"I decided to keep the baby and raise it, Quaro."

Hindi siya sumagot at nanatiling nakatitig kay Paige. She was sitting across the table, hands holding the cup of coffee whilst her head bent down. Ang tingin nito'y nasa kape subalit alam niyang ang isip ay nasa ibang lupalop.

Nakaupo siya sa harap nito at tahimik na nakikinig. Puno ang shop ng customer subalit may dalawang staff na siyang kinuha upang tumulong, kaya malaya siyang maglaan ng oras upang kausapin si Paige.

He had renovated his shop and it had been running for a few days now. Nabili niya ang kabilang pwesto na dati ay patahian, kaya pinalawak niya iyon. He had added more tables, more shelves for his bread, and more space for the customers. The interior was in minimalist design.

Ibinalik niya ang pansin kay Paige na tila wala sa sariling nakatitig sa kape.

She was having a baby, and yet, she wasn't happy because she never wanted to have one. She was unprepared—mentally and emotionally.

He was the second person who had learned about her pregnancy. Ang una'y ang ama ng dinadala nito. But the guy had no intention of owning up to his responsibility and Paige was thinking of having an abortion. She had told him about it, dahil gulung-gulo na rin ito at hindi alam ang gagawin.

Paige came from a strict Chinese family, and her parents wouldn't be happy if they learned that she was having a child out of wedlock. Sinabi rin ni Paige na hindi pa nito gustong magkaanak, at ang pagkakabuntis nito'y hindi inasahan. She had claimed it was safe sex, but condoms weren't 100% certain—he had tried to explain that to her. It could also be possible that the guy she was seeing was simply just an asshole who tricked her.

He and Paige had stopped their sexual relationship a few days after he and Kirsten hit the bed. Iyong araw na huli silang nag-usap kung saan inabutan pa sila ni Kirsten.

Paige had met a new guy since then, and she told him about it. He was happy for her; not until she told him that the guy didn't want to do anything about her pregnancy.

Kinombinsi niya si Paige na h'wag ituloy ang plano nitong abortion.

He wasn't perfect; he wasn't kind; he wasn't a hero—but he just couldn't allow her to get rid of the life inside her. Kung wala siyang gagawin upang pigilan ang plano nito'y ano ang pinagkaiba niya sa mga mamamatay tao?

He had asked her to continue the pregnancy, and if she didn't want the baby, he was willing to adopt it once it was born. Hindi niya alam kung bakit siya bigla na lang nagpasiya ng ganoon, he just wanted to save the baby. Sinabi niya rin dito kung gaano siyang na-dismaya sa naging pasiya nito; he had never thought Paige was capable of doing such a heinous act.

Ayaw niya ng responsibilidad—hindi siya handa roon. Pero iyon lang ang naisip niyang paraan upang maisalba ang bata. He was even willing to speak to Paige's parents and take responsibility. He would tell them that he couldn't marry their daughter but he was willing to support her and the baby. Iyon lang ang maitutulong niya sa kaibigan. But Paige refused and told him that she would speak to her parents all by herself.

"I am moving to States, Quaro. Doon ko ipanganganak ang bata at doon na muna kami habang hindi pa kami nagkakaayos ng mga magulang ko."

"Darating ang araw na mangyayari 'yan, Paige. Who knows, baka kapag nakita nila ang bata ay magbago ang isip nila?"

"Yeah, sana nga, Quaro." Paige smiled wryly. "But you know what? I really can't blame them—ako lang sa pamilya namin ang nagkamali ng ganito. And they always hated unwanted pregnancies. Masama ang loob nila kaya hahayaan ko na muna sila."

Tumango siya. "When are you leaving for the States?"

"In a few weeks. Aayusin ko lang ang pagbebenta ng store. I have a cousin who lives in Chicago and she has been thinking of opening a business. Pag-uusapan namin ang tungkol doon."

Muli siyang tumango. "Masaya akong nagpasiya kang ituloy ang pagbubuntis mo. You have no idea how scared I was after hearing your abortion plan."

Malungkot na ngumiti si Paige saka muling niyuko ang kape. Matagal itong nakipagtitigan sa repleksiyon nito roon bago muling nagsalita. "Kung sakaling ikaw ang naging ama ng magiging anak ko, would you marry me, Quaro?"

Wala sa loob na ibinaling niya ang tingin sa pinto ng shop kung saan walang humpay ang pagpasok ng mga customers.

Marry?

Isang imahe ang unti-unting namuo sa kaniyang balintanaw nang rumehistro sa isip ang salitang binanggit ni Paige. Imaheng laman ng kaniyang isip sa nakaraang ilang linggo. Imahe na gumugulo sa kaniya, bumabagabag, at siyang dahilan kung bakit madalas ay tuliro siya.

He missed her. God, he fucking missed her.

Ilang beses na niyang sinubukang sundan ito sa lokasyong alam niyang kinaroroonan nito subalit ayaw niyang kontrahin ang mga sinabi niya sa audio recording. He decided to just leave everything to fate. Kung para talaga ito sa kaniya, she should have found the recording before the 100th day. She should have found his confession. May dalawang araw pa bago matapos ang ika-isandaang araw. At nang umalis ito ay siguradong may pagkakataong makita nito ang recording na ginawa niya.

Pinahahalagahan ng bawat tao ang cellphone nila—Kirsten would have used her phone on her way back home. Imposibleng hindi nito nakita ang cellphone na ini-siksik niya sa backpack nito?

Paano kung narinig nito ang recording at pinili pa rin nitong umalis? She said she didn't want to be with him anymore after she heard the conversation he shared with Paige that day. Marahil ay ayaw ni Kirsten sa set up na gusto niya. Marahil ay ayaw nitong mag-alaga ng anak ng iba. O ayaw nitong magkaanak?

She could get pregnant after that night... he thought.

"If you are too worried about me getting pregnant, why are you letting me go?"

Ahh... Parang kahapon lang nangyari ang huli nilang pag-uusap. Everything she'd said that day was still in his mind. He couldn't forget all the words she said.

"I was just kidding, Quaro," nakangiting sabi ni Paige na nagpagising sa malalim niyang iniisip. She smiled as she held his hand. "Thank you, by the way. You have always been good to me. I will never forget the friendship we shared."

Inilagay din niya ang kamay niya sa ibabaw ng kamay nito at pinisil iyon. "Katulad ng sinabi ko, I will always be here should you need my help, Paige."

Tumango ito. "Kung hindi ba dumating si Kirsten sa buhay mo, sa tingin mo ba'y may pag-asa tayong dalawa?"

"No."

Natawa ito sa bilis ng sagot niya, at ngumiti siya dahil alam niyang naiintindihan nito kung bakit iyon ang naging sagot niya. Paige knew that what he felt for her was nothing compared to what he felt for Kirsten. Paige knew it. Because he told her.

"That gal is lucky," she said after a while. Her smile was soft. "But why did she choose to leave?"

"She probably just got tired of me." Napabuntong-hininga siya. "I was a coward, Paige. Ni hindi ko masabi sa kaniya ang tunay na nararamdaman ko."

"Hindi pa naman huli ang lahat, Quaro. You know where to find her."

He decided to end the topic about Kirsten there. Hindi na siya sumagot pa at ibinaling na lang ang pansin sa salaming bintana kung saan tanaw niya ang mga taong dumaraan sa tabing kalsada. Isa sa mga iyon ay ang suki niyang si Mrs. Aurora.

Pumasok iyon sa shop at inikot ang tingin—siguradong hinahanap siya.

"The fansclub president is here," ani Paige bago bumitiw sa kaniya at kinuha ang tasa ng kape.

Tila nakaramdam ang ginang na pinag-uusapan—dumapo ang mga mata nito sa direksyong kinaroroonan nila ni Paige, at nang makita siya'y nagkislapan ang mga mata.

He waved at her, and Mrs. Aurora did the same. Sandali muna niyang hinarap si Paige upang magpaalam. "Enjoy your coffee and let me know if you need anything else, haharapin ko lang si Mrs. Aurora."

"I'll be fine."

Tumayo siya at bitbit ang tasa niya ng kape ay humakbang siya patungo sa counter.

Habang naglalakad ay nag-iiwan siya ng ngiti sa bawat mesa kung saab naroon at nakaupo ang mga customers. They were smiling back at him, some had stars in their eyes while others would just gape at him like usual.

He could only smile at them. But deep inside he was feeling... lonely.

"Good afternoon, Quaro!" masiglang bati ng ginang nang makalapit siya.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Aurora. You look lovely as always," he greeted, faking a smile.

"Oh, ikaw talaga. Inuuto mo pa rin ako..." anito saka tumawa ng mahinhin.

"Hindi ako marunong mang-uto, Mrs. Aurora. But I do know how to appreciate beauty."

Mrs. Aurora batted her eyelashes like a teenage girl who just got a compliment from a crush. Alam kaya ng asawa nito ang ina-akto sa harap ng ibang lalaki—not to mention, younger men like him?

Hindi niya maiwasang i-kompara ito sa kaniyang ina—sa kaniyang Mama Felicia. She was always prom and proper in front of other men. Kahit na wala na ang kanilang Papa Arc ay nunca itong um-akto ng ganoon sa ibang mga lalaki.

He could only let out a sigh.

"Oh, by the way, hindi ba at bakante ka tuwing Sabado at Linggo? Can I invite you for dinner? Kami ng mga amiga ko ay magkikita-kita para sa isang party. We have invited other guests, too. Would you be interested to come?"

"I would love to, but—"

"Come on, Quaro. I have been your loyal customer for years now, hindi mo ba ako mapagbibigyan kahit ngayon lang? Besides... I have a niece coming home from New York. Lagi kitang ikinukwento sa kaniya at gusto ka niyang makilala."

Lihim siyang napabuntong hininga. Wala siyang interes sa mga parties at alam niyang hindi rin siya matutuwa kapag sumama siya sa mga ito.

He opened his mouth to turn her down when suddenly, his eyes caught something.

Ang salaming pinto ng shop ay bumukas, sa paraang halos matanggal ang mga hinges niyon sa lakas ng pagkakatulak, at ang door chime ay halos tumilapon kaya naman ang mga customers ay napalingon din doon. It was as if a wild animal entered his territory, ready to devour everyone inside.

Subalit ang pagkagulat niya ay kaagad ding nagmaliw nang makita kung sino ang naroon.

But she was looking so different he almost didn't recognize her.

This time, she was wearing black velvet jeans, high-heeled boots, and a white blouse with sleeves rolled up to her elbows and hem tied to her hips. Her long hair was in a ponytail, and her face had light makeup—something she didn't have before.

He blinked twice, unsure if what he was seeing was true and not just a figment of his fantasies. Araw-araw niya itong naiisip simula nang ito'y umalis, at sa gabi'y kasama ito sa kaniyang mga panaginip. He hadn't stopped thinking of her, but she had made a choice and there was nothing he could do.

Si Kirsten ay nanatiling nakatayo lang sa pinto, nakatitig ng diretso sa kaniya habang naghahabol ng paghinga. Her sweat was streaming from her forehead down to the sides of her head.

For a moment there, they just stared at each other.

He still wasn't sure if she was real, and Kirsten was standing there, wasn't sure what to do.

He blinked again, gusto niyang siguraduhing hindi siya namamalikmata. At nang hindi ito nawala sa kaniyang paningin ay kumabog ng malakas ang kaniyang dibdib. It's only been four weeks since they last saw each other but it already felt like forever.

Wala sa sariling umalis siya sa likod ng counter, eyes still locked on hers.

Si Kirsten naman ay humakbang papasok, the door behind her automatically closed.

Again, they just stared at each other. May pakiramdam siyang huminto ang pag-ikot ng mundo at ang oras ay tumigil rin sa pagtakbo. Puno ng customers ang shop subalit pakiramdam niya'y silang dalawa na lamang ang natira roon.

He could clearly see Kirsten swallowing hard, her eyes were misty with tears.

Tila may sariling buhay ang kaniyang mga paa—nag-umpisa siyang humakbang palapit dito, totally ignoring the customers lining up to the counter. Si Kirsten ay ganoon din ang ginawa, humakbang ito pasalubong sa kaniya. At nang makita niyang lumaki ang paghakbang nito'y ganoon din ang kaniyang ginawa.

At nang tuluyan na nilang narating ang isa't isa ay walang kung anu-anong patalon na yumakap si Kirsten sa kaniya. He grabbed her, scooping her up and hugging her back.

Sunud-sunod na singhap sa paligid ang kanilang nadinig; singhap mula sa mga customers ng shop na halos lahat ay may gusto kay Quaro.

And Quaro didn't care what people would think and say anymore. He was just thrilled to see her back.

He wondered why she came back, but it didn't matter for now. He wanted to savor the moment that she was back in his arms.

Si Kirsten ay ibinaon ang mukha sa balikat niya habang ang mga kamay ay ipinulupot nito sa kaniyang leeg.

Sandali siyang humiwalay upang titigan ito. "Why?"

Kirsten, with eyes still misty, answered, "I listened to the audio recording."

"When?"

"This morning."

"And you drove all the way here?"

She nodded. "I drove for ten hours full. Pagod na pagod ako at gusto kitang hambalusin pero wala akong lakas.para gawin 'yon."

He smiled softly. "I could tell. Your arms and legs are shaking."

Muling yumakap si Kirsten; ang ulo'y ini-dantay muli sa kaniyang balikat. "H'wag kang magpa-cute, I'm still angry at you."

Lumapad ang pagkakangiti niya at hinigpitan ang yakap dito. "I missed you, Kirsten. I truly did."

"Gago. Napakahirap ba talagang sabihin sa akin nang personal ang damdamin mo at kinailangan mo pang idaan sa recording?"

"I was a coward, I know. Falling in love was never a thing for me."

Sa pagkakataong ito'y si Kirsten naman ang bahagyang humiwalay upang titigan siya ng diretso sa mga mata. "Do you really love me?"

"I love you," aniya nang walang paliguy-ligoy. He then crossed the distance between them and claimed her waiting lips.

Another round of ohs and ahs could be heard from every corner of the shop. Lahat ay hindi makapaniwala sa nakikita. Nanlalaki ang mga mata ng mga ito at kanina pa nakatanga; hindi alam ang gagawin at kung ano ang magiging reaksyon. They had never seen Quaro hug another girl, let alone kissed her.

They never knew he was having some kind of an affair with this woman who happened to be a customer of the shop.

Most of the customers, especially women, were envious. They stood up, stomping their feet on the marbled floor as they exited the shop. Others stayed with wonderment in their eyes. They liked what they were witnessing. It was like they were in the cinema, watching a romantic film. Naiinggit ang mga ito sa dalagang yakap-yakap ni Quaro pero hindi rin maiwasan ng mga itong mamangha at matuwa sa nakikita.

Si Mrs. Aurora na nakatigalgal lang sa harap ng counter ay hindi makahanap ng salitang sasabihin. She was shocked! She thought the girl was just a mere customer!

Ilang sandali pa'y naghiwalay na ang kanilang mga labi, subalit ang kaniyang mga kamay ay nanatili sa baywang ni Kirsten. Wala na siyang pakealam sa ibang nangyayari sa loob ng shop. Ang pansin niya nakatuon lang sa babaeng ilang linggo nang ginambala ang isip niya. Ang puso niya.

"We need to talk," he said, staring down at her swollen lips.

Kirsten grimaced. "I know, but please promise me na hindi ka magagalit."

"Magagalit saan?"

"Kapag nalaman mo na ang totoo."

"Tungkol sa katauhan mo?" he smiled and touched her face tenderly. "I already know, Kirsten May de Casimiro. Ang hindi ko lang alam ay kung bakit ka nagsinungaling sa akin at iyon ang pag-uusapan natin."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Kirsten sa pagkagulat. "How the hell did you learn my full name?"

"I'll explain—let's go."

"Now?"

"Now."

"Paano ang mga customers?"

"Just go you two. I'll watch the shop."

Marahas na napalingon si Kirsten nang marinig si Paige na nagsalita sa likuran nito. Lalong nanlaki ang mga mata ng dalaga nang makita itong nakahalukipkip na nakatayo roon at may pinong ngiti sa mga labi.

"Are you sure, Paige?" aniya. He was tightly holding Kirsten's hand, reassuring her that everything was alright.

"Yeah, why not? Isang oras na rin lang naman at magsasara na ang shop. Isa pa, narito naman ang mga staff mo."

Siya naman ngayon ang hinarap ni Kirsten. Nasa anyo pa rin nito ang pagkagulat. "May staff ka na?"

He smiled and gently pulled her hand. "Let's go to the rooftop."

***

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CHAPTER 38 - Quaro's Surrender