It all started at midnight. Chuuya awoke from his bed in a sweat, he couldn't breathe.

Chuuya stumbled out of bed and into his bathroom coughing up blood onto his white carpeted room. Chuuya leaned on the sink with his forearms and coughed into the sink.

Soon, his black sink and white marble were splattered with blood. Chuuya felt something else inside of him, he was a little hesitant to use gravity to get it out, he needed his insides. Instead, he erupted into a coughing and gagging fit, stumbling away from the sink for a second. With a final gag, a handfull of red splattered yellow flowers fell into his hands.

Chuuya's eyes widened in confusion and disbelief. Why the hell was he coughing up flowers? Chuuya squeezed the flowers in a fist, before letting go after poking himself with the thorns. That explained why he tasted so much Iron. The thorns had scratched up his throat on its way up.

Chuuya gagged once more, a single, bigger, yellow flower came up. It was still covered in blood like the first batch.

Chuuya tossed the flowers into his trash can and walked to the kitchen. His socks were thin enough to feel the cold of the tile against it, he wasn't fond of the feeling but that was the least of his problems. 

Chuuya grabbed the handle of his refrigerator, he hesitated opening it for a second. He had few pictures on his fridge, the one that had captured his attention was the one from when Dazai and Him had that bet about Arahbaki in that arcade. It was half bent- Dazai's half was bent behind Chuuya's so you couldn't see his face. Chuuya had originally planned to cut it in half and burn Dazai's face into ashes, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He instead bent it the morning after Dazai left the mafia.

Chuuya sighed and un-bent the picture before pulling the fridge open and chugging down some water for his throat.

He glanced up at the clock while he was drinking his water. It was 11:45 pm, Chuuya spilled a little bit of water on his face before he stopped downing his water. Mori-san should still be up.

Chuuya grabbed his phone off his nightstand in the bedroom and dialed Mori-san's number. 

"Chuuya-san? What is it?" Mori-san's voice came through the receiver.

"Boss, you're a doctor right?" Chuuya thought of the flowers in the trash.

"Mhm." Chuuya could almost imagine him filing his mani-cures after Elise-chan walks away after vetoing every dress.

"I'm coughing up flowers. Why?"

silence

"Chuuya-san, I think you have Hanahaki. You're in love with Dazai correct?"

Chuuya almost dropped his phone, "I MOST CERTAINLY AM NOT!!"

Chuuya said, like you know, a liar.

"Well, Chuuya-san, the only sickness I know of, that involves coughing up flowers, is Hanahaki." He could hear Mori-sensei's smug face

"Well, What in the ever-loving fuck is that? What does this got to do with Mackrel?" Chuuya crossed his arms.

"Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love or being secretly in love with someone, where the patient throws up and coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals, Or they can get the other person to love them in return or confess that they like them back." Mori-san yawned, "Goodnight Chuuya-Kun." 

"Night, Mori-sensei." Chuuya hung up the phone.

He, however, unlike Mori, most certainly-not go to bed.

Chuuya stomped around his apartment and he damned Dazai and his stupid face. Dazai has saved him every time he used corruption, he knew he would stop it every time. Because he trusts him. Even after he left, the mafia, he still trusted him.

Chuuya threw a vase across the room in anger, He hated that. He hated Dazai for leaving. But he knew that wasn't true, sure, He resents him for leaving him alone in the mafia, but despite Dazai's wishes, he didn't want him to die.

Even if he voices the opposite, if at all.

That's when the impulse came, He didn't care about the time. He grabbed a glass of wine, chugged it, then stormed out slamming the door to his apartment behind him. He got onto his motorcycle and revved the engine. A smile slipped onto his face, before taking off and made his way to Bar Lupin.  

He didn't know how he knew, he just knew he'd be there. 

Maybe it was the lurking knowledge that every Saturday Dazai is at Bar-Lupin for several hours, even at absurd times.

He rode his motorcycle down the streets of Yokohama making twists and turns with the wind slapping him in the face the entire ride. He only stopped after he rounded the last corner in front of Bar-Lupin. The lights were still on, of course, they were. It was a bar after all. 

Chuuya hesitated.

But Dazai, however, did not.

"Chuuya-Kun? What are you doing here?" Dazai walked out, drink in hand and leaned on the wall.

Chuuya felt scrambled, so he did the only thing that came naturally.

He punched him.

"WHY AM I HERE??? LISTEN UP YOU SON OF A BITCH AND A WHORE-" 

"Tsk, Chuuya-Kun, Calm down, it was only one bottle of wine-"

Wait- Chuuya forgot to count his wine bottles, to be fair, he was busy vomiting flowers. 

You know, the usual norm.

"I-you bitch, BUT I'M HERE BECAUSE-" Chuuya fell short.

WHY the hell was he here? He wasn't going to confess, oh HELL no- confront him? No, then Dazai would figure out about his big fat steaming pile of horse-shit love for him. 

relax.

"I wanted some fucking answers." Chuuya felt his chest tighten.

"Oh, did you now?" Dazai sounded like the flirty fucker he was, and that made Chuuya's blood boil.

He hated how Dazai flirts with every living breathing human, it made him want to slap him. Or slap who he was flirting with. Both probably. He wanted to hop into his lap and claim that no one else was allowed to have him. 

But, of course, Chuuya hated how he wanted to do that. It made him feel vulnerable inside his own body, His own house, his own town, one that his job practically ruled.  Do you know what he hated even more? Dazai's comfort.  Chuuya knew damn well that he wasn't a pushover, and neither was Dazai.

The bad thing about having Dazai as your enemy is that Dazai is your enemy.

"Yes, I did," Chuuya huffed.

"Well ask away, Shortie," Dazai smirked.

Chuuya felt the thorns start to scrape up his throat and flowers pressed against his throat. 

"Why did you-," The thorns on the flowers in Chuuya's throat scraped his throat like nails causing his voice to sound scratchy, "Why did you fucking leave, Dazai?"

Dazai subtlely stiffened, Chuuya always tried his best to read Dazai, at least the things he can. He can't and won't ever fully be able to understand him. Especially not his thinking.

"I didn't think anyone would miss me, plus, I had a promise to uphold," Dazai answered truthfully.

Chuuya ignored the second half of his answer, he was referring to Oda. He seemed like a good person, and he wasn't dumb enough to talk shit about him to Dazai. 

"That's a lie," Chuuya's stomach dropped.

"I had a worshipper, a man who used me for my skills, and one of my only friends was dead. What was left?"

"ME YOU ASSHOLE! YOU AND MORI DRAGGED ME INTO THIS AND THEN YOU LEFT ME!" Chuuya's eyes watered as he screamed.

Dazai smiled, "You, of course, I thought you could've dealt better without me." 

Chuuya's eyes popped as flowers raged out of his throat, he did his best to turn away from Dazai. Chuuya kept coughing, a bouquet's worth of flowers flowed from his throat dragging up blood along with it.

Dazai bent over and frowned, he picked Chuuya up and walked towards Dazai's apartment. 

Chuuya's protests were defeated by the thorned flowers growing in his lungs. 

Chuuya felt himself pass out, the next thing he felt was sheets that were not his own.

Dedicated to (Discord friends):

JustYourTypicalLoner (I forgot ur name sorry bby)
armored_strawberry
Jenni

Brina
Hailey