chapter two.
this is bad.

•

The next two weeks of working my job as a McDonald's cashier flew by. The mysterious cute boy appeared three more times, but unfortunately for two of them he didn't walk up to my register, instead to Sam's. But the one time he did, I still stared much too long than normal and even noticed the dark circles under his eyes and such a distinct sickly look he had. I was worried for a brief moment, but realized he could've just had a cold or something. He also dressed the same way with every visit to the fast food restaurant; dark jeans, converse shoes, and either a t-shirt or a plain hoodie over his torso. I admitted I paid way too much attention to that boy, and I was starting to think I was becoming creepily obsessed. Well, at least I wasn't stalking him or anything. I just thought he was something interesting to look at whenever he walked into my workplace.

It was a Monday afternoon when I decided to tell Dan and Nadine about the unnamed boy. I didn't know why exactly, but I felt like they should've known.

"Guys," I caught the attention of my two friends, who were previously in their own worlds, the older of the two, Nadine, reading a book while the younger, Dan, was sticking macaroni onto each prong of his fork. The two each looked up at me, Nadine raising an eyebrow as if telling me to go on. "So, uh, don't make fun of me, but..." I hesitated before continuing. "I saw this really...really cute guy at work. And he's like, a frequent now."

Dan began to giggle and I sent him a glare, causing him to stop.

"What's his name?" Nadine asked, placing a bookmark into the page she was at and shutting the book on the table.

"I don't know, I haven't really spoken to him," I told my friends. "Well, besides when he's ordering food."

"You work at McDonalds, and he's a regular?" Dan questioned. I nodded, confused at what point the fifteen year old boy was trying to make. "He must be unhealthy as fuck, then. I wouldn't make friends with him."

"Why?"

"He'll probably die of a heart attack one year from now!" Dan found his joke absolutely hilarious and broke into boisterous laughter, his body shaking the lunch table. I groaned inwardly, not finding his words amusing at all. Nadine sent him an annoyed glance, probably thinking the same as me.

"Don't be an asshole," I told the boy. "you're better than that." He was, and it was kind of pissing me off at how shitty he had been lately. I didn't know if it was just hormones or what, but the fifteen year old boy was seriously having issues that were bound to get him into trouble.

Dan shrugged, obviously not taking in the seriousness of my words. "Whatever."

I rolled my eyes but didn't say any more.

🌌

The rest of the day went by seemingly as slowly as possible. What sucked even more was that I couldn't get Dan's words out of my head.

Was befriending a mess of a person worth it? I thought so. Either way, I didn't know him. Just because he probably went to Mcdonalds at least once a week didn't make him some unhealthy dude about to have a heart attack. Okay, when put in that way, that does sound exactly like the case. But that didn't mean he didn't deserve some sort of kindness.

Another thing that bothered me was how I was seemingly only interested because of how cute the boy was. I knew I shouldn't have judged people by their looks, and focus on character instead, but who could blame me for being naturally attracted to someone like him? When my eyes liked someone, my heart would too.

'Only' was a stretch, though. I admitted he was very strange in an intriguing way, and I wanted to know what was the matter with him. I wanted to know the reason behind those dark circles, and the melancholic expressions. I wanted to know what secrets lied behind those circle-rimmed glasses, deep inside the boy.

Fuck, I'm creepy.

If I wasn't in my science class, I totally would've slammed my head into the nearest wall at least ten times. But I stayed calm, deciding to take my anger at myself out on my pink eraser sitting on my desk. My seat partner, Jackson, turned his head to give me a confused expression when I began to stab the poor rubber with my pencil, leaving small grey dots all over it.

"You okay, dude?" Jackson mumbled underneath his breath so only I could hear.

I nodded immediately. "Yup, just peachy." I deadpanned.

"Okay?" Jackson turned back to face our lecturing teacher at the front of the room. Luckily we were in the back, so Mrs. Creek wouldn't notice me brutally murdering my eraser.

My thoughts could destroy me so easily, and letting it all out is how I prevented that. But it was harder to do at home, where I could barely move a muscle without being criticized. That's why I stayed holed up in my room for hours upon hours of the day, not even leaving to get food if I was hungry. I avoided my parents as much as possible, but I was forced to sit with them at a painfully tense dinner every night. My parents loved each other dearly, yet fought often, and most of the time it was over me, bills, or some other bullshit I didn't understand.

My mother wasn't necessarily the issue, though. She treated me normally, albeit with a little bit of emotional distance. My dad, on the other hand, was much different—the best way to describe him was a bully. As long as I could remember, he treated me and my mother like garbage, yelling at us whenever we'd make one small mistake, pushing me against a wall every time I came home with bad grades, calling my mother a crazy bitch every time she tried to fight back.

He was awful.

"Mr. Lee, do you need to go to the nurse's office?"

Mrs. Creek was standing above my desk, her voice low when she asked the question. I looked around and noticed that no one else was paying attention, everyone was too deep into their own work or talking to friends to notice our teacher talking to me. Jackson obviously listened in, though tried to seem like he wasn't.

I noticed my left hand gripping my mechanical pencil much too hard and let it drop to the desk with a clack. I brought my other hand up to feel wet tears falling down my flushed face. I didn't even notice how upset I became, and I suddenly felt embarrassed that my teacher was standing above me, seeing me in a state like this.

"Kyran, are you okay?"

I nodded quickly, standing up. "Yeah, um, I'll go to the nurse, I, uh, don't feel too great."

I collected my things and threw them into my backpack before heading up to the front of the room, ignoring the stares from my classmates. Mrs. Creek wrote me a pass and soon I was sent on my way through the hallway, towards the main office where the nurse's office resided.

My thoughts continued to race through my head as my footsteps echoed throughout the empty halls, everything, including my feet, halting when I approached the glass walls of the main office, right next to the door that led into the nurse's office.

There he was, standing and talking to the principal with whom I assumed to be his mother. He, as in honey-voiced boy, dark circles boy. He kept his gaze trained on the ground, and for a moment I even thought he had fallen asleep, but he opened his eyes once more and looked in my direction.

My heart pounding out of my chest, I took a few hurried steps to my left, out of sight from the inside of the office. My hands and legs felt shaky, and my breath was quick and short.

This is bad, I frowned. Really, really bad.

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