~ This chapter contains explicit language which may be offensive to some readers.

Reader discretion is advised~

***

"Hindi ba at naka-schedule kang dumalaw bukas sa Mama mo?"

Mula sa pagtanaw sa labas ng veranda ay nilingon ni Quaro si Kirsten. She had just finished taking a shower and was using his own Goddamn towel to wipe her wet hair. Suot nito ang isa sa mga T-shirts niya na nagmukhang duster dahil sa liit ng katawan nito.

He had ordered two plates of 10 inches pizza and Kirsten gave up after the second slice. Nauna itong umakyat at sinabing magpapahinga nang maaga. Pagsunod niya sa silid ay nasa banyo ito at naliligo, na dati ay kinaiinisan niya pero kalaunan ay nakasanayan na.

His house seemed to get used to Kirsten's existence, and he didn't want to admit it, but... he was, too.

Kung dati ay naiinis siyang may kasama sa pamamahay niya, sa nakalipas na ilang linggo'y hindi na. And it had been... what, seven weeks now since she stayed in his house?

Wala silang pormal na usapan tungkol sa kanilang dalawa—tulad ng inisyal na napag-usapan nila'y mananatili lang ito roon hanggang sa matapos ang isang daang araw.

"Yes, why?"

"Pwede ba akong sumama?"

Nagsalubong ang mga kilay niya. "No."

"Why not? Hindi naman akong manggugulo roon, ah?"

"Hindi ako nagdadala ng babae sa amin."

"Why not?"

"I'm surprised you even asked?"

Nagkibit ito ng mga balikat. "Holiday sa Lunes at Martes kaya wala rin naman akong gagawin dito sa loob ng mga araw na iyon."

"Go meet with your friends, then." He ended the conversation with that. Ayaw niyang patuloy itong magpumilit na isama niya dahil kahit ano ang gawin nito'y hindi iyon mangyayari.

Just thinking about it made him shiver; ayaw niyang tanongin siya ng mga kapatid tungkol sa katayuan ni Kirsten sa buhay niya, o mag-expect ang Mama nila na nag-uwi siya ng babae upang ipakilala rito. He just didn't want to be questioned, that's all.

"Wala akong friends."

"It's not my problem anymore, Kirsten." He hoped she'd realize that he didn't want to further discuss the topic. Ini-sara na niya ang veranda at naglakad patungo sa banyo. He could feel Kirsten's eyes following him.

He showered and dried his hair with a blower. Biyernes ang pinaka-abalang araw para sa kaniya at pagod siya. He wasn't even expecting to have a hot sex when he got out of the shower room. Ganoon ang madalas na mangyari simula nang matulog na roon sa silid niya si Kirsten; every night was steamy. Madalang lang ang gabing hindi sila nagniniig.

Makalipas ang halos dalawampung minuto ay lumabas siya ng banyo, wearing nothing but a towel curled around his waist. Sandali siyang nahinto paglabas nang makitang nakapatay ang ilaw sa silid subalit wala si Kirsten sa higaan.

Lumabas siya upang tingnan kung bumaba ito nang maramdaman ang hanging pumasok mula sa veranda. He turned in its direction and saw Kirsten standing there; her arms on the steel baluster, barefoot as she looked up to the stars.

Mula sa kinatatayuan ay tahimik niya itong pinagmasdan. Ang ilaw mula sa mga poste sa labas ay nagbibigay liwanag sa kinatatayuan nito. And from where she was standing, he could clearly see the curves of her body shadowing through her—or his—T-shirt.

Ang pang-gabing hangin ay banayad na nililipad ang may kahabaan nitong buhok. At ang amoy nito, ang amoy ng sabon niya mula sa katawan nito, ay dumadampi sa ilong niya at nagdadala ng kung anong... damdamin sa kaniya.

Damdamin? What do you know about it, Quaro? he questioned himself.

Umiwas siya ng tingin at naglakad patungo sa kama, doon sa bahagi niya.

Ahh, damn it. Simula nang doon na rin matulog si Kirsten ay hindi na niya magawang sakupin ang buong kama. It had become—his side and her side of the bed.

Fuck it.

He was about to take off the towel and hit the bed when he decided to turn to the veranda and give her one last look.

He didn't know why, but it seemed like something pulled him in her direction. Ni hindi niya namalayan kung saan banda siya nagpasiyang lapitan ito.

Tahimik siyang naglakad hanggang sa marating niya ang sliding door. Doon ay nahinto siya at nagsalita.

"What are you thinking, Kirsten?"

Startled, she turned to him with her right arm up to her left chest. "Aatakehin ako sa puso sa pasulpot-sulpot mo."

Ignoring what she said, he asked again, "What are you doing here?"

"Wala naman," sagot nito saka muling tiningala ang langit. "K-Kinukumusta ko lang sina Tatay at Nanay. Sigurado ay... magkasama na sila ngayon doon sa langit."

Sumunod ang tingin niya sa langit kung saan kumakalat ang kay raming mga bituin.

"Nagdasal lang ako at sinabi sa kanilang maayos ang lagay ko— at least sa ngayon."

Ibinaba niya ang tingin at muli itong sinulyapan. Kirsten smiled at him.

"But don't worry, hindi ako malungkot." Huminga ito nang malalim at iniyakap ang mga braso sa tapat ng dibdib. "Ikaw? Hindi mo ba kinakausap ang totoo mong mga magulang sa langit? Iyong foster father mo na namatay dalawang taon na ang nakararaan, pinagdarasal at kinakausap mo rin ba siya?"

Hindi niya nais na sagutin ang tanong nito, pero ewan niya kung bakit kusang bumuka ang kaniyang mga labi at diretsong sinagot ang mga katanungang iyon. "I don't pray, Kirsten. I don't believe in prayers."

"Ano? Hindi ka ba naniniwala sa Kaniya?" she asked, pointing at the sky.

"Oh, I do believe that God exists, I just don't believe in prayers."

"Huh?" Lalo itong naguluhan.

"I believe in hard work and perseverance."

"Prayers and hard work are two different things, Quaro."

Napa-iling ito, "One works without question and the other is uncertain."

"Huh?" Sandaling nawalan ng sasabihin si Kirsten; nagugulat sa naririnig mula sa kaniya.

He gave her a wry smile. "This is the first time I opened up about my thoughts and that's all you can say? Huh?"

Napakurap ito, tila natauhan. "Nagulat lang ako sa... pananaw mo."

"Some people pray a lot but work less—did they really expect that the sky would drop money like rain? If they start working hard and focus on their goal, their chances of getting what they want are high —that's how life works, Kirsten. People should really stop relying on prayers."

"Prayers strengthen one's heart and faith, Quaro."

He crossed his arms across his chest. "Elaborate."

"You pray not because you wanted your wish to come true. Prayer is first and foremost a conversation between you and God. By praying, you gain strength. You realize that the world does not begin and end with you. You feel inspired to take steps of faith. And by praying, Quaro, you trust that God is with you." Kirsten then shook her head in disbelief. "I never expected you to mistake God for Santa Claus who grants wishes."

That took him by surprise. He never thought Kirsten would speak intelligently about religion. The topic per se was already a surprise to him. Who would have thought that Kirsten could talk about something deep and sensitive?

He was impressed.

"Why, Quaro? Minsan ka na bang humiling sa kaniya, and you felt like He did not do what you hoped He would? O, iniisip mong sa dami ng taong nagdarasal sa kaniya ay hindi rin niya maririnig ang sa iyo?" There was concern in her voice which stunned him for seconds. "That's what they call fear of disappointment, Quaro. It's normal and you are not alone."

Humakbang ito palapit sa kaniya, at huminto sa kaniyang harapan upang hawakan siya sa magkabila niyang mga braso.

"You must put on your mind that He never promises to answer prayers the way you want Him to, but as you spend time with Him by praying, you will develop trust in Him. Ang pagtitiwalang ito ang magpapatibay ng paniniwala mo sa kaniya, and this trust in God also guards your heart during times when you feel let down by Him."

Surprised and amused, he frowned at her. "Have you ever thought of becoming a preacher?"

Sa sinabi niya'y tila doon natauhan si Kirsten. Dumaan sa anyo nito ang pagkalito, hanggang sa pinanlakihan ito ng mga mata, bumitiw sa kaniya at umatras ng dalawang dipa.

Kahit ito at nagulat sa mga sinabi, at nang mahimasmasan ay pilit na ngumiti. "Relihiyoso ang... pamilya ni Tatay kaya ganito ako. Pasensya na, nagulat ba kita sa panenermon ko?" She then giggled, back to the Kirsten he used to know.

"You intrigued me, Kirsten..." he said, stepping closer to her. "Everything you do, everything you say surprised me. Ano ba talaga ang mayroon sa 'yo? What are you hiding from me?"

Napa-atras ito.

Kadalasan ay matapang itong mananatili sa kinatatayuan at hihintayin siyang makalapit, pero sa pagkakataong ito ay hindi; may kakaiba rito.

Kirsten stopped when her back reached the baluster. Wala na itong maatrasan kaya huminto ito at tiningala siya.

"Wala akong... itinatago, Quaro. Nagkataon lang na... hindi pa nating gaanong kilala ang isa't isa kaya—"

He leaned over and put his arms on the baluster, cornering her. His face inches away from hers. "Come to think of it—we have already memorized every curve and mole of our bodies, pero hindi pa rin natin halos kilala ang isa't isa. You know why, Kirsten?"

She shook her head, swallowing hard in pressure.

"Dahil ma-sekreto ka."

Muli itong umiling.

"You can keep it that way for as long as you want, I don't care. You won't be permanently part of my life, anyway."

Tumalikod na siya at bumalik sa loob. Paglapit niya sa kama ay tinanggal niya ang tuwalyang naka-pulupot sa ibabang bahagi ng kaniyang katawan. Like always, he slept naked.

Pumailalim siya sa makapal na comforter at ini-unan ang ulo sa mga braso. He looked up at the ceiling and was about to close his eyes when he noticed that Kirsten hadn't moved since he turned his back. Sinulyapan niya ito at doo'y nakitang nanatili ito sa kinatatayuan, not moving an inch. At dahil madilim sa silid at nakatalikod ito sa liwanag ay hindi niya nakikita ang anyo o ekspresyon nito sa mukha.

"Aren't you sleeping?"

Hindi ito sumagot; alam niyang tinititigan siya nito dahil nanatili itong nakaharap sa loob. Subalit makalipas ang ilang segundo'y tumalikod ito at muling tumingala sa langit.

He shrugged his shoulders and closed his eyes.

*

*

*

Quaro woke up in the middle of the night feeling hot and needy. He opened his eyes for a start, and the darkness was what he'd seen first. Sandali niyang hinayaang masanay ang mga mata sa dilim bago nilingon ang katabi; only to frown when he didn't find her there.

Napa-upo siya at hinanap ito ng tingin sa gitna ng dilim. He thought she went to the restroom, but the door was open and it was dark inside. Sunod niyang sinulyapan ang veranda; she wasn't there either.

Where could she be?

Bumangon siya at dinampot ang tuwalyang inihagis niya sa sahig bago natulog. Sandali lang siyang natigilan nang mapatingin sa nanggagalit niyang kasarian.

Damn it, he cursed. Nitong nakalipas na mga linggo ay madalas siyang nagigising sa gitna ng gabi at labis-labis ang pangangailangan. He already knew he had incredible sexual drive, pero hindi nangyayari ang ganito noon. Not until... she came into his life.

Huminga siya ng malalim at itinuloy ang pagtali ng tuwalya sa kaniyang bewang.

Dire-diretso siya sa pinto ng kaniyang silid upang hanapin sa baba si Kirsten, at sa pagbukas pa lang niya ng pinto ay kaagad na niyang narinig ang mahinang tunog na nagmumula sa theater room. Sa maingat na mga paghakbang ay bumaba siya at hinanap ng tingin sa Kirsten sa second floor.

Sa ibabaw ng La Z Boy, pabalang na nakahiga, ay naroon si Kirsten at nakaharap sa nakabukas na TV screen. She was watching Clark Gable's Gone With The Wind movie. Patuloy ang airing niyon at nasa kamay pa ni Kirsten ang remote ng TV subalit mahimbing na itong natutulog. Her naked legs were tempting him as she was only wearing her undies underneath his T-shirt.

Napailing siya at kinuha mula rito ang remote saka pinatay ang TV. He placed the remote to where it belonged and returned to Kirsten. Sandali niya itong pinagmasdan; payapa ang paghinga nito kaya sigurado siyang mahimbing na itong natutulog at hindi lang pagpapanggap.

No hot sex tonight, I guess...

He gently scooped her in his arms and brought her upstairs. Kung paano niya ito masuyong binuhat mula sa La Z Boy ay ganoon din nang ilapag niya ito sa kama. He then took the thick blanket and covered it on her frozen body. Doon ba naman ito sa harap ng AC sa theater room pumwesto.

Inayos niya ang pagkakahiga nito at nang sa tingin niya'y mabimbing na ito'y umikot siya sa bahagi niya at nahigang muli. He was careful not to wake her up with his movements.

Subalit matapos niyang mahiga ay hindi rin siya makatulog kaagad. Pabalin-baling siya at hindi alam kung paanong pwesto ang gagawin. His dick was rock-hard, his body was burning.

He turned to Kirsten and watched her sleep in peace.

Shit...

Mariin niyang ipinikit ang mga mata saka itinaas ang isang braso upang takpan iyon.

Start counting sheep, you horny shitty bastard.

At habang nakapikit siya'y pumasok sa isip niya ang sinabi nito nang hapong iyon.

Just because I was in pain didn't mean I wasn't enjoying it!

Was she really in pain every time they had sex? Did she really want to get rid of the condoms? Did she trust him that much?

Damn, he wanted to have sex with her in raw—no condom, just pure skin and flesh. But it took a lot of courage for him to submit to it.

Whatever. I'll just do it slow and gentle next time. It's way better than putting myself in a situation where I couldn't turn my back on.

And what he meant was pregnancy. He knew he couldn't just turn his back on her should he got her pregnant. Kaya mas maiging mag-ingat siya, dahil hindi siya handa sa ganoon.

Muli niyang sinubukang kumuha ng tulog at pilit na inalis ang pansin sa nagagalit niyang pagkalalaki. After another thirty minutes, he was finally able to sleep.

But the next morning, when he woke up, Kirsten was already gone. And what he found placed on her pillow was a letter.

Quaro, pupunta lang ako sa bayan namin sa loob ng apat na araw—you probably wouldn't be here so dadalaw na lang muna ako sa pamilya ko.

See you on Wednesday!

Muli niyang ibinagsak ang sarili sa higaan at tulalang nakipagtitigan sa kisame habang hawak-hawak sa isang kamay ang note na iniwan ng dalaga.

Ahhh, fuck.

Four days without Kirsten? How would he and his groin survive?

***

NEXT >>

CHAPTER 20 – Sugar and Daddy

A/N:

Ang holy naman ni Kirsten...

But seriously...

This story (and the whole series) may be erotic-romance, but I will never forget to incorporate some words of wisdom, and or mention God.

Sana ay may napulot kayo sa chapter na ito.

At sana'y nabasbasan ng kaunti ang kaluluwa nating narumihan dahil kina Quaro at Kirsten.

HAHAHHAAHHAAH

Xx