost fell because of that!

"Fuck you!" I cursed and struck his helmet with my knuckle.

He laughed and even made the engine of the motorcycle faster that I have no choice but to hold onto him because of the fear of falling.

"Ouch!" He complained when I pinched the side of his stomach as a revenge.

I smirked and wrapped both my palms on his neck to hold onto him.

"What are you doing? You might choke me!"

"So slow the engine or I'll choke you tight to hold onto you without falling!"

And he did. The engine now is in its normal pace although it still is fast but in a normal speed. I won the battle but I shouldn't let out my guard off so my hands stayed still on his neck just in case.

"Are you going to keep on choking me? You may might kill me just in case you don't know," he said in a matter-of-fact.

"I can't hear you!" I shouted and smiled at the fresh wind damping on my face.

He didn't talk while I look at the familiar building passing by us. It feels nostalgic smelling those street foods, hearing people's chats and beeps echoing, feeling the past that might not be perfect but can perfectly fit the life of wanting to be young again and enjoy every first things you did, good or bad experience.

But in my case . . . my past wouldn't be memorable and nostalgically good without the memory of being with him.

I looked at him through the side mirror only to caught him glancing at me. He tilted his head while I avoided my gaze knowing that this man I'm with today is far different from the Weakling who taught me the feeling of being satisfied by just loving him wholly because now . . . the Aiden of today isn't a part of my yesterday and is far different from the Weakling I loved.

The ride became smooth. After telling him the location of the building I'm currently staying at which I'm sure he knew where because that's where I saw him with his girl, I didn't talk to him any longer until I reached my unit.

"So! Where have you been?!" Shout of Pixie echoed around the unit.

"None of your business." I said and went to the sofa.

I grabbed my phones that were on the table, probably, Pixie tried to contact all of those people in my contact list even though most people in there are in Canada.

"Don't you know how worried I was?! I even got scolded by your manager! I'm blaming Jake for this because I can't even blame that Executive Producer who's the—"

"Hush." I cut her off as the dial ring for Ms. Pia's number rang.

Not so long, she answered the call.

"Good morning! Where's Ke—"

"Mom!" I heard my daughter's giggle on the line.

"Just kidding!" Ms. Pia's laugh echoed on the line.

"Take me to bath!" My daughter commanded but obviously, she's just teasing her.

"Yes, my baby. At your service!"

My lips parted. I couldn't talk a word when they're barely talking. I looked at my phone screen and she did answer it. Maybe she didn't notice because she's too busy with my daughter.

"Oh! What is it Ma'am?" Finally, she talked to me.

"Can I talk to my daughter?"

"I'm sorry, Ma'am but she's in the bathtub already. And she has a school to go, she might be late if you'll talk to her now."

"But—"

"Mom! Where are you? I'm already drowning here!" I heard my daughter's shout echoed in the bathroom on the line.

"Yes baby!" She shouted. "Gonna go, Ma'am."

"Wait—"

She hung-up.

I stared at my phone's screen for a while.

"Why? Did you talk to my mom?" Pixie asked, gauging my reaction.

"I didn't get to talk to my own daughter." I pointed out.

"And where the hell did you sleep yesterday, Racle?! Don't tell me you got a hook-up and then what if tomorrow you'll be pregnant?!" She accused.

"My daughter seemed fine without her own mom?" I asked at nothingness as I stare at the screen.

"What if you were in danger and you didn't have your phone with you?! What if someone took a video of you making out? What if you fall in the cliff and you cannot fight?! What if you were taken in the grass field and no one can hear you scream?! What if you die and you are not going to survive?! What if—"

I stood and walked towards my room to rest, I'm not feeling good especially that my daughter doesn't seem to miss her own mom.

Am I not a good mother to her? Do I lack in so many ways and Ms. Pia is the perfect mom for my own daughter? Does my daughter even deserve me? Is she ashamed her mom has an illness while Ms. Pia doesn't?

I lay on the bed while thinking of my insufficiency for being Kel's mother, comparing me to Ms. Pia, only to end up realizing that I really lack in so many ways to be a mom to my own daughter.

Slam of the book made me open my eyes. I glared at Pixie beside me while Autumn, my make-up artist, uttered a weird words as her reflex of being shock.

"Until when are going to be gloomy, Racle?! Look at your face! You look depress just because of the call from my mom earlier this morning! You're going to shoot now! Smile!"

I shook my head and let Autumn finish my make-up as I stare at my reflection on the mirror.

Don't worry, Pixie. I can pull off anything when it comes to pretending.

"Action!"

I slapped Jake in front of me. Tears rolling down my cheeks as the artificial rain keeps on dropping by. With my bloodshot eyes, I shook my head in full of disappointment.

"I! Trusted you!" my voice cracked as I point my chest, emphasizing the pain he brought to my heart.

"A-Adira . . ." He reached for me but I shoved his hands off me.

"Don't you ever regret if I change because of you, Oliver." I uttered with full of emphasis, every words deserves to linger in his mind.

"I'm sorry, Adira! I-I was afrai---"

"And don't worry. Whoever this man who brought fear to you just to hurt me this much. I will kill him." I smirked and wiped my tears off.

And followed by the script, I turned my back on him and trudged out of his stance as my tears kept on cascading down from my eyes, followed by the camera, showing how in deep torn he brought to the girl whom used to be an angel but then became a devil just by loving him.

"Cut!" The director's shout echoed around the place.

Pixie ran towards me and gave me a water bottle. I opened the bottle and drank the water as I raised my brows at Pixie, proving her how good I am without the mood. She nodded and clapped to satiate my thirst for being approved.

They watched the scene again and thankfully, in one take, we moved to another scene. Jake is a great actor too, reason why we're both compatible as the leads.

"Aiden's filming at the other set for his scene with the other actors. Jade's with him." Ms. Pro informed me out of nowhere.

"So?" I raised my brow.

She shrugged.

"Just giving you information. Who knows? You might be curious."

"Who told you that? Are you assuming things right now?" Now I'm starting to be a hater of Ms. Pro.

"Racle! Go to the set now!" Pixie shouted.

I stood from sitting on the chair and looked at Ms. Pro who raised her brow at me.

"I'm a girl too. And one of the defenses of the girl if they like someone is through hating them." She smirked.

What kind of bullshit is she talking about?

"If I like someone, I would go straight up to that guy and will fucking make out with him to see if he kiss me back so what kind of logic are you talking about?" I asked confidently.

She nodded and sat on the chair I'm sitting to earlier, then she crossed her legs in front of me along with her hands.

"There's two reason. One . . . they couldn't believe they like that man so they hate them. Two . . . the cannot believe their own selves that they like this certain man so they will end up hating them to see the bad side of the guy whom they like. It's rare but I could see it in you."

I shook my head to see that none of it describes me.

"Well there's this saying, the more you hate—"

"The more likely you can kill them." I cut her off with a smirk.

Her smirk dissipated.

"Are you a psycho?" She accused.

"If you want me to act, I can pull it off pretty well without the needs of pretending." I nodded with a smile.

Her jaw dropped at my answer.

"Racle!" Pixie shouted again.

I turned my back at her and hoofed towards Pixie.

Like him? Fucking never! I did love him but I will never love him again! I fucking moved on! I just longed for the old him but I know I fucking move on!

But I don't understand the ache I could feel whenever he's with the girl whom he love or much more whenever he's in pain while watching the girl he love.

Just like the sight I'm witnessing today.

Him . . . behind the girl he love, watching her stare at Grayson and his new girlfriend that looks genuinely happy as he talk to her while the girl's eating a chocolate and holding a flower outside the modelling company.

I don't know why it even hurts more seeing Aiden's eyes as if the girl's pain was vibrating through his heart.

Until both couple went inside their car, passing the girl who's standing in front of them, Grayson didn't even dare to look at her as if she's a stranger.

I stayed still, holding the grip on my steering wheel tight as I stare at Aiden who was just meters away from the car I'm using now.

It's been months. I managed to be professional for months of being with him, pulling off every words and scenes with him, not minding any of my personal feelings so I don't get why does my feelings never change even with the confirmed thought of not being in love with him anymore?

"What if you still love him?" Pixie assumed after telling her my problem.

"That won't happen. Maybe I just pity him? Just anything, I'm sure I don't love him anymore." I shook my head.

It's been a month since I witnessed it and after that, I got confused by my feelings, I tried more to distance with Aiden and as much as possible to avoid him, Pixie's a great friend of mine and I'm sure she noticed it and now she's confronting me about it so I can't help but to tell her the confusion I'm feeling.

I grabbed the liquor on the table and drank it straight. It's okay to waste up here since I'm inside my unit, less damage it will do.

But then I find it boring inside my unit so I invited Pixie to go to the club Aiden introduced us. It would be fun there, it's okay to get waste up since we'll have a two month vacation starting tomorrow— because after that two month, we'll take overnights and travel outside New York for shooting, it'll be exhausting and uneding, they say we might not celebrate christmas and new year with our loved ones so we should not waste the vacation to spend it with our family.

Everything went well, I know I'm getting waste up and actions are becoming more violent with the influence of alcohol but I don't care as long as I dance with the beat of music from the Dj and have fun. I even got shock just by knowing it has a bar beside the club! A band even performed and it was lit.

Although I barely remember anything that happened yesterday because by the time I woke up, I got shock being in the familiar bed and room of Aiden!

"You're awake. Morning." He greeted.

"Why am I here?!" I shouted and covered my body.

He laughed and shrugged.

"You don't remember anything?"

I shook my head as I tweaked my hair with both my palms, trying to remember what happened yesterday.

I thought what I did last time was already enough but then after hearing the words that came out from his mouth, I know for sure that my actions yesterday became more crazier than the last time.

"You just confessed your love for me through singing with the band yesterday," he laughed.

What did you do this time, Racle?!

_________________________

Celestial Aurora