Nicole and I are getting ready to go out to the club, and we are looking forward to it. Unfortunately last weekend we basically spent the whole time being snowed in, and Friday night she and Henry didn't get back till almost midnight, even though he left just before five to pick her up. By the time he got there it was so late they decided to have dinner at a diner close by. I ended up eating alone and falling asleep to the TV in the living room, because I felt safer there for some reason.

Tonight is just a regular Saturday no theme. I missed Thursday's theme night because of work, but I was okay with it. I've been working a lot this week as Charlene has been MIA. I've taken at least four of her shifts this week, but it's okay because it's more savings for me.

I decide tonight to pull out the full gothic look I do so well. I've always found fishnets and plaid so much fun. I've got a cute purple dress in the closet and several pairs of fishnets at the bottom of my drawer. Pulling them all out means I get to wear my favorite black docs. It's been a while since I've gone all out with makeup and all, but it's also been a while since I've been me. The other night when I was by myself I made a promise that from here on out I'd start bringing out the Faith that I used to be. She needs to come back because that girl was kick ass and really took shit from nobody. If I do move forward with this plan I need to be as cold as I can be.

Nicole pulls her blue hair up and then back down, she's wearing this awesome cosmic looking dress and in my opinion she looks hot with her hair pulled back in that dress.

"Up," I tell her.

"Really?" she asks.

"Yup," I tell her with a smile.

"Henry says that about this dress too," she tells me.

Ah Henry. Henry and Nicole have been flirting with each other for years. I actually kind of wonder if they did more than drive last week. Nicole didn't say much and both of them say it was just a long drive, but I'm not so sure.

We finish getting ready and walk to the club. The snow is still piled high on the sidewalks in huge piles along the way. It's bitter cold probably almost twenty degrees and here I am walking outside in fishnets. I probably should have thought this one through. We get there in record time because we practically run.

Inside Henry gets us all set, we are one of the first inside so it's easier to get our drinks right away. We down about three before heading off to the dance floor. At first we are one of the only two on the dance floor, but as the first hour passes that changes. I'm getting lost in the music and loving the song selections tonight, they've got some oldies and rock and I'm loving it. I also notice a different DJ from the last couple of nights and this guy is definitely more into rock than club music.

The dance floor gets even more crowded by the minute, Nicole and I are literally on top of each other. I spin around and start to dance with my back to her when I notice Jace. He heads right for me smile on his face like he didn't stand me up the other day. I'm trying to debate on how to play this one out, do I act cool or angry?

"Hey," he yells over the music.

"Hey," I yell back.

"I'm sorry about the other ..."

"It's whatever," I say shrugging. Cool, I guess I'll play it cool. I smile at him like it doesn't matter and turn to dance with Nicole.

"Are you actually mad?" he questions placing a hand on my shoulder.

I shrug him off and laugh, "For what? Nah. I didn't wait that long anyway," I lie.

"Oh," he says.

"Yeah, it's cool," I tell him going back to Nicole.

He doesn't say anything but I can still feel him close to me. When I turn I see him dancing with some random girl again. She's feeling him up and he's watching her grind on him happily. I roll my eyes, he really isn't effected by anything. I go to turn back around and when I look some guy is in Nicole's spot. I look around but don't see her. The guy has his eyes on me watching me dance waiting for me to engage with him, but I don't. I turn half way so that he knows I'm not interested. It's getting so crowded that I can't even see Henry at the bar. That was always my plan if Nicole and I got lost as long as I saw Henry in my view I'd be okay. He's not in my view and I can feel my chest tighten. I turn in the other direction hoping Nicole is there, but she's not.

I spin back to where that guy was and he's gone. In the far distance I notice a head of dark hair that looks familiar, too familiar. I start to panic, it's can't be. He's not allowed near this place or this whole area. He's now blocked by someone a lot taller than me, but he's headed in this direction. I try to see his face but I can't and that's really making me panic. The pain in my chest gets worse by the minute, so bad that I can barely breathe. I haven't had this much anxiety since one of the first nights back at the club. I'm starting to sweat and not the good kind from dancing. My hands shake with such force that I can feel my entire body shake with them. Knees grow week and I collapse to the ground right onto my ass. I pull my legs into me while people bump into me. I don't look up because if I do I know I'll see him. I keep head rested on my knees and my eyes closed. He can't find me down here, I'm safe. I'm jolted by the feeling of someone touching my shoulder. I gasp for air as tears fall and it makes the pain worse. I expect to see the guy when I look up, but it's only Jace. His eyes are filled with worry, which confuses me.

"Are you okay? I saw you go down," he tells me.

I try to talk but nothing comes out not even a squeak, but I'm not sure if that's entirely true because the music is too damn loud to think. I shake my head, I know I need to find Nicole, but I can't move. My body is locked into place. I start rocking slowly. I'm pretty sure my little experiment is over at this point because he'll probably think I'm too weird.

"Faith look at me," I hear him yell over the music.

I shake my head.

"Faith!" he says again.

When I don't answer his rough hands touch my cheeks as he carefully positions my face so I'm looking at him. His hands are warm and the warmth somehow spreads all the way down to my toes calming me, but it's not enough. My light sobs have turned into ugly ones and I keep gasping for air.

"Hey look at me, okay?" he says.

I nod listening to him because it's the only thing I can do, and maybe his familiar face will help me stay calm. He takes his hands off my face and kneels on the floor in front of me.

"I need you to take deep breaths okay?" he says.

I nod again unable to speak. I see him take a deep breath like he's coaching me through it. I follow along attempting to feel better. He keeps telling me to breathe in and out. It's kind of working because I finally feel like I can talk and tell him what I need to make this all go away.

"I need Nicole," I tell him over the music. "Go get her please," I plead.

He leans down attempting to pick me up and I swat him away. He leans down lips lingering on my ear, "I'm not leaving you here just let me pick you up. I promise I'll find Nicole, but I need to get you out of here before someone tramples you," he says.

I look up at him and nod. His eyes find mine again and they ask for permission, I respond by not looking away. He carefully picks me up cradling me like a child. He adjusts me while bumping into several people. This place is overcrowded tonight more than usual. I stare off to the side and I swear I see the guy again. Without even thinking about it I bury my face right into the crook of Jace's neck. I swear for a second even over the loud bass I can hear him suck in a breath.

"Sorry," I whisper loudly into his neck.

He doesn't say anything just starts forward through the crowd. I'm still trying to take deep breaths to calm myself and in the process his scent surrounds me, it's a sweet candy like smell mixed with a bit of sweat, but somehow it's calming. He's yelling at people to move out of the way. I have a feeling we are heading straight for the bar and I'm pretty sure he's decided to take me over the Henry. I guess it's easier than searching for Nicole in this chaos. I hear someone yell "fight" as Jace gets bumped nearly dropping me. His arms hold steady and he shifts again.

"You okay?" he asks near my ear.

I nod into his neck as he continues to make his way to the bar. A few seconds later he stops and I can hear him yelling to someone, Henry probably.

"Leave her here," he yells.

"I'm going to put you down on a bar stool, Henry is right here he's got some water for you, okay?" he asks in a tone I haven't heard since meeting him. It's the most sincere I've ever heard him, maybe deep down he might actually care for others.

As I slide into the chair Henry hands me the water and I gulp it down so fast. My throat is dry and hurts so bad so I sign for more. He gets another for me and slides it over.

"I'm going to find your friend okay?" Jace says taking my hands in his. The gesture confuses me. I'm actually kind of thankful he was there.

I look up at him and nod. I take another sip as he rushes back into the crowd. At this point everyone is going right for the fight. I just hope Nicole isn't in that mess. I take another sip and not even a second later I see Jace with his arm around Nicole. She looks just as freaked out as me. Henry prepares a second water and the minute she sits down he's handing it to her. I notice out of the corner of my eye Henry putting his hand over hers.

"How are you feeling?" Jace asks.

I shrug, I'm not. I'm numb. I'm not ready to tell him my story about why I'm like this, and I probably never will. I'll just play it off like I'm claustrophobic or something, he'll buy it. I turn to Nicole.

"I want to go home," I tell her and Henry directly.

"Let me get someone to cover my shift, I'll take you two home," he says.

I nod, although I don't want Henry to lose a night, but I'm not going back to that apartment without him.

"I can take them," Jace offers.

"I want Henry to take us," I tell him.

I look at his face for a reaction and it's one that I'm not expecting. He looks offended like I should have asked him, not Henry. I'm actually shocked because I figured he'd just be like okay whatever.

"Thank you for your help," I say hoping that I'm sounding sincere.

"Sure no problem," he says his tone changing a bit. Wait is he mad? "I guess I'll catch you around," he says.

He says goodbye to Nicole and Henry and starts to turn. Clearly I'm not thinking straight because my hand reaches out to grab him. For some reason my stupid conscious has to actually thank him in a sincere way. Who knows maybe it'll help with my little experiment.

"Jace I'm sorry," I tell him.

He shrugs like he doesn't care and suddenly he's back to the same Jace I met a few weeks ago, cold and uncaring.

"Whatever," I tell him spinning my stool around. Still torn up from the events of the night my body responds with more tears. I'm not crying because he's a dick I'm crying because after all the progress I'd made with getting my life back on track has slipped away in the course of only one night.

Henry comes back a few minutes later telling us to meet him at the door. While getting my jacket I see Jace on the phone outside and it looks like he's yelling. He takes the phone from his ear and it looks as if he's going to smash it, but he stops before throwing it.

"Hey, you ready?" I hear Henry say from behind us.

"Yeah," Nicole and I say in unison.