THREE MONTHS LATER

     "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR TALIA, happy birthday to you . . ." 

     I blew out the seventeen candles on my pink-frosted cake, and I made a wish. The sweet scent of smoke drifted up into the night air. Monroe squeezed my waist, her fingers trailing down the side of my hip. The touch alone made me breathless.

     It was our last night together, before she moved into her apartment in New York City for good.

    "Fuck it," said Aaron, startling me from my thoughts.

    I blinked my eyes open. "Fuck me," said Skylar, already cutting into the pink cake with a knife.

    "Fuck this," said Cody, stealing the first slice.

     I couldn't help smiling, just a little. "Fuck that."

    My birthday party―a surprised to everyone but me―consisted of Monroe, Aaron, Skylar, Cody, Claudia and Olivia. My parents were staying in a hotel for the night, and Claudia had blackmailed Skylar into a sleepover, in which they would be watching the Saw film series until ungodly hours of the night. Which left me and Monroe, just for tonight, completely alone. I was both dreading and looking forward to it. Because although I loved Monroe, everything would change for good once the night was over.

    "So, are you gonna bing-bang-bong all night?" said Claudia.

    Skylar handed Monroe and I each a slice of pink cake. Sugar-dusted strawberries had been submerged in its creamy white filling.

    "Claudia!" I scowled. "You can't just―"

    Monroe pulled me by the waist, and I nearly melted. I had the faintest suspicion she had just winked at Claudia. Claudia hummed and, with a bounce to her step that made it look like she was skipping, secured the seat next to Skylar's. 

    "Are you nervous to be a senior?" Monroe asked, once were alone at the table.

    To be honest, I'd been more worried about Monroe leaving than to even consider what my life would be like in twelfth grade. "Not really," I told her. "Are you nervous about being a university freshman?"

     "A little," she admitted, with a slight enough smirk that made me think she was only saying it for my benefit. Was it healthy to love someone this much?

     "Did you decorate this place?" I asked.

    Monroe had been the one to lead me here. I'd asked her what on earth she could possibly want in my backyard, and then . . . I'd had to gasp, because everything was just so beautiful. The tree leaves had been fluttering, drenched in moonlight and night sky. Fairy lights had been laced through the wooden slats of the fence. Little tables and chairs had been arranged around the grass, with picnic blankets underneath. There was even an enormous, retrograde radio on top of the patio, blaring music from the seventies and eighties.

     Monroe grinned. "With a little help from Claudia."

     "Oh, hold on." Pink strawberry frosting smudged the corner of her lip. "Let me just . . ." I licked her. And burst out laughing at the expression on her face.

     "What did you . . ."

     "I wanted it to be sexy," I moaned, pressing my face into the side of her neck. "Like that time at Thanksgiving with the strawberry pie . . ." 

     Monroe tried not to laugh, and failed. Miserably. 

     "Hey, lovebirds!" Cody shouted. They had spread a blanket out beside the biggest tree in the backyard. "Get over here!"

     And because Monroe was a terrible, awful, evil-hearted human being, she happened to whisper in my ear, "By the way, Talia, I was hoping to teach you more about scissoring tonight."

     Because how the fuck was I supposed to pay attention to anything after that?

     I followed Monroe towards the group and, for most of the night, we spent our time in a makeshift circle on the grass. Stars blinked steadily overhead. I Wanna Dance with Somebody played suspiciously often, and I had a feeling Claudia's smirk had something to do with it. She'd always loved Whitney Houston. 

      Conversation strayed from fake proposals to sex positions and even to a new bucket list for senior year. I tried to make sex as strictly off-topic as possible, considering my little sister was here, and so was Olivia―I knew she'd be uncomfortable, considering her religion―except Claudia always found a not-so-subtle way to mention bing-bang-bonging. My sister was dedicated.

     Around one or two in the morning, Claudia at last fell asleep on Skylar's shoulder. Skylar took that as their cue to leave. She nudged Claudia awake and pecked me on the mouth, whispering, "Have fun, kid."

     Aaron was the last to leave, and he pulled me into a massive bear hug. Squeezing me so tight my feet lifted off the ground. 

    "Easy, buddy," I said. "I'm not your quarterback football boyfriend."

    "I'll see you tomorrow," he promised, and kissed the top of my head. "Happy seventeenth birthday, Tal."

    For a moment, or maybe forever, I felt frozen in place as I heard him leave, locking the fence shut behind him. The night air rippled around me, and I held my arms close to myself. Wondering about the universe, wondering about the stars, wondering about the secrets to humanity. We were all just meaningless. It might have been a pessimistic thought, but it filled me with something soft and wonderful. We could give meaning to whatever the hell we wanted. 

     I opened my eyes and found Monroe staring at me. Smiling faintly, illuminated by the twinkling fairy lights, she was more beautiful than I had ever known her. In that moment, she was my meaning.

    And from that old, oversized radio, a single song began to play: I feel so unsure . . . as I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor . . .

    "Careless Whisper?" I said, and I couldn't help laughing.

    From across the backyard, she outstretched her hand. 

    So I'm never gonna dance again . . . the way I danced with you . . .

    "Come on," I said, making my way towards her. "Stop being so stupidly romantic. You're going to ruin me for all relationships in movies."

    The moment I placed my hand in hers, she spun me. Breathless and dizzy, I landed right where she'd wanted me to: with her hands on my waist and my lips on hers. I smiled against her mouth, and we started moving in rhythm to the music.

    Tonight the music seems so loud . . . 

    Tomorrow, when she left for New York, I would realize the difference she had made in my life. Claudia would hug her tightly, longer than even me, until I had to physically pry her away. And at the airport, Mom would be the one to help carry her luggage. Just before Monroe boarded her plane, she would hug Monroe and even cry. A year ago, I'd been so adamant I could never like girls. My mom had told me it was just a phase, that it wasn't natural or normal. I didn't know it yet, but when the time came for Monroe's flight to depart, Mom and I would both be crying over the same girl. Me, because I'd miss Monroe, and Mom―because she knew how much Monroe meant to me. 

    But tonight. Tonight, I whispered, "Forever, yeah?"

    "Forever," Monroe agreed. 

    Two girls dancing to Careless Whisper, alone in a fairylit garden. It was a perfect moment, one I would preserve in the amber and glass of my memory for as long as I lived.

    "So," I whispered, as she twirled me once more beneath the starry sky. Her lips were so close to mine I could almost taste the strawberry and mint flavour. "Are we going to kiss or what?" 

     Monroe's jade-green eyes flickered with silvery moonlight. Her breath was warm and sweet. The urge to have her mouth against mine thrummed in my veins, overwhelming everything else.

     "I'm not gay," Monroe said. "I think my girlfriend might be, though."

     I couldn't contain my smile. "Your girlfriend being . . ."

     "You."

     "Me?" I grinned wider. 

     When she kissed me at last, the best part of it wasn't the feel of her soft, lush lips or the taste of strawberry on her tongue. It wasn't her silky black hair between my fingers or her hands on my butt. It wasn't even the soft hitch of her breath or the racing of my own heartbeat. 

     Kissing Monroe had once been only a dream to me. Now, the best part was the fact that I didn't have to wake up.

***

The end. Roll the credits, folks.

From the moon and back,
Sarai