no i didnt draw the starscream x megatron thing. credit to the artist

it was a beautiful day. shrek woke up, the bloodstains still visible on his face from when he shot donkey. he cleaned his face and did his skincare routine, placing some cuCUMbers on his eyes and layed down in the sunlight of his backyard. 

a scream was heard from the streets, and then the screeching of wheels of a skidding car. a crash and bang was heard after. shrek took the vegetables off his eyeballs and got up and lookdd to the road. 

ed sheerans were running everywhere, the clones were tearing the whole city apart. corpses of civilians littered the streets,  and one went flying when an ed sheeran flung them. another ed sheeran caught the person in it's merciless jaws tore them apart.

shrek backed up slowly into the safety of his backyard. they havent spotted him yet.

suddenly, a loud bang was heard again. but it was different this time. shrek got up again to investigate. he saw a huge ass robot walking through the streets, kicking the rabid ed sheerans with his feet. it was starscream the babygirl himself. behind him was megatron, the manwhore. they were holding signs that said "WE WANT SHREK DEAD"

"WHAT THE FUCK" shrek gasped then ran inside his house. why did they want him dead?? was it because everyone was fighting over him and other people were sick of it?

and then a mob came.

obama, michelle, fiona, grinch, joe biden, ed sheeran, sonic, shadow. they all were marching up his street with pitchforks and torches. 

"SHREK," obama yelled, walking up to his house. "GRINCH AND BIDEN WANT TO USE YOU. PLEASE, PLEASE CHOOSE SOMEONE RIGHT FOR YOU SO THIS ED SHEERAN CLONE MOB MADNESS CAN END?!"

through his window, shrek saw starscream and megatron stop and watch obama. biden and grinch stood angrily, about to fight obama. fiona stood with her kids, holding michelle's hand. ed sheeran was crying over the loss of his lover, who he wished he had never dumped. sonic and shadow stood with their hands clasped together, wishing their city could be safe again.

and it all was up to shrek.

it was his decision to make.