You're my today, my tomorrow and my forever

Siddharth was glancing at the watch strapped to his wrist, impatient. He tried to distract himself. He had to distract himself. He sighed, trying to catch himself.

What is this behavior, Shukla-ji.

Siddharth felt like laughing out loud at his own behavior. He had never been an impatient person. He had never waited for someone, the way he did today. 

"Aa jaayegi woh Siddharth." Rita Maa assured him, patting his head. Siddharth looked up at his mother, smiling sheepishly. 

"Kya soch raha hai?" She asked, sitting next to Siddharth and Siddharth immediately snuggled into her. Rita Maa ran her fingers through his messy curls. 

"Soch raha hoon, ki kitna badal gaya hoon mein. Shehnaaz aane wali hai, jaanta hoon mein. Airport se nikal gayi hai, pata hai, lekin phir bhi.. uske Airport se ghar tak ke second ek saal ki tarah beet raha hai. I never thought koi itna important hoga mere liye. Shehnaaz jab se aayi hai, mere ke liye itni important ho gayi hai. I don't even remember uske bagair zindagi kaisi thi. I have been with women before, beautiful, amazing women, but with her it's like some forgotten deity of some forgotten land, one day decided to answer all of my prayers, the day we met." Siddharth confessed. "I always thought that it'll be difficult for her to be with me. I was essentially done with being in love. I was 40 for crying out loud!"

Rita Maa smiled. 

"I always feared that it'll be unfair to her. She is just starting her life and I.." He sighed, chuckling softly. "I have experienced everything, every aspect of being in love and I was tired of it. It scared me, the thought of going through everything again, with her." 

Siddharth stopped talking suddenly, silence engulfed them. Rita Maa caressed his hair gently. "Does it?" 

Siddharth looked at her surprised. "What do you think?"

Rita Maa shrugged. Siddharth shook his head. "No. No it doesn't. It feels like a new beginning with her. Everyday.. is like this new chance at everything. I never thought this possible but it was. She smiled at me and I.. I'd do anything for her. It scares me, Maa. It scares me, the effect that this little woman has on me. She is a tiny little girl and she has all of me, wrapped around her little finger. I wouldn't have done anything like that for anyone before. It would've felt like a lot of work, but for Shehnaaz, for her I-- I want to do everything. I want to see every corner of the world with her by my side, with a new vision like I've never seen it before. I want to wait for her to get home. I want to plan surprise dates for her, shower her in gifts.. I-- I see a life in front of me  Maa and it's beautiful. It is so, damn beautiful. She's right next to me, throughout." Siddharth said quietly. 

Rita Maa smiled at her son, so clearly in love and with an angel no less. Could she ask for more?

Siddharth shook his head, laughing. "Mein aisa kabhi nahi tha, heina?" 

"It's not a bad change, I mean, you're clearly happier." Rita Maa said softly. 

Siddharth agreed. "I will just go, check on Preeti and Neetu. Kahan reh gayi pata nahi, phir mujhe hi sun-na padega ki bulaaya bhi nahi!" 

***

It was a good day, a day of celebration in the Shukla Family. Their daughter, Siddharth's moti baby was coming home after her canada trip, after a long month and half. Everyone was waiting eagerly for her to return. Siddharth had called Adith just a few minutes ago and he had been told that they were only a few blocks away. Siddharth had immediately taken the lift to the parking basement, wanting to be the first one to greet his baby, once she came back. The rest of the family was busy arranging her welcome back gifts on the table, some from them and some from her fans. The pile was huge and everyone knew that the gifts would remain untouched, at least for today as Shehnaaz would be too busy meeting her family and too tired from the jetlag to notice anything else. 

In the basement, Shehnaaz's white sedan pulled into an empty parking spot just as Siddharth walked out of the lift. He rushed into the direction of the car, excitement barely contained and a wide, breathtaking smile on his face. Shehnaaz stepped out of the car, only to stumble clumsily into his arms.

She giggled. "Siddharth.." 

Siddharth smiled widely, hugging her closer to himself. "Meri jaan.."

"Haaye Siddharth mein aur Adith aa jaate khud se ghar." Shehnaaz exclaimed.

"Mein aaya toh tumhe acha nahi laga moti?" He asked, faking offense. Shehnaaz hit his chest gently.

"Mera baby mujhe lene aaya?" She asked innocently.

"Airport pe aata toh kal headline ban jaati. Yaahan aa kar hi dil ko tasalli deni padti hai!" Siddharth said, pulling her petite form off her feet and kissing her nose.

Shehnaaz giggled. "Siddharth.. yeh kya kar raha hai!" 

"Workout."

Shehnaaz rolled her eyes at his response.

"Chal na ghar chale, mujhe sabse milna hai! Kitna miss kiya mene sabko!" Shehnaaz whined cutely.

Siddharth smiled, "Aaja!"

A few minutes later, Siddharth and Adith carried her luggage upstairs while Shehnaaz walked behind them, carrying a traveling bag. Rita Maa opened the door for the three of them and smiled broadly.

"Meri bacchi ghar aa gayi!" She exclaimed, pulling her into a hug. Siddharth placed the bags in the entryway.

"Maa, mene aapko kinna saara miss kiya!" She exclaimed, still not withdrawing from the hug. 

Rita Maa patted her head. "Mene bhi tujhe bahut miss kiya bacche. Hamaare ghar se toh jaise raunak hi chali gayi thi." She said softly. Shehnaaz grinned like a child at that response. 

Siddharth moved to stand next to his sisters who he knew were next in line to meet her, but before that Rita Maa told her to stay where she was while she rushed into the temple area to fetch a plate with tilak and diya.

She revolved the thali clockwise in front of shehnaaz and applied a small tilak on her forehead. Then, she kissed her temple and allowed her to enter the house.

As soon as Shehnaaz entered the house, she was pulled into a surprise hug by both of Shehnaaz's sisters one by one. Shehnaaz duly reciprocated the gesture and hugged the two women back. 

Seconds later, Shehnaaz was sitting on the couch, leaning against the back while Siddharth stood behind the couch, pressing her shoulders gently to ease her tiredness. Preeti and Neetu were asking Shehnaaz all sorts of questions about her trip, her project and her experience of working with the people. Shehnaaz was responding excitedly to every question she was asked, rambling endlessly about the tiniest details of her day.

"Pata Siddharth, Grewal sir ne toh mujhe itne pyaar se rakha wahaan, almost har roz mein udhar dinner karti hoti thi. Rabb ne bahot saath diya mera." Shehnaaz said softly, her eyes were already closed but she mumbled softly in prayer as she thought of her trip.

"Rabb bhi jaanta hai tu kitni koshish kar rahi hai. Kitna ignore karega teri mehnat ko koi. Ab bas iss pyaar ki aadat daal le, bahut accha hoga sab tere saath!" Siddharth said softly, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

"Accha toh hoga hi, tu jo hai mere paas. Mera naseeb, meri himmat, meri khushi." Shehnaaz said softly. "Jab se tu aaya hai, rabb meherbaan ho gaya hai mujhpe."

Siddharth smiled. 

A few minutes later, Rita Maa entered the room with a mug of steaming hot tea and handed it to Shehnaaz. "Canada mein aapki aur Siddharth ki special chai bahot miss karti thi mein. Dinn hi adhoora lagta tha uske bina." Shehnaaz confessed with a small pout on her lips. Rita Maa smiled at her. 

"Ab aa gayi na.. jo kahegi woh bana ke khilaungi mein apni bacchi ko. Accha bata, abhi bhookh lagi hai?" 

Shehnaaz shook her head. "Abhi nahi Maa." 

Rita Maa nodded, "Thodi der araam kar le, uthegi toh dinner karenge saath mein."

Shehnaaz nodded. 

***

"Thak gaya mera baccha?" Siddharth asked, cupping her face gently. Shehnaaz smiled, "Thoda thoda." 

"So ja thodi der." Siddharth said quietly. Shehnaaz snuggled into him. "Tujhe meri yaad nahi aayi kullu?"

Siddharth smiled. "Aayi na baby. I missed you so much. Mera toh saara schedule hi bigad gaya tere jaane ke baad." 

Shehnaaz looked at him surprised, "Kaise?"

Siddharth sighed, smiling at her. "Dekh na, tu saara time mujhe apne aage peeche ghumaati rehti thi, mujhse tareef karwaati thi, baat-baat pe hurt hoti thi phir mein tujhe manata tha. Kitna busy rehta tha. Jab tu gayi, toh mera aadha dinn khaali ho gaya. Kya karu samajh hi nahi aata tha!" He explained to her. 

Shehnaaz pouted. "Mein tujhe pareshan karti hoon na?" 

Siddharth nodded. "Of course, lekin mujhe accha lagta hai baby. Tu jab gussa hoti hai, toh tere forehead pe yeh jo lines aati hain, tujhe aur bhi pyaara bana deti hain." He said, pressing his lips on her forehead. 

"Teri aankhein ek dam badi-badi ho jaati hai." He dropped soft feathery kisses on her eyelids. "Teri naak ek dam laal--" He kissed the tip of her nose.

Shehnaaz took in a deep, shuddering breath. "Jab tu aise.." He traced his fingers gently on her face and sighed, closing her eyes. "Mujhe tujhse aur pyaar ho jaata hai Shehnaaz.."

Shehnaaz opened her eyes, looking dazed. 

"Tu itni sundar hai Shehnaaz, mein-- mein har baar haar jaata hoon tujhse, tere saamne, tere liye sab kucch haar jaata hoon mein!" Siddharth confessed quietly. He caressed her face gently with his thumb, watching her with fascination. 

How could someone be so beautiful. 

Before he knew, Siddharth was kissing Shehnaaz like his life depended on it. Shehnaaz responded equally, tugging at his hair gently, kissing him everything that she had. The kiss was full of love and longing. It was full of emotions, raw and adulterated, soft and yet passionate. They poured their silence into the kiss, their words, their complaints of being apart for so long, the restlessness and the wait. The eagerness and the pain. 

They both knew what was coming, and there was no stepping back now, not when they had reunited after a painful 53 days of being apart and thus it was no surprise to either one of them when Siddharth left her lips and started to trail kisses down her jawline, leaving her to moan softly as he left the curve of her neck red with his ministrations. Later, Siddharth held her firmly against his chest while Shehnaaz slept snuggled into him, wearing his shirt, although it was too big for her.

It smelled of him, that's all she needed.

Siddharth smiled at the familiarity of her weight on his body and felt a kind of peace making its way into his heard, something she had taken away when she had left for Canada. It was finally back to him.

Siddharth pulled her closer to himself, instinctively.
Somehow, even after having a fair amount of relationships in his past, nothing had prepared him for this, the passion, the pain, the dependency that Shehnaaz introduced him to. Heck, he could barely sleep without her.

He looked at her again, and he couldn't look away.

She was so beautiful.

Siddharth pressed his lips gently on her forehead. "I love you, Shehnaaz. I love you so much."

His voice broke as he said this, emotions-- tears threatened to flood out of his eyes.

Love destroys you, Siddharth had heard people say. Love destroys you and then builds you anew. To the world, you might look the same but you know, deep down that something has changed.

Love destroys you, it breaks you, tests you, mourns you and then, it builds you, heals you, cherishes you.

Siddharth never believed it. He never believed the sappy stuff anyway, but now as he looked at her. At his Naaz.

He believed it. Because of course Shehnaaz had changed him, built him anew. She had breathed new life into him, introduced him to a Siddharth he didn't even know existed within him.

She had something so incredibly brave and yet so damn stupid. She had loved him. She had loved everything in him. The beast, the prince, the child, the protector, the crazy lover and the insecure dumbass! She had fought for him, refused to give up on him and won him after endless battle. She loved him, like no one ever had, no one ever could. It made him happy, yet it made him scared

It was scary, the thought of life without her.

Siddharth wiped a tear from the corner of his eye and closed his eyes. "You're my today, my tomorrow and my forever. You are everything I know and everything I need. You are a gift, Shehnaaz. You're a gift I will cherish forever!"

Soon, Siddharth fell asleep, peacefully after a whole month knowing that his Shehnaaz was back with him, safe and happy.

I wrote it almost an year ago. I hope you liked it!

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