Chapter 14

"Birthday girl! Good morning!" It was my brother's voice that woke me up.

I yawned and covered my head with my pillow. Today is a normal saturday for me but for my brother, it's January 30, my birthday.

"We're preparing for your debut—"

"What the fuck?! Debut?!" I immediately rose from lying.

He nodded, excited for me.

"That can't be right? You're pranking?" My voice was unbelievably appalled.

"Why? Don't you wanna wear gown?"

I groaned in frustration and covered my body with my blanket. I don't wanna do it. I don't want attention especially from my relatives. Many will end up judging me.

Because I know what they'll say.

"She's the girl with ADHD in our family right?" My aunt in her forties, Aunt Grace, asked

Just like what expected.

I held my brother's suite beside me. He sighed, I know he's used to this.

"She's the prettiest in our family, aunt. Turning 18." He smiled.

"Ms. Miracle Valentina, kindly prepare to sit on the chair in front when the host asks." One of the staff said.

I don't get it. I know dad's playing to be the loving father in front of his relatives and business partners but does it have to be like this? Can he simply say appreciation things or be proud of me in front of them? That's more likely convincing rather than throwing an extravagant party yet cannot even act like the father he wants to be painted of. He even seems distant . . . disgusted.

Unless this whole damn celebration was invented by my brother.

I sighed and looked at my brother. He gave me an assuring smile and squeezed my hands.

"Ladies and gentlemen, let us all welcome the debut princess, daughter of the owner of one of the most modelling company here in New York City! Miss Miracle Valentina Clifton!"

Fuck. I hate humans' eyes and stares. It's full of judgement.

I trudged towards the luxury chair prepared for me. I'm wearing a black burgundy off-the-shoulder beaded sequined tulle dress with an a-line bottom, this was handpicked by my brother. He knew my favorite color and I'm not even inform that they knew my size or maybe my body's just common that it can suit every gown size with few adjustments.

I acted normal. I gave them my smile even when I'm uncomfortable. Most are in suits and in their formal attire as if they were here for business partnership not for this bullshits and I understand them.

My whole 17 years of existence, it was only mom, Justine and Pixie who greeted me. The rest didn't care, especially dad, even I didn't give a damn shit about it. And now I don't understand the hype they're giving right now.

Perhaps this whole bullshits was disguise as a celebratory party for my mother's death. After all, it was dad who's exhilarated after hearing her death.

They prepared a performance. Some sang, some dance, even some was just standing just to make jokes. And all I did the whole time was to . . . pretend I'm enjoying. Pretend I love everything about this whole damn celebration. Pretend that I'm in ecstasy with the surprises. After all, this is what I'm good at: pretending.

"Miss Valentina, sit with your family for your dinner to be serve." One of the staff said and pointed the round table with white cloth in front of the venue.

Justine patted the sit beside him and I was thankful he was there. I sat beside him even if dad's also beside me. Dad moved away from me the moment I sat but I pretended I didn't notice that. He seems displeased by the sudden arrangements.

Steak was served in front of us. I don't know what it is called since I'm not interested knowing their names even with the dramatic style on the plate, after all it's just a stake.

Melodious music from the group of orchestras in front started as everyone chatted including our table. Everything to describe was luxurious but I'd rather have a simple birthday celebration with a genuine happiness rather than forcing a smile in front of these massive strangers.

"Happy birthday, Valentina." Aunt in my sixties, Aunt Mary said.

"Thank you, aunt." I said politely.

"She's the mob girl who always curses and create catastrophes right?" Aunt Grace asked.

My dad's girlfriend laughed in an elegant way.

"Yes. Until now even with her age." She shook her head with a smile.

Justine sighed beside me.

Still, a forced smile was on my lips as I pretend to eat my stake.

"Very different from my son, Justine. My son's always a dean's lister." Dad said.

I tightened my grip on my fork as I try to dug my nail on my skin.

"Really? My daughter's a lawyer! Great right?" Aunt Mary bragged.

"My daughter's an honor student too. She said she'll take medicine as her course. I believe she's the same age as Valentina." Aunt Grace uttered with a smile.

"I guess our family's blood doesn't have a blood of a stupid and dumb person." Grandma who was quiet stated.

"Well, Valentina's still in her 7th grade." Dad's girlfriend said.

"What?" They looked appalled.

I dug my nail on my skin deeper.

A water was served on our table by the waiter but I didn't look at anyone, my eyes stilled on the stake.

"Yes. She graduated late in elementary." Dad's girlfriend laughed as if it was something funny.

I can see their gazes looking at me with disappoinment.

"Valentina has many talents. She can paint really well." Justine proudly said, trying to remove the stain on my name.

"Oh god, dear. This is embarrassing. You're carrying our family's name. How come I discover this late?" Aunt Mary's voice was dripping with disappoinment.

I rose my eyes on them. Aunt Grace was clicking her tongue while shaking her head while Grandma's staring at me intently.

"I-I . . . have AD—"

"So you're using your illness to purposely drop your grades?" Aunt Grace asked with full of disbelief.

Dad's girlfriend looked at me as if she was enjoying the view.

I gulped the lump in my throat. I drank the water on the glass straight to wet my dried throat.

"ADHD is not that easy, aunt. We can at least understa---"

"Are you sure she is your daughter, Gino?" Grandma asked.

I wish I wasn't.

"Grandma . . ." Justine sighed.

"Having a mentally ill person in our family is already enough but this. This is far different. No one's in our family is dumb and stupid neither none did drop its grades." Aunt Mary uttered.

"What do we expect. Her mom's a mentally ill person plus that she's a criminal." Dad's girlfriend said.

The waiter dropped its water on my gown. I stood because of that and looked at my gown, there wasn't annoyance on my face but rather I was thankful that I'll be able to escape this hell.

"I'm sorry."

I was shocked at the waiter's voice and I confirmed it when I saw Aiden in his uniform while holding the jar of water.

"Why did—"

I raised my hand to my brother who seemed annoyed. He must've thought I'd be embarrassed but I wasn't.

"I'll go excuse myself." I said politely and turned my back on them.

Thankfully, people in the venue were busy chatting that they didn't notice me getting out of the venue to grab some fresh air. I know Aiden's following behind and I'm glad he did because I'm gonna shoot him lots of questios about his presence.

And when I reached the outside of the venue, I turned to him.

"Why did—"

"Work." He cut me off.

I narrowed my eyes on him.

"Look at this." I pointed my wet dress, trying to act annoyed and irritated but my voice was too tired to even try.

"I'm sorry."

I stiffened when he hugged me. I gulped but I didn't move. He sighed and caressed my hair and somehow . . . it consoled me.

"It's okay." His voice was soft.

He didn't even ask if I'm okay . . . as if he already knew I'm not okay.

My view was pitch black. His chest was against my face but even if everything seemed so dark, the loading pain of my doleful heart lightened.

"I'm used to it." I whispered under my breath.

I thought he was about to let me go when he stepped backward but I was wrong because he crouched and pulled me closer to him, now I can see the night sky with my jaw leaning on his shoulder. My height's small compared to him but since I'm wearing a heels, it's bearable for him especially now that his nose's at the back of my shoulder.

"You should not be used to being mortified. No one deserves it . . . even with its flaws."

Slowly, my hand reached for his waist and in just a snap, my hands were already wrapped around his waist, feeling the consolation of his presence, embracing my flaws with its essence.

The cold breeze of the night sky caressed my thin skin as it howls carrying the fragments of the flowers surrounding the venue of both our stance. The silence intensified the beat of ache from the rhythm of indifference ladened with woes my heart was already used to. 

I guess only for tonight . . . I should at least find the essence of my flaws . . . because that's what his words are trying to say.

With the engulfed warmth brought by his arms, I found refuge in a way my imperfection could perfectly fit under the roof of his harmonious ambiance, albeit the unsteadiness, he became my domicile.   

"Miss Valentina? I think you should go back inside for the 18 roses of dance." 

I sighed when I heard a woman's voice.

Weakling let go of me and motioned his hands towards the entrance. He cleared his throat when the staff narrowed her eyes on him, looking at his uniform, inquiring his actions.

"Let him. He's my boy," I tapped her shoulder and went inside the venue.

I sighed the moment their eyes went on me. The host motioned me to go to the front, it looks like they were all waiting for me. I forgot I was the main character of this whole bullshit, neverthless, I acted just like what I'm used to.

"Let us all welcome the first dance of our debutant. Her brother!" The host clapped.

I fight the urge to glare at him as he's staring at me with a 'revolting look', trying to tease me that he doesn't like it. I really don't understand him, sometimes he's extremely good but most of the time, I just want to punch him with my fist.

He gave me a rose and bowed like a gentleman.

The music produced by the orchestras then started to wave around the corner along with the nostalgic like melodious it brought as we dance.

"You're awful at this." He commented with my weird back and forth pacing dance.

"Oh yeah. So much good for the girl who wasn't inform she'll be having this bullshit dance." I uttered with a fake smile.

He clicked his tongue as we move on the big floor dedicated for my dance. All eyes were on us and even if they're not doing anything, I already feel mentally and emotionally exhausted of it . . . just by thinking of my family's thought of me.

Probably they're saying in their head that I don't deserve to be treated like this.

The boring phase went on. I danced with the unknown strangers handpicked by my brother and not gonna be too judgemental but most are not my type when it comes to looks. That punk knows the certain feature I hate about man.

The two close to the 18th dance was unexpected. It was Jake and Lucas I didn't know was invited.

"I was force in here." That was what Jake said.

"I'm way more better." Lucas' only word when we finished the dance.

"Okay! A huge of applause for the 17th roses of men! Now . . . for the last 18th dance will be handpick by our special and beautiful debutant!" The gay host announced.

Fuck?

Everything was in a deafening silence when the host handed the mic to me. I let out a silent sigh as I gaze the people around me. I saw Aiden standing in the side, holding a tray of water in his uniform. I gulped and opened my mouth.

"Dad . . ." I uttered, almost breathless.

Even though I hate him . . . I still love him. I still thirst for a father's love. I still desire for his attention.

He's still my dad. His blood is gushing in my veins. I can't cut those connection easily.

"Oh! Mr. C.E.O! Dance with the debutant!" The host shouted with enthusiasm.

He stood with a forced smile. It was obvious he didn't like the idea. His eyes were jaded as he stare at me.

I dug my nail on my skin as I tightened my grip on the mic.

"If you don't like it. It's okay. You can stop pretending if you want." I uttered with bravery on the mic.

He stopped midway because of that. Grandma stood with a displeased eyes but my aunts calmed her down.

"No need to prepare this bullshit—"

"Miracle!" He shouted with his raged eyes looking at me.

I scoffed.

I could see the sudden dramatic change of mood from the audiences. They must've think I'm about to show my true colors right now which always meant to be bad and sure, my true color is painted with black, they're not mistaken.

"Bullshit party. Yes, I have ADHD and so what? What can I do about it? I know you hate me because of this damn illness and even my own relatives are disgusted of me so why bother doing all theses bullshits?!" I spat, now my left string of patience exploded.

Grandma stood again and even my aunts stood. Disappointed were palpable on their faces. Even the host wanted to snatch the mic off me but I dodged it off and looked at my father's eyes with full of bravery.

"Party to celebrate for my birthday? Oh great! now you love the day of your most hated daughter's birth? Well guess what, I also hate the day of my birth. Wish I didn't belong in this family where you all are pressuring me to be the successful one just like the others just because of this bullshit last name I'm carrying." I uttered with full of emphasis on every words I speak.

Justine grabbed my hand tightly but I didn't rift my stare to my father.

"Miracle, please . . ." He pleaded

But I'm rebellious.

"You hate me. You hate my mom. So why bother letting me stay inside your house? Why bother throwing all these bullshits? Yes! I have anger issues! I have ADHD! Yes! I'm the daughter you can be ashamed of! Hope this will be a lesson for you to not waste your money to do all this bullshits you're forced to do so!" I fumed and pant as I throw all those words I've been loading all the time.

Everyone seemed appalled but I don't care about them.

I struck the mic on Justine's chest and exited my way with a hastened steps, I want to get out of this suffocating place as fast as possible.

And thankfully, I managed to escape. I let out a deep breath and stopped for a while, chasing my breath, panting for my heart is at its rapid state.

Someone grabbed my hand that made my eyes open and I saw Aiden, without any warning, he dragged me out of there.

I can't take it anymore, I'm impatient and when it comes to uncertainty, I hate it the most so I stopped and made him face him, without any sanity, I landed both my palms on his shoulder, tiptoed and reached for his lips.

Fuck this impulsiveness.

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Celestial Aurora