Beep! Beep!

I bolt up. My hair falls into my eyes as my blankets land in my lap. My heart pounds inside my rib cage.

Beep!

I turn my head towards the beeping.

My alarm clock blinks a glaring red as it continues to beep. I reach over and shut the alarm off, which stops the blinking. I rub my eyes as the time sinks in. Seven o'clock?

That's not right.

There's no way that's right.

I throw my blankets off as I jump out of bed. I run over to my desk. Grabbing my phone from where it sits I rip the charger out of it. As I wait for it to power on I chew my lip.

Why didn't Peggy wake me up for our morning run? She's normally always here at six. I only ever set my alarm just in case. I never would have thought in a million years that it would wake me up instead of Peggy.

My phone finally powers on.

Any bit of calm I had seeps out of me.

There's no text from Peggy.

My thoughts start to swirl around me, slowly closing in.

Why didn't she wake me? Or text me? Is she okay? Is she sick? Did a villain find out her secret identity?

I suck in air, trying to get even the smallest amount in. It's like my lungs have collapsed and there's no hope in saving them.

She's just sick. I tell myself. She's still sleeping and just hasn't gotten the chance to text me about it yet. It's fine. Everything is fine.

As my breathing starts to slow and air finds its way into my lungs I start to get ready for the day. Once I'm dressed and my breathing is normal I head downstairs.

What will mom think? Will she be worried? Will she demand that I tell her what's going on? Will she accept that I don't know?

When I reach the bottom of the stairs I take a deep breath before turning into the kitchen.

Mom stands at the stove with a pan in mid-air as she flips a pancake. I watch as it flies up into the air and lands back in the pan with ease.

Mom must sense me watching her because she turns around with a raised eyebrow. "You slept in," she comments.

I nod, still frozen at the door.

"Where's Peggy?" she asks.

I look away and give her a shrug.

"Would you talk please?" she snaps as she turns back to the stove.

I sigh and move farther into the kitchen. "I think she's sick."

"You think?"

"No. She is. I got a text from her this morning."

"Aw, poor girl. Tell her I hope she feels better." She turns around and shoves a plate of pancakes at me.

"I already did." I take the plate over to the island. Grab the maple syrup, pour it on and start eating.

"Does she need me to bring anything over for her? Soup maybe?"

I shake my head.

Mom raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything. We both know that if she can't care for Peggy when she's sick then no one will. Mr. Maye – Peggy's dad, is always buried in his work. Mom says he wasn't always like that, but after Peggy was born and her mother left it was his way of coping.

Not that we agree with it.

"Well. I hope she'll be okay. It's never fun being sick," mom says with a shake of her head.

I nod and finish my breakfast.

Once I've put the dish in the dishwasher I start to head out. "I'll see you after school?" I ask as I put my shoes on.

"Sure." Her eyes are unfocused, as if she isn't here in the moment.

I sigh. I'm sure she's thinking about Peggy right now. "Bye."

She shakes her head as I open the door. Her eyes are now clear. "Make sure to grab her homework so she doesn't fall behind."

I put on a tight smile. "Of course."

I shut the door behind me a little harder than necessary.

So when Peggy's sick mom cares? Cares about her getting food. Cares about her not falling behind. But when I'm sick she only feeds me, and doesn't ask anyone to get my homework. Leaving it all up to myself.

I sigh.

I should be grateful. I have a place to stay and food in my stomach every night. I like the independence I have, but sometimes I wish she would show some care towards me. Her daughter.

I sigh.

I want someone I can rant to about this. Even just to get it all out and for them to just tell me it will be okay.

I used to have someone. Cam. But he doesn't care anymore. Not since our fight.

I duck my head as the self-pity takes shape.

This is going to be a long walk to school.

I plop down at mine and Peggy's usual spot in the cafeteria.

She still hasn't shown, or answered any of my texts. This is unlike her. I pull out my phone again. I can't help but let my hopes rise a little. But they drop like a rock. Still nothing. She's never gone this long without communicating. I pick at my food as my stomach swirls with worry. I really hope she's okay.

I look around our table.

We sit with a bunch of different girls. There's Kate, the blonde, there's Mary, the smart one, and Georgia, who's a video game frantic. She would love the cosplay place. But I can't bring myself to say anything to her about it. These girls are Peggy's friends. They're on the soccer team with her. The only reason I've ever spoken to them is because Peggy gets me involved in the conversation. But without her here, there's no one trying to keep us all together.

Kate flips her hair over her shoulder and holds her hand out to Georgia who leans over and looks at her nails. Georgias red hair falls into her face, hiding her ocean eyes.

Mary rolls her eyes and turns to me. She tucks a strand of black hair behind her ear and pushes her glasses up before asking, "Where's Peggy?"

I freeze, my fork hovering in front of me. I lower it closer to the plate before answering. "She's sick."

Mary nods like this is usual, even though it's not. Peggy almost never gets sick. "That sucks. Tell her we hope she feels better."

Georgia and Kate, who have tuned into the conversation nod.

"Will do."

Mary smiles at me before turning back and continuing a different conversation with the others.

I sigh and continue eating. Part of me knows I should try and be a part of the conversation. But the other side just wants to sit in silence and wait for them to allow me in.

As I eat I let my gaze wander. I try not to let it wander when eating so that my gaze doesn't land on Cam. But today with no Peggy here I deserve the guilt.

I find him right away. He still sits in the back corner of the cafe like when we first got to high school. The first time we walked in here all the tables were taken except for that one. Something about it being dark and cold pushed people away, but to me and Cam it had been our safe place in the chaotic world of high school.

Now he sits at it all by himself. To anyone else it would look like he's lonely, and he probably is. But to me it's just another knife to the stomach in the ways that I've been horrible to him.

His brown hair hides his face as he sits hunched over his food. He wears a short sleeved shirt that shows his pale arms that reflect the light from the overheads.

Right as I'm about to turn back to my food he looks up. Right at me.

I duck my head as my cheeks get warm.

Did he think I was staring at him in pity? Or trying to figure out if he would talk to me again?

I shake the questions off. I can't think like that. I know he wants nothing to do with me and doesn't care what I think.

I shove the rest of my food into my mouth so fast that I'm surprised I don't choke. When my plate's empty I stand up and leave the table. I don't look back at anyone as I put my tray in the tray-return and leave.

Gosh. I must look like some kind of loser. Or like a lost puppy. I hope that because Peggy isn't here that I'm invisible and no one paid any attention to me. But when the star of the school isn't here, is it possible that people notice more?

I make my way outside. I need some fresh air. Maybe it'll help clear my head and get rid of all these worries.

As soon as I make it outside I glup in the cold air. The inside of the school is like a heater compared to out here. It's nice.

Once I'm less warm, and my thoughts and worries have slowed down I turn to head back inside.

My phone sits heavy in my pocket as I push into the school. I try to resist the urge to check it. I know there won't be any text messages on it.

I make my way to my locker. When I get there I open it and grab my stuff. I pull my phone out of my pocket, and without turning it on to check I toss it in.

Maybe if i don't have it on me the urge to check won't be as strong and maybe, just maybe my worries will soften.

I close my locker and turn just in time to see Cam duck into a classroom.