Chapter 12

"Wooh! That was close!" He panted.

I remained shut. I still can't understand my feelings right now.

His face turned to my direction, he was still carrying me but he already stopped running.

"You still there? Did you fall?" He asked, laughing.

Fuck, Miracle! Get your ass up!

I punched his back hard while he was laughing. He put me down and faced me. I couldn't look at his eyes so I turned to the opposite direction of his body.

"Le-" I cleared my throat when it sounded nervous. "Let's go to café! Yeah! Teach me!" I acted well and pointed the café in front of us.

He tilted his head but I didn't gave him the attention, instead, I went inside the café.

Heart thumping loud against my chest, I'm thankful I managed to give off a composure vibe.

I ordered two cappuccino for us and went to a table of two beside the huge glass window of the shop.

"This will be the last time I'll cut class for you." He said the moment he sat in front of me.

I raised my brow, still, heart in its ferocious state.

He put down his bag and mine and opened the zipper of my bag. I watched him find my textbooks, books, and pens.

"Let's start with the easy one. English?" He asked.

I nodded.

He nodded too and opened my English textbook. Coffee was served on our table but he was busy reading the textbook, maybe he's recalling it. I sipped my coffee as I stare at him, serious while reading.

He pointed back his glasses and licked his lip as he flip the next page of the textbook to the next page.

Fuck. Damn cute and handsome!

His eyes shifted to my direction. I coughed when he caught me staring at him. And that act of coughing eventually changed to a real cough, I feel like chocking after feeling the coffee in my throat.

"You okay?" He stood.

I raised my hand, trying to stop him. I nodded and motioned the waiter to give me his water, thankfully, he gave it to me. I drank it straight up and tried to calm down.

He sat back and stared at me. With his simple stare, I became uncomfortable.

"Continue!" I motioned him to continue and sipped my coffee.

He nodded and shifted his attention back to my book but then he opened a paper beside him and started scratching something. I whispered a sigh of relief and stared at him again.

He looks cute. I felt the urge to take a photo of his stance so I grabbed my phone and opened the lock screen. I leaned both my elbow on the table and pretended to scroll but my hands clicked the camera display and it immediately opened the app. Right, angle, I clicked the camera buttoned.

But then life doesn't always turn out the way we want . . .

The camera's light of my phone flashed along with the sound of the click of my camera echoed between us.

I hate it. I hate how the light's flash glimmered directly at his eyes that it was obvious, I took a photo of him.

He paused because of that and I did nothing but to pretend I was scrolling, like it wasn't me nor did I hear the click of it. I kept my poker face even when I wanted so bad to bury my body down to the deepest land in the world.

"What was that?" He asked.

"Huh?" I pretended.

He tilted his head and looked at my phone's camera. I managed to give him my confuse look even when I was nervous.

"Did you-"

"What? I took a photo of you? No way! Never in your wildest dream! That's just your delusions! I never hear any click of camera or saw a flash of light!" I let out a mocking laugh as I sip my coffee.

". . . finish reading this part on your textbook?"

I spat the coffee in front of his face because of shock. I stood but I think it would be best to pretend as one of the victim so I coughed and pretended to get choke.

Fuck, Miracle.

He grabbed the table napkin on the table and wiped the coffee drizzle off his face. He even removed his glasses off to wipe his glasses. I gulped as I stare at his serious face, wiping the liquid off his precious thing.

Oh fuck this shit, he is handsome without glasses especially with that serious face!

His eyes shifted to mine, I was taken a back at first but thankfully, I was able to pretend coughing though I know it was obvious because he caught me.

"Something wrong?" He tilted his head.

Yes! Something is wrong with me! This fuckingheart of mine is beating rapidly and fuck! I think I know what it wants to mean!

"What's with the stare? You're acting weird." He commented.

I cleared my throat and sat on the chair. I sipped back my coffee like I did nothing while he stare at me. I raised my brow at him.

"What? Continue." I motioned him to keep on going.

He narrowed his eyes on me but I avoided his gaze, thankfully, he nodded and looked back at the paper beside me, like scratching a math or something I don't know as if he's the student and I'm the teacher with this state.

When I confirm that he's not looking anymore, my eyes came back to his. This time, he's not wearing his glasses as he scratch something on a paper beside him. I gulped and can't help but to get drown as I observe his face clear.

Damn . . . what is this feeling? And why is he handsome in my eyes? Is something wrong with me?!

Wel . . . he is handsome--- only a little!

He smirked.

That slapped me. He must've noticed my stare!

"I'm not looking at you! Stop assuming!" I defended myself.

"What?" He laughed and looked at me.

I was taken aback with our sudden eye contact that I panicked and looked down at my coffee to sip again. I thank the cappuccino for being my props, it is really useful that I was able to avoid his eyes.

A playful smile played on his lips as he nod as if he discover something amusing.

"I don't like you! Stop assuming!" I defended again.

"Huh?" He laughed.

I huffed and glared at him.

He shrugged and shifted his eyes back to my textbook but the playful smile didn't leave his face.

"We'll learn this for this subject." He pointed the concept on the book after a while.

I nodded, thankful he didn't tease me 'cause I'm gonna punch him if he did.

He's a great teacher that even though I fidget every five minutes, he patiently wait for me to get contented with my seat and then he'll continue teaching me.

It was hard. I was slow to understand simple logic when we came to math subject but he made me feel at ease, he'll always say "nice question", "good job", "you learn very well" even with the simple question I ask, that boosted my confidence that I wanted to understand the lesson more so I can ask another question for a praise.

Somehow . . . his praises annihilated my self-doubt and insecurities when it comes to learning.

"By the way, do you love coffee?" I asked a random question my mind wants to ask in the middle of his lecture.

He narrowed his eyes on me and pointed the concept again. I yawned. I hate science out of all subject maybe because I blame it for inventing such a called illness as a word for people who were born different from the others that it became the word people hated and disgusted of. I even blame their so called biology because that's what they say where my sick came from- genes.

I know my reasons are baseless and a trash but I don't wanna blame my mother for having such a history so let me blame it to science.

"Miracle. Are you listening?" Weakling snapped his finger in front of me.

"I mean, scientists are genius right? Why don't they create a medication extinguishing fetus? That way, no one will be born to experience judgement, no one will suffer criticism, no one will feel unfairness, no one will feel the way humans feel in this world full of fools. I pity those innocent babies who got molded as the evil by their surrounding. No one's born evil because they are meant to be evil and the worse? It's humans who form them as one." I suddenly spat the irrelevant topic.

He didn't talk. He stared at me so I leaned in closer to him and put my elbows on the table so I can explain further what I want to imply.

"You see . . . there wouldn't be a hero without a villain right?" I asked him.

He nodded.

I don't know where this is going, nevertheless, I continued.

"But unbeknownst to the them, there wouldn't be evil without the story behind their masks."

He tilted his head, didn't get what I mean.

"A villain . . ." I looked at nothingness and smiled bitterly. "Are the ones who suffered the most.

Like mom.

"That in the end . . . they wanted everyone to feel how they felt living in the darkness in a body full of deep scars. They are the ones who chose to live regardless of the vicious world revolving around them."

He sighed.

"Don't you think it's unfair? When it comes to the heroes' stories, they praise them, but when it comes to the villains' scars, they pity them. What about a praise too? For being able to survive even with the annihilated light?"

He shook his head.

"You're validating their wrongful acts. I believe we all have the power to change even with the different levels of painful past. Even wounds heal, injury recover, cuts faded. They might have left a scar but that doesn't mean their future's already tainted with darkness. We can always find the light, all we need to do is to keep on looking for the switch to turn it on." He refuted.

"Still . . . there wouldn't be a villain if they weren't born in this world where darkness always rule. So I hate the fact scientists are dedicating their life to fight for extinction rather than creating a way for extinguishing humans." I came back to the topic of the reason why I hate science.

His forehead knotted.

"How did-"

"Survivals are useless if those who live in this world are full of villains painted by their scars and heroes displayed by the odds. Villains or heroes, they're all the same, they live for the spotlight they wanted. Imagine, if scientists keep on continuing this fight for extinction then it's like we're feeding the lion in its den and paying the clowns in its circus. Pathetic." I cut him off with a scoff.

His mouth parted.

I know I'm bitter about life but I'm blaming it for giving me such a piece of shit.

"How did you . . . know about that thing?" He trailed off after a while.

"What? The extinction? I researched it. I'm curious how to die without being pitied. Suicide is not for me, people will pity me for that, accidents are not for me, there's a chance for survival so I discover human extinction, they say someday that time will come and I'm waiting for that to happen but then unfortunately, scientists are doing their best to fight for it." I shrugged.

He look stunned for a while.

"You have such a wide mind for thinking about that thing." It was either appalled or astonished.

"If I'm curious. Why not think elaborately?" I gave him my smug look.

"So why don't we continue studying science? Maybe, there will be a chance you'll find a way for extinction, right?" He slid the science textbook in front of me.

My lips parted because I realize he's right about that.

"You're right!" I snapped my finger and pointed him with my amazed face.

He laughed and leaned in to mess my hair. I grunted and glared at him but he shrugged and pointed the concept I need to study.

Science is the last subject he taught to me today that it was almost dark but I didn't care since I want to learn. He's a great teacher with a lot of patient. I'm slow but he made me understand things I thought I wouldn't.

"It's 7pm already." He looked at his wrist watch.

I sighed. I don't wanna go home yet.

"Let's go. I'll stop a taxi for you." He stood and grabbed my things on the table to clean it up.

I pouted but I didn't stand.

After putting all my things inside my bag, he closed the zipper and hung my bag in his front while his on his back. He looked at me but I leaned my body against the chair and crossed my arms.

"Let's go." He said.

"What about-"

"No." He cut me off.

I grunted and glared at him.

"What?" He mouthed.

"I just-"

His phone rang.

We both turned to his pocket. He grabbed his phone and looked at the screen. I don't know if I was mistaken but I saw a glint of joy on his eyes when he saw the one calling him.

"Yes, baby?" His voice was soft.

My brows met in rage and eyes daggered a shot at his stance but he didn't see me, instead, he sat back as he listen to the call.

"Hmm . . . I'm studying late. What do you want? Do you want me to buy burger and french fries?" He asked in a most tender way.

Who's that fucking person he's talking too? Is she his girlfriend?! What's her name? Her address?!

"What do you want for dinner? I'll buy anything you want."

So he's going to spend dinner with a girl while I was here and was about to offer him one?! Great!

I sneered and stood.

He looked up to me.

I gave him my cold stare before trudging out of the coffee shop.

"Wait!" He shouted.

I turned to him hut he stopped when he heard something on the line.

"Don't spend a night in a man's unit. I'm warning you." His voice was cold.

I scoffed and turned my back on him to hoof out of his sight.

It must be that bitch with the ice cream stealer?

I raised my hands to make a cab stop in front of me when I reach the sidewalk and unfortunately, a cab immediately parked in front of me.

I told the cab my address and looked back but no figurine of that weakling was shown even when the engine started.

A bullet of pain shot my heart that it left me in anguish as I try to remember what happened earlier. I dug my nail on my skin and stared at the window outside.

I warned you, Miracle. I told you to stay away from the people who has the power to hurt you.

I leaned my head against the cab's window and closed my eyes.

I thought this kind of sensitivity was normal but the pain it produces in me was too painful to bear even with the simple things they do.

Something's wrong with me.

And I confirmed it.

"You have a Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, Miracle. Congrats." I whispered at myself with a bitter smile as I stare at my laptop's screen.

I hate it . . . I hate that it was considered as normal to a person with ADHD.

Will there be a time I'll experience the feeling of being a normal person just like the majority? Why do I have to be the victim of this illness out of all the people out there?

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Celestial Aurora