You said I was your drug.
You got immune.
It started taking more to get just as high.
Effort didn't appeal.
I understood this.
You needed to move on to stronger things.
I understood your need to always get high.
I knew you were addicted to the rush.
I understood you didn't need me anymore.
Its okay.

I've served my time.
Its not like you left me more used than before.
More insecure.
A little broken.
I wasn't your fix anymore.
I wasn't your drug.
At one point that's all I was.
All I knew how to be...
Yours.
These days I don't know who I am.
While being yours,
I forgot how to be me.
From Cocaine to A dying flower.
Camellia.

- how muses die

•••
Ughh,
So Camellias was one of the flowers he had mentioned liking, (because of the meaning behind them) he kind of changed my chat name to that. Like months after I made the mistake of showing him this poem and he had asked me why I chose that flower. And I lied
😭😭
•••