A : Shivaay....

Shivaay looked at her back, tears rolling down his eyes, uncontrollably. He felt like soul returning to the enigma. His whole life was isolated or say tangled in a cul-de-sac thread without her.

S : Annika...

A : Do you know how my life went in those five years ?

Shivaay gulped and kept his eyes down. He knew she was broke, but she's brave enough which always kept her alive from becoming a poor being.

A : I had only one thing in my life, a hope. A hopeless hope too see you again, to live a life with you. Sometimes, the only thing I did was breathing.

A gentle weep escaped from his mouth while soft, steady stream of tears accompanied. An audible distress. Annika drew up her legs, closer to her chest and arms around her knees. She softly sighed, a fine gesture of breakdown.

A : None were there for me, even Gauri. I can't spoil her life for the sake of my solacement. I accepted my fate as my responsibility. I can't blame others for anything in my life that I'm not happy about. Do you know why ?

Annika withdrew her arms around her knees and turned around to face him. Shivaay couldn't cope up the courage to look into her eyes. Guilt is the worst demon to bear. Annika sat crossing her legs, dispassionately looking at him.

A : I came into your life by your sister. I interfered in your sister's marriage. I tried to rescue your sister from that moron despite your impertinent behaviour. I jeopardised my dignity to save your sister. Do I deserve that humiliations and taunts ?

Annika left an asymmetrical laugh with a stoical grin and bear it expression. Shivaay lifted his head whilst his eyelashes flickered in blameworthy. He knew, his words and attitude was culpable than dreadful killings.

A : Still, I helped your family. You ruined my wedding. I still remembered those words.

Shivaay closed his eyes in being ashamed of himself. He snivelled reminiscing his own truculence deeds. Brutal would be a understatement to describe his barbarities. His lips involuntarily prone to sorry mutterings.

A : You left me in the lonely, dark road just like a piece of thrash. But again, I came into your life, into your house. I forgave you within a day. Can you believe this, I forgave a person in a single day who was nothing but a machete.

Annika stood up and trembled in agony. She started heavy crying with large volume of tears flowing steadily. She sobbed, his heart omitted the blood and gore of guilt. But Annika was the bad guilty than Shivaay.

She accepted those pain and humiliations, the worst guilt, accepting an unearned guilt.

Shivaay stood up and tried to touch her but she moved back till her back of knees hit the table adjacent the bed. Her hand trembled. Her chest heaved up in erratic breaths, sniffing in order to avoid mucus, and incorporating tears.

A : Why ? Why did I forgave you ? Why did I forgave you dammit ? Why ?!!

Annika screamed pushing down the table. Shivaay's lips quivered to console her but he couldn't. The guilt was menacing than a death. Annika pulled down the sheets and pillows from the bed. All of that unspent agony and love gathered up as a pool in her eyes and so his.

A : I'm the one who deserves the blame. For trusting you, for tolerating you, for forgiving you, for mending you and for damn loving you!

Shivaay was flabbergasted. The lump in his throat, in that hollow part of his chest, still he felt a great amount of guilt knowing that despite everything she loved him. Annika pushed down everything on the dressing table and hardly lowered down the table, to be act in unbecomingly. Everyone in the Mansion knocked on the door hearing blares.

S : We are fine! Everyone leave, please.

Shivaay screamed making his hands into fists. He knew his pleadings and apologises won't do nothing for the anger bubbling through her skin, eyes and mouth. Everyone left the doorstep understanding the commotion.

A : You'll arrange my marriage with someone else but you'll give an unfit signature in the divorce papers. You'll decide my wedding theme, date, time and moronic everything but you'll also come closer to kiss me! Do you know how happy I felt that night but again you ruined it. Not alone yours but you also ruined my life just for your guilt trip. Didn't you ?! Answer me!

Annika screamed-cried, violently. He sobbed looking into her eyes. Her wailing accompanied with bouts of yelling. She took fast strides towards him and harshly shook him by fisting the coat lapels. She gave him a tight slap on his right cheek. He was not at all surprised instead he waited for it.

A : I was like a sage, waited for you in those five years. I tried to mend you, what not I did for you. Just because Gauri blames you, you jumped into Shivaay square number one.

S : Yo..you know ?

A : I'm not a fool like you to believe on what you see and hear. I got to know everything. From starting till now, you're the same, not trusting me. You can believe everyone except me because I'm not a worthy candidate of your so-called trust, right ?

Shivaay nodded in negative while eyes manifesting in tears. His right cheek was red in the slap he received. His hands went up to her face in that same exact way they had the night before when he'd kissed on her forehead to wipe away her insecurity about her beauty.

S : I was scared Ann..Annika. I can't risk your life, you're the only person whom I have my whole own. If something happened to..

He trailed off, the sound in his throat anguished. The breath left his lungs in a sharp exhale and he blinked up at his woman radiating so much fury. He didn't know how to react or what to say. Annika pushed down his hands from her face and moved back.

A : So you began your plan distancing Annika, right ? My five year's longing, solace meant nothing you. All you cared was her words and your own attention of stupid guilt. You married to me or your guilt ? Because you're always bound to that.

S : Ple..please Annika, I'll—

A : What ?! I don't need your useless explanation. What did you said, you don't feel anything towards me. You thought I would have left you in the five years. You said I'm a middle class, cheap woman right ?

S : I didn't mean it, please trust me.

A : What are you ? I suppose your name should be Sacrifice Singh Oberoi instead. From my own ordeal I'm saying this to you, you won't earn anything from becoming a stoic person. You sacrificed your happiness because you don't want to be a hurdle in my life. You sacrificed your name, prestige for your family whom treating you like nothing but an unwanted commodity. Leave Om and Ru aside, where's your sister ? When your own blood can't stand with you then I can't expect my blood too.

Shivaay held her gaze even as pain quickened inside him. It's just a coping mechanism when a trusted loved one rejects us in a confusing way. The core belief lived in her, was killed. Her life was like a black sludge that suffocates her heart.

A : Your sacrifice not gonna add up in any historical monument.

S : I just want you to be happy. That's the reason I chose to dis..distance you—

A : Who are you to decide about my life ? When I can't be your wife, as it is, you shouldn't do me any favours. Heh, you and your Bloody Sacrifices.

He gulped and came near but Annika pushed him back, regardless how hard he stumbled. She placed her both hands on her ears and hunched down. She felt like all those possibilities of happy living silenced that makes life worth.

A : I hate you Shivaay, I hate you so much.

With toxic shame, Shivaay fell on his knees. Annika's body went stiff when she felt his trembling fingers brushing on her toe fingers. He was hyperventilating resulting in the inability to speak even resembling a single word. Tears fell on her toe skin making her clinched in torment.

S : Pl..please don't hate me An..Annika. I don't have an..anyone to love me. Please don't abandon me..like my parents.

He cried on venting forceful breaths. His fingers clasped around her ankles. His head was resting on her knees.

S : I was grown up in such a mess whe..where I couldn't differentiate between true love and false emotion. I'm so..sorry Annika. I'm very sorry.

Annika moved back letting his palms touch the cold floor. Shivaay stood up and tried to speak but his breath was erratically moving. He cried in hunched posture.

A : I don't want your sorry and you too. You want me to leave right ? Fine, I'm leaving you forever.

Annika wiped her face and walked towards the door. He was shocked to react but nevertheless he pulled her back. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders to cage her into his embracement.

A : Leave! Leave me!

S : I won't.

He tightened the hold while Annika struggled to break. She blubbered keeping her hands off him. She screeched, piercing a sharp pain into his ear but he didn't bothered. The pain in her self is too much to handle than the physical.

A : AAAAHHH !!! AARGH !!!!

She shrieked, eyes manifesting unspent tears. She hugged him back, nuzzling her face into his neck crook. His skin could felt the undying pain in her quivering lips and muffling sobs. He stroked her spine to reduce her ache. She calmed down or precisely knackered, falling onto his body. He safe guarded her on the bed, removed the sticking tendrils from her face.

Their faces were red due to continuous crying. Shivaay pulled her into him and whimpered against her neck. She could feel his pitched sighs but she was tired. Her clutch on his back was firm.

* * * *

Annika face scrunched feeling some blaze on her face. She rubbed her eyes and sat on the bed to see him arranging things on the dressing table. She looked around, the room was developed completely betraying the last night, and her act of mass of destruction.

S : Good Morning.

He wished with an enchanting smile, which she throughly missed. She silently watched him. As he sat on the bed, infront of her, her left hand automatically caressed his right cheek. Shivaay closed his eyes feeling her touch.

S : I'm alright. I'll prepare your favourite breakfast today. Co—

A : Don't try to woo me. I don't want to fall for you again, because you're a confused aathma. None can decide your behaviour.

S : I promise I won't—

A : No please! Don't promise when you only know on how to break them. You're a liar and betrayer.

Annika withdrew her hand and looked aside. He felt bad with her words but he know she must be cursing herself for letting out such words. Love is grief, after all.

S : I—

A : I really don't wish to see you now. Just leave me alone, for sometime.

S : I won't disturb you, Annika.

A : Stop your buttering. For god sake, you're now way more annoying than earlier. I wish you were just a nightmare in my life. Che!

Annika threw the sheet over his lap and walked towards the bathroom. She gulped, controlling her sobs, sliding down the closed door. A lone tear fell from Shivaay's eye. Oftentimes, we have no idea what our words can cause unless we traveled the path. It's unbearably bad.

She always cuts off while he tried talk with her. She became more like a solid soul, but he knew that's just a facade, just a pretence. She's afraid to trust him. She tormented him with words and attitude but she never came forward to insult him, never. He's the luckiest to have a partner in life whom can be a shield to protect you and an enigma to love you.

It's been two weeks, not everything, but she's not hard on him anymore. She stops and listens to his talk. Sometimes, she's responding with words and blinks and nods which meant for him the cost of life.

Today, Shivaay came back from office, and walked inside the room. She was flipping a magazine, with an aimless pout. He softly smiled, sitting beside her on the velvet couch.

He noticed her closely, she was in her designer tricolour, parakeet green, white and black Saree, totally matching with his black and white stripes shirt and black coat with pant. He licked his lower lip and placed his left hand on her lap.

S : Annika...

She gently pushed away his hand.

A : Hmm..

S : I want to take you somewhere, please don't refuse.

Annika tilted her gaze on him. He was looking into her eyes with a pleading face and little out-warding pout. He muttered please while playing with the long thread, connected with her blouse.

A : Okay.

S : Come, let's go.

A :But where ?

S : Please trust me.

Annika nodded  and walked with him. His left hand tried to hold her hand, but she didn't allowed it. They reached outside the Mansion.

S : Altaf, get the car. We're moving now.

A : Al..Altaf you ?

Al : Haan Ma'am. Sir appointed me as his personal driver. How are you Madam ?

A : I'm all good. But—

S : You're asking too many questions, dear. Altaf please get the car now.

All the way, Shivaay was admiring his wife who was on a non-stop chatter with Altaf.

A : What's this place ? Wait are you going to propose me or what ?

S : What made you think so ?

She opened closed her mouth seeing the smug grin on his face.

A : I just—

S : It's not for that, we're here for something else. And yeah about the proposal, the preparation is going on.

Annika looked away. Shivaay smiled and cupped her face.

S : I'll fulfil the longing with so much of love. And this is just a beginning.

A : What's this place ?

S : Close your eyes.

Shivaay turned her around and placed his both hands on shoulder. He gently pushed her forward leading the way.

S : Open your eyes.

Annika slowly opened her eyes, and instantly her eyes glistened seeing the sight.

Happy Amalgamation
Wedding Planner : Annika Trivedi

A : This ?

S : A marriage gift for my beautiful wife from her husband.

Annika kept staring.

S : I'm very sorry Annika, I've hurt you so many times. I know my sorry is not gonna mend my actions. But I really want to have a future with you, just you and me. It will be hard for you, but please don't leave me. I'll give my best to make you happier. Please Annika.

A : I trust you. Please don't break me again.

Shivaay turned her around and hugged her, closer. Annika slowly hugged him back.

S : Did you like my gift ?

A : Hmm but there's a mistake.

S :  What ?

A : It should be Annika Shivaay Singh Oberoi. It's a mistake, right ?

Shivaay smiled as it feels priceless when she took his name behind her name.

S : I'll correct it. I'll make everything right, Annika. Everything.

They smiled, one of the most beautiful smile. He placed his hands on the side of her face, just he dreamt of doing for five years. Shivaay kissed on Annika's forehead, the kiss was tender, gratitude, assurance, and with so much of love.

The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what's done, we can learn from it and change so that every new moment in future will be spent not in guilt, regret, fear, anger but in wisdom of understanding and undying love.

The end.

~

Gratitude, Love Comrade