"You... do?" I say incredulously.

He laughs, and I see the light in his eyes for the first time in so long.

"Cute," he murmurs as his thumbs stroke my cheeks and his forehead is still pressed against mine.

"Even after everything I've done?" I ask quietly, voice barely above a whisper.

How can he forgive me so easily? I haven't forgiven myself for being so selfish.

It'll take me a long time to forgive myself for hurting him.

Maybe I'll never forgive myself.

"Baby, I was never angry with you. You didn't force me to take care of you. You were hurting and you were in pain and you leaned on me for support. I never, even for a second, hated you for that. I know now that how we used to be was toxic and destructive, but you've changed. You changed so much since you came back and it's so evident even through the way you carry yourself now. Never apologize to me because I was just as much a part of the toxicity as you were. Neither of us knew what we were doing to the other or to ourselves, but we are taking responsibility and taking steps towards a new and better future. And Clara, you are my future. So yes, I love you. I always will."

Tears pool in my eyes as I stare into his soft brown ones.

My arms come up to wrap around his neck and my lips gently meet his, so familiar yet so new without the darkness behind it.

His arms move to circle around my waist as he pulls me closer to him, neither of us ever wanting this moment to end.

We didn't meet in the best circumstances, and we have both seen the darkness in the other. But through it all, he never once gave up on me. He never once put me down. He was never scared of me. Never impatient. Never unkind. Never selfish.

He not only battled his demons, he battled mine as well.

And even when I hurt him so badly, he still never gave up. He still put me first, staying away even when he didn't want to just so I could learn to love myself.

And that gift is the best thing I could've ever been given.

Because now I do love myself. I understand myself. And I know how to be strong for myself.

I'm strong.

And now I can stand on my own two feet and give my heart to the man in front of me, who's never hesitated to do anything but be there for me.

"Say it again," I whisper against his lips.

He smiles softly, eyes still closed as he whispers it.

"I love you, Clara Bear."

"I love you too, Jin."

He kisses me again, his lips warm and soft against my own. I'll spend every day for the rest of my life being the best version of myself.

For me. For him.

"Let's go eat, beautiful."

"Okay, worldwide handsome."

He gasps dramatically. "Music to my ears!"

I laugh as I intertwine his fingers in mine.

**********

"Tell me about the voices," Dr. Kim says patiently.

"They're still there. I don't think they'll ever leave. But they're quiet. Nearly whispers."

"What do they say?"

I sigh. "That I'm not safe. That I should hurt myself. That I'm not good enough. That nobody needs me."

"And what do you do when they tell you these things?"

I think. Before coming here, the voices would scream at me.

Check the stove. Check the stove. Check the stove.

Off. Off. Off.

Check the door. Check the door. Check the door.

Locked. Locked. Locked.

Who could love you? You're crazy. Your parents couldn't even love you.

Why are you still here?

Don't leave home. There are too many germs outside of here.

And I would give in to it. I'd believe all of the negative thoughts.

I'd let the anxiety flare in my chest, so overwhelming that I can't breathe.

I couldn't stop checking the stove.

I couldn't stop checking the door.

I couldn't stop washing my hands.

I couldn't leave my house.

But now, today... they don't scream at me.

I'm not afraid. I'm not miserable. I'm not crazy.

I smile. "I ignore it. I don't give in anymore. I take a deep breath, close my eyes and remind myself that the voices aren't real. They're not saying rational things."

Dr. Kim nods approvingly. "Do you ever feel the need to self harm anymore?"

"I can't lie and say the need is gone completely. Like the voices, that's still there as well. But I can say with confidence that I won't give into it again. I know the value of my life and I know that I wouldn't be affecting only myself with my actions."

"You're making incredible progress, Clara. Remarkable even. And you're doing it by yourself and for yourself this time which is even better."

I nod proudly. "I love him. I do. But I know that I can't truly love another person until I love myself first. So I know that I have to remember that I'm important and that I have to remain open and willing to heal myself so I can be my best self for him and for me."

Dr. Kim hums in response. "We'll pick up on this tomorrow. Great progress today, Clara."

I smile brightly at him before leaving his office.

"Look at you," Yoongi says, smiling at me as I enter the hallway. "Smiling like that."

"One of these days, you'll stop being a creepy stalker," I tease as I pull him into a hug.

"Not many people would hug their stalker, you know," he laughs as he wraps his arms around me.

"Thank you," I whisper against his chest.

"You're welcome!" He exclaims. "Wait. For what?"

I shrug. "For being you."

I glance up at him as he stares down at me.

"Cheesy. But adorable," he smiles so wide that I can see his gums and I melt before rolling my eyes.

"Nobody should be allowed to have that beautiful of a smile, Yoongs," I say as I squeeze him tightly.

He laughs and kisses the top of my head. "Let's go find your boyfriend."

"He's-"

"Your boyfriend found you instead," a voice sounds from behind me and my heart flutters at not only the sound of the voice, but what the voice said.

Your boyfriend.

I turn my head towards my sweet boy and he's grinning brightly at me as usual.

"Why are you holding my love like that?" He asks, cocking his eyebrow and staring at me.

"Jin!" I exclaim. "Don't be jealous of him. He's my best friend!"

"Come here, my love. How dare you let someone else touch you!" He grins, holding back his laughter.

I roll my eyes before I smile warmly and take a step towards him, but he frowns at me.

"Not you! I want my love!" Jin whines as he walks towards Yoongi.

Jin pulls Yoongi into a tight embrace as I laugh hysterically.

"Get your boyfriend off of me!" Yoongi squeaks, panting as his lungs are compressed in Jin's grip.

"I think you two make a lovely couple!" I coo, smiling widely. "When's the wedding?"

"You're both dead!" Yoongi exclaims as Jin lets him go and we all run down the hallway, laughing like we don't have a care in the world.