Things at school stayed the same. I was still being called names, and getting beat by other kids. But even after they hurt me I would go running back to them, hoping they'd be willing to become friends with me, helping them when they were down. However, it never turned out the way I wanted it to. They always stabbed me in the back, laughed at me, picked on me. So,all I did was laugh with them because I wanted to fit in so bad...it didn't hurt so much if I laughed with them because then they wouldn't be laughing at me...theyd be laughing with me, right?

I told myself that everyday. I would look at myself in the mirror everyday and lie; Tell myself that I was okay. I'd tell myself that they liked me...but things didn't get better, not even when I had began staying in the shelter. I was addicted to being accepted like it was a drug.

Mother was around more often when I was around...but that all came to an end too.

The school day had been long and the sun had been beaming down on everything that day. I was playing with some kids at recess; we were running in between the swing sets as other kids swung. I happened to be the 'lucky' kid that got too close and received a hard blow to the head. I ended up staying in the nurses office that entire day,until the last bell rang.

•••

I don't remeber how long we stayed at the shelter.

The teachers had been loading students on the bus. I was a very observant child, so I noticed that the bus I was being lead to wasn't the right one for today. Mother had told me before hand that I had to stay with my brother for a couple of hours. The bus I was supposed to get on was 89. However, when I reported to the teachers, they just pushed me along and shook their heads. Of course they weren't going to listen to a child. My mother wasn't waiting for me at the shelter. This made me panic. I remember the people of the shelter telling the bus lady that they wouldn't let me in if my mother was not present...said it was because of safety issues.

When night fell, they eventually let me in. I didn't talk to anyone, just climbed on the top bunk and silently cried myself to sleep, a picture of my mother clamped in my hand. I missed her, and I was worried that maybe John had hurt her.

Around about two o'clock in the morning, there was a lady who shook me until I woke up. She told me to come with her. Hesitation grabbed me like a mother grabbing her misbehaving child in a store. I asked her if I had to, but she replied with "I'm afraid you don't have a choice my dear." Her voice was soft and sounded sad...or tired.

I climbed off the bed without the picture and followed behind her—I thought I was going to be coming back... The light from the hall made my eyes sting and I squinted up at the lady, asking her if she was taking me to my mother. Sadly, she didn't say a word...only looked at me with sad eyes. I sighed and looked down at my feet as the tears began to blur my vision. My tiny hand reached for her hand and latched onto it. I missed my mother and I couldn't help but think something bad had happened to her.

The women took me to a black car, a Nissan maybe? She placed me in the back seat and told me to buckle up because we had a long ride ahead of us. Momma had told me not to trust strangers, but this women had been dressed in nice business clothes, and she didn't have a bad vibe to her either. I did as I was told, but I kept asking them where my mother was, what happened to her. No one gave me a straight answer... it was always "I'm sure she's alright," or " Don't worry yourself about it." Little did I know they, were only trying to protect me.

We pulled up to a pretty fancy house. When we knocked on the door, a lady greeted us with a warm smile and a cheerful voice. The lady I had come with told me I'd be staying here for a couple of days and that Ms. Reneè would take good care of me.

I was confused..but I didn't bother arguing or questioning it, in fear of being told something I didn't want to hear..