The arena concert wasn't for them only, but a small New Year's festival with one main stage. The band who were going to close the night had cancelled, which was why Morningowl got the spot with only two weeks to prepare

I was there early, and marvelled at it all. The entire standing area had been made into a festival area, except for the very front, where an audience bloomed out of the stage listening to the band currently performing. There were also a seated audience in the seating area around the arena. It wasn't a full hall, by any means, but with the lights of everyone's cell phones, the effect was beautiful.

I went backstage, my camera bag slung over my shoulder. I had chosen two houses and three objectives for this; it had to be perfect. I saw Damien and John speaking in low voices to one another, laughing a bit, and went to them.

"Where is the fresher half of the band?" I teased, but inside, I was burning with longing to see... well, both of them.

"Oyy!" Damien said.

"Hashirama went out", John answered simultaneously, seemingly oblivious to what I had just said, pointing to a door. "I don't know where Tobirama is. He sometimes disappears before we go on stage, especially if it's something bigger than usual."

I went out through the door which John had pointed out. It was quite chilly, and I wondered what Hashirama was doing there.

I saw him sitting on a flight of emergency stairs attached to a close-by building, smoking a vape that smelled like burnt cotton candy.

"Hi."

"Madara!" Hashirama burst out, looking surprised and not awfully pleased to see me.

And I could see why, because his eyes were red as if he'd been crying.

"May I sit down?" I asked. 

He seemed to hesitate for a moment, then nodded.

I sat down next to him, pressing my hip close to him more out of necessity due to lack of space rather than a desire for proximity, although if there had been enough space, I couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't have sat down as close to him as I could anyway.

"Are you in your stage clothes?"

He looked down on his sweater and jeans.

"I guess so? Shit, should I change? Do festival bands wear unicorn thongs or something?"

"Oh, yeah, absolutely, and I definitely don't say that because I am dying to see you in a unicorn thong!" I said, and Hashirama immediately burst out laughing.

I couldn't help but think that if I had said the same thing to Tobirama, he would have to think about what I had said for one hot second before he laughed. I loved that contrast between the brothers. Hashirama was a social genius and Tobirama was somewhat autistic and I loved them both for each trait.

"I like your stage clothes", I added. "It gives you depth, somehow."

"Thank you", he said.

We were quiet for a while. Hashirama offered me the vape, and I breathed in the burning, sticky smoke into my lungs.

"Don't make a habit out of it!" Hashirama warned. "It's bad for you."

I reached my hand out, touched his hair.

"You too. It could destroy your voice", I said, even if I had no idea if it was true or not. "Be careful. It's your best feature."

He laughed again.

But then, his laugh died, and he looked at me. I kept touching his hair, over and over. He let me.

"Have you been crying, Hashirama?" I asked softly. He sighed, looking away. "I don't want to say you have to, but... You can tell me things."

He was quiet for a while before he spoke.

"It's a lot of things. I have a stage fright. I know it's strange!" he added hurriedly as if defending himself, although I remained quiet, which seemed to calm him down as he realised he wouldn't need to defend anything. "Even if it's a festival, it's still the largest venue we've played in. It's important and I don't feel at home on stage and then I see you and Tobirama and you seem so home with each other and..."

He stopped himself and sighed. I sat frozen, frowning. Whatever I had expected him to say, I had never in a million years expected him to mention me and his brother.

"What do you mean?" I whispered.

He looked forwards.

"I have always been a ladies' man. Tobirama, however, has always been so sure in his sexuality. So certain. In his liking of men, and men only. I have always been the straight brother, but..." He turned to look at me. A torch was burning. I started looking for it before I realised it burned within me. "I like men, too. I just haven't realised until... well, recently, I guess."

I looked down on his hands, laying in his lap, twitching as if searching.

"So you think you might be bi but... don't know for sure?" He nodded. "Would it help you to find out if we kissed?"

If he was surprised at the question, he didn't let it show. Instead, he nodded.

Then, slowly, with his eyes closed, his head seductively tilted to one side, he leaned forwards, and I made a trust-fall and let my lips fall on his.

It was the softest kiss, like two feathers colliding in a sunset breeze. His lips moved softly on mine, mine on his, lavender blowing in a field. He didn't ask for my tongue and I didn't ask for his; our lips were happy the way things were. His hand went to my neck, supporting it softly, while mine remained at my sides, so my neck and his hand and out lips were our only point of contact.

We kissed for a long, long time, until our lips were swollen and red and wet. It was all the more frustrating because we didn't allow ourselves to touch any more than that light hand of his on my neck and our lips on one another's. Every time I considered ending it, a voice inside me said just a little more.

"Hashirama."

Both of us jerked at the dark voice, turning to it. 

It was Tobirama.

Shit.

"We're about to do sound check. You better come."

But Tobirama wasn't looking at his brother, whom he was speaking to. He was looking at me. In his eyes was not disappointment or anger or even sadness, but rather something that said I knew it, I knew you were too good for me, I knew I wasn't good enough for this.

"Tobirama, wait", I said, but for what? What would he wait for? And what about the man next to me, whom I had kissed for how long, exactly? God, how long had Tobirama been watching?

But Tobirama had already disappeared.