I'm not sure what happens between when I start crying and when I wake up in my bed, but I know it's been a while. The lights are out and it's dark outside. I can hear voices right outside my room. I hear Henry, and Nicole. I think she's yelling at someone, and then I hear Jace. He's still here. I can't make out any of the words because their voices are a bit loud. I do hear Nicole say "fuck off" quite a few times. I love that she has my back. Henry tells her to calm down and she yells at him too. I want to get up and tell them to be quiet, but my head hurts a lot.

I hate feeling weak like this, it sucks. My eyes focus on a small white piece of paper sitting on my pillow. I reach up for it as I hear voices raising outside my door.

"She'll burn you Jace, she may be weak right now but she will burn you!" Nicole yells.

"Put those claws away, I'll step back," he says.

"Nicole, why don't you ..."

"Henry don't even tell me what to do right now, he can't just come waltzing back in..."

"I know. Why don't you just go take a nice hot shower and calm down," he says.

I hear her babbling like she's mocking him as her loud footsteps head for the bathroom. The door slams shut and I can picture the boys cringing.

"I'm sorry man..." Jace starts to say.

"Look, I get it okay. Just if you're going to leave again just do it without the letter this time. Just go tonight and don't contact her at all. She needs something stable in her life. Her parents are assholes, her sister after not talking to her for years now confides in her but had to go away for an eating disorder, she's worried what will happen when that guy is out of jail in a year, and then there's you who just up and left her. She's got us and she has her aunt and uncle, but I know she worries about losing that too if Nicole and I get too serious. You can't just fuck her and then leave man, that's not the kind of girl she is. If that's all you're looking for Faith is not your girl. She deserves a rock in her life, and if you can't be that for her then stay away," Henry says defending me.

I love that man so very much. If only I could find another Henry, maybe I should clone him. It's quiet for a few minutes.

"I get it, I'll go. Can I just say that I really hope you take the job at the club I think you'd really do well with it. I'm sorry that I hurt your friend, truly I am. I'm going to peak in and say..."

"No, no goodbyes you fucked that up last time. You should probably just go," Henry says.

I don't hear anything for a few moments. I wonder what he's thinking, I also hope no one is attacking each other. I hear light footsteps and then the front door open and close. My door opens slowly and I close my eyes to pretend I'm asleep. I clench the paper in my hand covering it so he can't see. The door closes and I'm left alone again.

Dear Faith,

I am so sorry I left the way I did. Please give me some time to explain. I don't do feelings and shit, but you're in my head like that clingy chick from Wedding Crashers. I can hear her voice saying, "I'll find you" and you seem to always find me, well in my head anyway. I'm all sorts of fucked up, but just give me time to figure out how to tell you why I left. Just realized I probably shouldn't have compared you to the clingy chick because you're not clingy, what I meant was, damn it! I should just stop talking or writing now before I fuck this up any more than I already have. I need 2 days tops and I'll tell you everything. I promise. If I hurt you galaxy girl I apologize and you know I never do that unless I mean it. Just wait for me, k?

-Jace

***

I sneak out before Nicole and Henry wake. The door to Nicole's room is closed and I don't want to know what's going on behind it. I need to release some tension and since dancing is out of the question right now because it's eight in the morning I'll go for skating.

When I get to the park it's pretty empty, it's early but I can already feel the warmth of the sun. I know by ten this place with be packed, for now I don't mind the quiet. I need the quiet. I need to think. I can't believe he compared me to that clingy girl, but I think what he meant was that I'm just always in his head. He tries to forget me but I just keep crawling back. I can hear her voice too that red head from the movie telling Vince Vaughn that she'd fine him. So I get it, I find it funny that he'd think I'd be offended by that, like I wouldn't get it or something. He should know me by now. That's the scary part I think he does know me a little too well.

I pull my skates over my feet, grab my helmet and start warming up a bit by skating around. The city is full of sounds, the sounds here never stop. It's not like it was at the cabin upstate, here there are always cars or people walking around. Some people are just going to bed and some are just waking up. I watch the traffic grow heavy with each passing minute. It's a Friday so the commuters have come out in full force.

"Thought I was the only one who skated this early," a familiar voice says.

I turn to see Matt skating over to me. I didn't even notice he was here, he must have just arrived. Wonder if this is the universe telling me something. Matt likes me I know this, but I've been pushing him away since the incident. I'm not sure why I push a sweet guy like him away and let in a guy like Jace. Jace was only supposed to be an experiment of sorts, and now it's way too complicated for me to comprehend.

"Had to skate off some steam," I tell him.

"Want to talk about it? Or Skate about it?" he asks.

I laugh, Matt's sweet.

"Skate, it's complicated," I say.

"If you want complicated, try I just had a date with a girl who get this.... dated my uncle. My Uncle tends to fall for the younger girls, he's only forty but damn," he says.

I laugh. Well I guess mine is kind of similar not so creepy, but similar.

"I dated my cousins toxic ex," I confess.

"Ah! That could be complicated. Was she in love?"

"Very much. He shattered her," I tell him.

"Ouch," he says.

"Right? Stupid me," I laugh.

"Nah! Shit happens," he tells me.

I hop up onto the rail and glide down, he follows behind me. I land nicely and then he does shortly after. I skate around and go for it again.

"I think our issues require some half-pipe fun," he says.

"Would you think I was a total wuss if I say I haven't fully mastered it?" I ask.

"Quarter?" he asks.

I nod.

We skate over to the other side of the park and head up the ramp. We both wait for each other and then Matt looks over and starts to count down. We glide down and I'm a bit rusty, but manage not to fall on my ass.

"I'll show you some tricks to conquer the half?" he says.

"Okay," I say.

I'm determined to do something to make me feel good today. If I can master this than I can feel better about myself. I've been contemplating for a while maybe reapplying to Julliard or another dance school. I miss it, and I need to get my life on track. I think I'll make myself a wager if I can master this half pipe then I can do anything. I want my life to be different, I need to overcome things that I fear. I'm tired of holding back. I probably should have attempted to audition after my ankle heeled, but I was angry with the world. I'm still angry with the world, but today is a new day and I want to start reaching for the sky. I need to get my mind off of the trial and off of Jace. I know I have to do a lot of things like go back to dance before I can even think about it, but I think I might want to. Even if it means stepping out of my comfort zone, my once safe space of New York. Now I think living here might just be holding me back from what I could do.

Matt's already on the half-pipe he's showing off his insane skills. I'm in awe he's amazing at everything. From rollerblading to skateboarding this guy has got it. He could be Tony Hawk if he wanted to be. I get to the top and wait for him to come back.

"So go up and come down backwards," he tells me.

"Okay, I'll try," I say.

I go down and the wind rushing through my hair feels good. I love the way my stomach drops when I skate down. My body drops back down and I fall down with it. Damn. I used to be okay at the halfpipe before my injury now I'm just terrified I'll injure myself again.

"Increase the space between your feet," he tells me when I get back up.

I nod and try it again this time spreading my feet a bit apart, and it works like a charm. I do it several more times. I watch Matt and start to copy what he's doing. It's been a while since I've tackled this, but everything is slowly coming back. We start skating at the same time and I think I'm getting the hang of it. We skate for another half an hour before more people start coming.

"Do you want to go get that coffee? Or lunch, maybe it would be brunch at this point?" he questions rubbing his legs.

Reach for the sky Faith. I nod and smile, "Sure, I'd love to," I tell him.