Tags & Trigger warnings: Emetophilia, vomiting, seasickness

Summary: In which Kazuha's anxiety about returning to Inazuma causes an even bigger problem for him.

Posted to Ao3: August 16th 2021

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Kazuha was more than a little anxious about returning to Inazuma, although he knew that he would not be setting foot on land. At least not yet anyway, so he did have that very small comfort, that however did nothing to ease the anxiety he felt looming over him.

That anxiety was also more than likely responsible for the queasiness he felt as he stared out of one of the Alcor's windows.

They would more than likely reach Inazuma and dock at Ritou's port within the next day or so. Kazuha could smell rain on the air along with the harsh burn of electro.

Getting in or out of Inazuma without skill or luck on your side was an incredibly dangerous affair. When many people hoped to either escape or enter Inazuma via sea travel they would run into a vicious storm.

A storm that railed down bolts of lightning as if the electro archon herself were trying to assassinate them. Kazuha had heard the phenomenon referred to as a nation closed by thunder at one point, and he wholeheartedly agreed with it after being subjected to it himself.

He scowls as he draws away from the window and makes his way to the main deck. The waves had begun to get rather rough and in the distance just as Kazuha expected he could see ominous dark clouds beginning to gather.

Just the sight of them made that anxiety that'd been looming over Kazuha grow ever larger, burrowing deep in his chest the longer he stared out into the ocean. Kazuha looks away when he feels as if his stomach begins to churn in time with the waves.

Closing his eyes for a moment Kazuha takes a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm down, the scent of saltwater and fish filling his nose.

"Are you alright Kazuha?"

Opening his eyes Kazuha sees Aether approaching him with Paimon not too far behind and Kazuha smiles slightly.

"Yes, although I'm perhaps a little apprehensive to be returning to Inazuma," Kazuha told him with a small chuckle.

Aether nodded. "Right, you did say that you fled Inazuma. Sorry to make you come back," Aether said almost sheepishly.

Kazuha shook his head as he glanced back towards the dark clouds. "I would have remained in Liyue if I did not wish to make the trip. Captain Beidou is not someone who would force the issue."

Kazuha scowled as he looked away from the horizon once more, feeling slightly light-headed. Perhaps the stress was starting to get to him more than he'd first assumed. "Excuse me, I'm going to return to my quarters," he said, giving Aether another small smile before he turned and began walking away.

As Kazuha makes his way back to his room on the Alcor he has to stop a few times to catch himself when the ship tilting beneath his feet makes him stumble. He pauses for a moment running a hand over his face feeling more than a little dizzy.

If the anxiety of returning to Inazuma was going to do this to him then perhaps he should've remained in Liyue. But Kazuha quickly discards that thought as he continues to make his way to his quarters albeit a bit slower.

Finally reaching his room the first thing Kazuha does is sit down on his bed with a sigh resting one hand over his stomach with a frown as it makes a low growling noise, the slight queasiness he felt earlier had gotten stronger and despite finally sitting down the dizziness was not fading. The ship felt as though it were shifting beneath his feet, the world moving around him even if he was not.

Kazuha was starting to get slightly worried, something just didn't feel right. It felt as though he was almost drunk, the dizziness and nausea, the way the ship seemed to tilt and sway sickeningly before his eyes, and finally the disorientation that made him stumbled around.

The problem was Kazuha hadn't drank any alcohol today, although he had thought about it to calm his nerves.

Sighing, Kazuha picked up the small book on the nightstand that he'd purchased while in Liyue. Laying down on his bed he began to read, ignoring the way the words seemed to swim before his eyes for a moment or two.

~~~

Kazuha is now entirely convinced that it is not just anxiety making him feel like this.

He lays on his side in bed his arms wrapped around his stomach as it violently churns, low gurgling coming from it as it practically writhed beneath his fingers.

Dizzying waves of nausea washed over him as the ship swayed and tilted beneath him, leaving him barely able to do much but lay there groaning softly as he swallowed, trying to clear the excessive saliva building up in his mouth.

He could feel drool leaking from the corner of his mouth and while it was definitely humiliating and unsightly he couldn't find the strength to deal with it at the moment. The book he'd been reading had been placed off to the side

when the words seemed to sway and blur before his eyes and his nausea had only grown.

Kazuha gave a small hiss curling in on himself when his stomach gurgled loudly and the ship lurched to the side almost violently, his stomach sloshing with the motion. He doesn't bother to or rather he's caught off guard when a loud burp jolts his body, heat rushes to his face as he flushes pink with embarrassment.

Just because he was alone at the moment and felt like garbage didn't mean that he'd lost his sense of humility and self-respect.

Kazuha didn't think he was sick, besides the dizziness and near delirium inducing nausea he had no other symptoms. No fever, headache, or aching joints.

Narrowing his eyes Kazuha stares at the wall for a moment, his mind working sluggishly as a realization slowly dawns on him.

Kazuha didn't have much if any experience traveling on a boat out at sea. Often he did travel on very small boats down rivers in Inazuma that were near impossible to swim through.

But Kazuha had learned early on when he'd joined the Crux Fleet that traveling on the open ocean waters was an entirely different beast entirely. Choppy waters, dangerous storms, the occasional sea monster, or another not-so-friendly pirate crew. But still, his inexperience on a boat didn't make much sense to Kazuha because he'd been just fine on the trip from Inazuma to Liyue, ecstatic even.

So why was he in such a miserable state now? Unable to find an answer Kazuha sighs as he shakily sits up, his hand going to his stomach when the motion has an intense wave of nausea crashing over him, a loud gurgling noise coming from his abdomen.

Kazuha screws his eyes shut, a grimace on his face when the world turns into a blur of colors.

With how violently the ship is swaying, along with the sounds of thunder and rain almost echoing around the ship Kazuha has no doubt that they've officially begun their voyage into Inazuma's deadly waters.

He knew what was coming and what it was like, but at the moment he couldn't help but wish that the sea was a little more peaceful.

Kazuha carefully stands up, his eyes going wide when his legs shake beneath him like a newborn deer and he has to reach out quickly to steady himself. He closes his eyes, swallowing thickly as he desperately tries to get his bearings.

His eyes open slightly and he looks up when he hears a knock on his door. Taking a few deep breaths to try and compose himself, he shakily wipes the drool away from his mouth with one hand before standing up straight and slowly making his way to the door, doing his best to walk without stumbling over his own feet.

Taking another deep breath he opens the door to find Aether standing there.

Aether frowns slightly, a sense of worry growing in his chest as his eyes rove over Kazuha for a moment, taking in his pale skin, the light sheen of sweat covering his face, it seemed as if Kazuha was slightly trembling as well.

"Hello, Aether, did you need something?" Kazuha asked, hoping that his voice wasn't wavering. The ship suddenly lurched forward and Kazuha had to grip the door handle to remain standing, swallowing frantically when he felt bile burning at the back of his throat coating it in a disgustingly bitter and sour taste.

"Ah, right...Beidou said to get you. Since we'll be in Inazuma soon, she wanted to hold a meeting, " Aether explained. "By the way Kazuha, do you feel okay, you look really pale?"

Kazuha nodded slowly although he stopped when a dizzying wave of nausea hit him, practically taking his breath away for a moment. His stomach gave a low growl and Kazuha glanced away, his face flushing slightly.

"Yes...I'm fine, " Kazuha murmured.

Aether merely gives him a small sympathetic smile not believing him.

Neither of them says anything as they make their way to the room on the Alcor where the meeting is being held. Kazuha because he's putting all his energy into trying to keep the contents of his stomach in place as well as not stumbling around like a drunk, while Aether is quiet more because he's worried about Kazuha who definitely doesn't look well.

Kazuha glances towards one of the windows catching sight of lightning cracking across the black night sky as the storm rages on. Although he quickly looks away, muffling a burp into his hand when he feels as if his stomach is churning in time with the violent waves.

"Kazuha if you really don't feel well I can probably tell Bediou-" Aether begins.

Kazuha shakes his head slightly. "I'm fine, " he insisted, cutting Aether off. He closed his eyes for a moment, swallowing hard when the ship bounced and his stomach seemed to flip inside of him.

His nausea seems to only grow while he has his eyes closed because he can still feel the ship moving around him, the floor tilting and lurching beneath his feet.

Taking a shuddering breath he opens his eyes as he and Aether reach the meeting room where Beidou is. Along with Beidou, the Chief mate Juza is there, along with the helmsmen Huixing. While Juza and Beidou seemed to be currently talking amongst themselves Huixing sits at the meeting table, a familiar-looking nautical map in front of her.

Both Juza and Beidou look up when Aether and Kazuha enter. Beidou opens her mouth slightly to greet them but pauses when she notices Kazuha's current condition.

His face was practically white as a sheet, a fine layer of sweat cloaking his skin, he was trembling as well his normal agility and careful way of moving having seemingly vanished leaving sluggishness in its place.

"Kazuha...how do you feel," she asked after a moment, crossing her arms.

Both Juza and Huixing follow her gaze and while they don't show it Beidou can see the concern flare to life in their eyes. While Kazuha is the newest member of the Crux Fleet, quite a few members of the crew had taken to him rather quickly, this included Beidou, Juza, and Huixing of course.

Kazuha smiles slightly although it's clearly tired and strained. "I feel fine Captain Beidou, I am happy to be of assistance," he told her.

Beidou merely sighed clearly seeing through his words, however, she does not push the issue at least not in front of the others knowing that the young man would most likely feel ashamed and embarrassed.

Beckoning him and Aether over to the meeting table, Beidou turns their attention to the nautical map on the table in front of Huixing as they take a seat.

"This entire storm limits the ways we can enter Inazuma," Beidou informed Aether.

Aether frowned. "A storm? Is it really that bad?"

Kazuha slowly nodded, swallowing a few times to clear the near river of drool from his mouth before he spoke. "The storm is created by the Raiden Shogun, Baal. It is her means of controlling those who try to leave or enter Inazuma."

Beidou nodded. "Exactly, the first time we came we took this path to Yashiori island to reach the resistance camp," Beidou said as she used her finger to point out the direction on the map.

Juza shakes his head. "This storm isn't natural, the route we took before is closed off by the multitude of lightning strikes. Sailing in that direction would be suicide."

Huixing gives a small hum, her eyes roving over the map. "Kannazuka is out as well, the shogunate's troops frequently patrol that area for members of the resistance."

Kazuha scowled, swallowing thickly as he felt bile bubbling at the back of his throat and the maps seemed to swim before his eyes sickeningly. "What of Fort Mumei and Jakusto mine," he asked after a moment.

A sharp spike of fear manages to pierce through the fog in his mind, he has to force himself not to gag with each breath he takes. That fear feeds into his nausea along with his anxiety and Kazuha's body tenses up almost unconsciously.

His stomach hitches slightly sending a splash of bile into his mouth, the taste and texture coats his tongue disgustingly bitter, slimy, and sour. Pressing his lips into a thin line Kazuha swallows almost frantically and his stomach makes a soft growling noise that he can only hope the others didn't hear.

Juza shakes his head. "While Fort Mumei works something about that and Jakusto mine gives me a bad gut feeling," he sighed, running a hand through his hair.

Kazuha nodded although he stopped when he felt bile threatening to creep up his throat. "Even many of those hoping to escape Inazuma do not do so from Yashiori island if they can help it," Kazuha muttered.

Aether's eyes widened. "It's that bad?"

"Yes, many people who once resided on Yashiori island have fled. It is contaminated with corruption and malice at the moment," Kazuha explained quickly. Another splash of bile entered his mouth and he frantically swallowed it back, his stomach making a low gurgling noise, pain streaking across it as its rejected contents were forced back inside of it.

Beidou sighed as she looked back at the map. "That only leaves Ritou and Nazuchi beach," she muttered.

"We still have that contact in Ritou right? Chances are we'll need to return later via Nazuchi beach once everything is prepared and we can't do that if we use it now cause it'll be closed off by lighting strikes by then," Juza sighed.

Kazuha is having a little, well more than a little of an internal crisis at the moment. He feels so nauseous that all he can think about is laying down as the ship tilts and sways dizzyingly around him, his stomach following its movements as it churns like a whirlpool, his meal from earlier that day sloshing instead of him.

Kazuha bows his head slightly, his gaze on the floor as he tries to focus on simply breathing around the sickening nausea currently assaulting him. His stomach is in knots, a dull ache settling alongside the ever-growing nausea as Kazuha valiantly fights to keep from throwing up. Kazuha closes his eyes for a moment when the world seems to turn into a blur of colors.

A cold sweat suddenly prickles at his clammy skin and metallic tasting saliva begins filling his mouth rapidly, no matter how much he swallows it won't disappear and Kazuha goes completely still, his breath hitching as the horrifying realization that he's about to be sick hits him a minute too late.

Everyone looks at Kazuha in shock when he suddenly gives a loud, wet gurgling burp bringing up an enormous wave of thick, lumpy, slightly watery pale vomit that splatters his lap. For a moment Kazuha just sits there, eyes almost comically wide in surprise as he pants, threads of drool dripping from his mouth.

He can feel the mess soaking into his clothes almost searingly hot and disgustingly sticky, the sharp sour almost rancid scent filling his nose only turns his stomach further.

Muttering a curse under her breath, Beidou quickly approaches Kazuha grabbing the small wooden trash can Juza hands her as Kazuha's shoulders shake with a loud, strangled retch. He has his trembling hands cupped beneath his mouth in some futile attempt to stop himself from making a bigger mess as he brings up another large wave of vomit, the disgusting smoothie-like slurry fills his hands in an instant dripping onto his lap and the floor.

"Here, Kazuha use this," Beidou told him softly. Grabbing him by the shoulders she carefully guided him over the trash can as he burped again the waves of vomit pouring out of him as though someone had uncorked a wine bottle.

Kazuha's face burns with shame and embarrassment despite the soothing words of comfort Beidou tells him as she gently rubs his back with one and holds the trashcan in front of him with the other.

"S-sorry," Kazuha managed to rasp in the very brief time in between waves. He hiccups before giving a sickly burp that has more pale vomit gurgling up his throat and splashing into the trash can.

"It's fine kid, not like you can help it," Juza chuckled, giving him a sympathetic smile.

"Exactly you wouldn't be the first person to get seasick on my ship and you won't be the last," Beidou told Kazuha trying to reassure the young man as he retched up a smaller wave.

Admittedly Beidou couldn't help but feel some sort of morbid awe at how much Kazuha was bringing up despite his rather small size, the trashcan was almost halfway full at this point.

Kazuha suddenly groaned, blinking away the tears in his eyes, his entire body trembling as soft hiccups and burps continued to leave his mouth, drool dripping from his lips. He does not feel better at all despite his stomach having wrung itself out, the dizzying almost delirium-inducing nausea still consuming him leaving him gagging weakly over the trash can with each breath despite not bringing anything up.

Kazuha desperately wishes he could pass out right now to escape this hell, his stomach is still churning violently and he feels horribly disorientated, the world swaying and tilting before his eyes. But he knows that this feeling won't stop until the ship has finally docked.

Beidou looks at Huixing, Juza, and Aether. "I'll take him to his room to rest for now," she said, although she gives Kazuha a sympathetic look when the young man practically whimpers. She has no doubt that he feels awful and a small part of her feels a little guilty at that fact not only as his Captain but also because if she had forced the issue of his condition and encouraged him to lie down he may not have been in such a state.

"I-it's not stopping," Kazuha mumbled once Beidou began walking him back to his quarters. His words slurring and thick with nausea as he clutched the trashcan to his chest.

Kazuha felt as though shame and embarrassment were etched into his very skin. He was incredibly grateful to Beidou for not only giving him safe passage out of Inazuma but also for allowing him to join the Crux Fleet.

"I'm afraid that we still have quite a bit of the storm to ride out before we reach Ritou," she told Kazuha gently, cringing slightly when he gave an empty yet violent sounding retch that sounded as if it were clawing its way up from the pit of his stomach.

Kazuha groaned, he knew what Beidou said was true but some very small desperately hopeful part of him was still hoping it would just end after he'd thrown up.

He only had two things he could do at this point, take a bath and go to sleep, and hopefully once he woke up again this ordeal would be over.