as i mentioned in the previous chapter, this chapter has heavy implications of abuse, sexual harassment, and violence, as well as other very mature topics. if any of these make you feel uncomfortable, please skip this chapter and dm so i can provide you with a summary of the chapter, excluding all the mature portions. 

as always, i'm always here for you if you need to talk and i love you!

"serena, can we please not do this right now?" suho says through gritted teeth, eyes darting around nervously at the other nct 127 boys, who have by now, come out of the kitchen. yasmine stares him down, moving to stand in front of sooyoung.

"don't fucking talk to her like that, you son of a bitch. do you know what you did to her? do you know what you forced her to do to herself?" jeno snarls, bursting forward. he's barely constrained by the combined efforts of jaehyun, jaemin, and jisoo. sooyoung does nothing to stop him.

"you have got to calm down jeno. i didn't do anything to her. she's probably lying to you, whatever she said. i treated her like a princess," suho says, confidence wavering the longer jeno and yasmine were looking at them with sheer poison in their eyes.

"she didn't fucking tell me anything, you piece of shit. she didn't tell me anything because she was trying so hard to protect your sorry ass!" jeno explodes, pushing forward once more. jaemin pushes him backwards, jisoo holding onto her boyfriend's midriff tightly.

"then you know i didn't do anything to her! she didn't say anything, so how do you i even did anything? i treated her so well, didn't i serena?" sooyoung doesn't say anything. her mind is racing, and all of a sudden she's fifteen years old again.

she's fifteen years old, sitting in her bedroom in chicago, staring at her phone. she had just gotten a new one for her birthday, on the account that she had gotten accepted into a prestigious summer camp hosted by notre dame university for writing. but even with a new phone, nothing had changed.

she was still getting harassed by suho kim, a boy who was a year older than her, his old messages filling up the screen of her new phone. he was still threatening to blackmail her with her nudes. and she was still his girlfriend.

nothing changed. not even with a new phone. 

she's sixteen years old, screaming and crying because she had just found out that her mother had terminal cancer. her brother had stopped talking to her when he found out she was still dating suho. but jeno didn't understand suho like she did! otherwise, why would he be here, in her bedroom, holding her tight to his chest and whispering that he would take all the pain away for her?

nothing changed. not even with a new love.

she's almost seventeen years old, and bruises bloom across her skin, right underneath the hemline of her shirt, where no one would ever see them. she didn't know who to tell or what to do. suho was the son of a conglomerate. he could easily make it seem as if he had hurt her out of self-defense. he could easily plaster her nudes on the school walls and make it seem as if she was abusing him. not that he was abusing her. 

but then, something changed. 

she could go to korea. she could start a new life. she could escape from suho. she could stop pretending as if she had to be so strong so that people wouldn't suspect anything

she knew she would lose her basketball opportunities. she knew she was leaving for her mother. she knew that jeno didn't want to see her. she knew she was going to lose everything. 

but she wouldn't have to cry herself to sleep every night. she wouldn't have to suffer through beatings from someone who was supposed to love her and protect her. suho wouldn't be able to hurt her anymore. 

so she took the leap. she came to korea. 

and suho came right behind her. 

she's seventeen years old, surrounded by people who love her and would do anything for her. so she raises the head suho forced down two years ago.

"you fucking asshole. you blackmailed me with private pictures i trusted you with, you beat me almost every other day, you gaslighted me into turning on my brother, my best friend in the entire world, and you were the fucking reason my ex-boyfriend, hyunjin, never believed me when i told him i didn't cheat on him with you. i still have his pictures on my desk. i don't have yours. i ran all the way to korea to get away from you, you son of a bitch. how dare you imply that you never hurt me." sooyoung's eyes are red with fury and in that moment, jeno has never felt the urge to violently beat up someone in his entire life. mina is sobbing and jaehyun's hands are balled into fists.

sooyoung crumples to the ground, dissolving into tears.

"you ruined me, you dick. you made me feel like i was living through hell every single day of my life. i almost lost my will to live because of you. and just when i thought i was finally going to be able to move on - just when i thought i had escaped you for good, you come back to haunt me." she cannot continue speaking, allowing jaemin to embrace her, his eyes trained on suho, a murderous glint in his eyes.

"is this...true, suho?" an angelic looking man asks, his arms crossed across his chest. suho panics, shaking his head furiously.

"no! of course it isn't, dongyoung! my dad's the owner of sm; i would've never even crossed circles with her! i mean we dated for a couple years but it wasn't serious!" suho protests, looking at them, practically begging for morsels of belief.

yasmine stands up from where she had her arms wrapped around sooyoung and jaemin and walks forward, every step sounding a threat.

"i am a cop, suho. we have a psychologist, a cop, a doctor, and multiple of your bosses here. you are a newly elected regional manager. your shares are literally ten times lower than any one of us. i don't fucking care who your father is. the girl you allegedly abused is the sister of one of the seven shareholders of the nct dream franchise. and beyond any of that, the girl you allegedly abused is a girl who you ripped the ambitions and dreams away from. i suggest you start telling the truth, suho," yasmine says, practically in his face when she finishes. suho flinches, pulling at the collar of his dress shirt.

"okay, yeah, so maybe i was a little rough with her. maybe i slapped her around a little but. so what? she was the one who sent me the nudes and hyunjin was the one who broke up with her! she was the one who stopped talking to her brother. she was the one who never told anyone anything. funny how she only says what happens when she's surrounded by people isn't it? isn't she trying to get attention?" it's almost as if a switch as gone off, the moment suho says this. his eyes grow cold and he doesn't look as if he was trying to get anyone to believe him anymore, leveling sooyoung with a cold stare. she flinches into jaemin's embrace and it takes every single ounce of self-control jaemin has not to pummel him into the ground right then and there.

"and besides, whether you like it or not, my dad's the owner of sm. i can get out of this scotch free, according to the statute of limitations and oh, i don't know, my father's money. you can kick me out of nct 127, but it'll be bad press for you. my dad will turn it into something that you guys did; human relations, management, everything will turn against you," suho says casually, looking at his nails before looking at the other people in the room.

"you little - " jeno starts, but taeil puts a hand on his chest, closing his eyes to steady himself when he feels the t-shirt is soaked with jisoo's tears.

"no. we can't hurt you. unfortunately, because of the fact that we are now in international waters and the fact that technically, what happened cannot be surely classified as abuse or domestic abuse," dongyoung begins, trying his absolute hardest to not break down at the sound of his best friend's sisters soft sobs and pleas to take her away from there. "but i will have you know that everything you just said has been recorded and will be sent straight to your father. i suspect that we will have to do very little to have you withdraw from nct enterprises and sm altogether."

and that's where suho makes a mistake. he slips, showing that dongyoung had caught onto the one thing that suho was powerless against: his father. because as much as his father was the source of his strength, he was also the reason why suho could land in hot water. he sighs, looking down for a moment, before looking back up, a dark, all-consuming look of hate swimming in his eyes.

"so, how do i make this disappear? how much do i pay you to keep your mouths shut?" suho says cockily, one arm encircling the chair next to him. 

"that's fucking it. get me out of here before i fucking murder him," jeno says, cold fury inlaced like poison in his voice. jisoo takes one look at sooyoung before gathering jaemin, sooyoung, and jeno and walking out the doors of nct 127.

"i need you to stay right here for both of them, you hear me? i've gotta deal with something," jisoo says to jaemin. he has never seen her with such a dangerous expression with her. he just nods, not quite sure what else to do.

"listen up, you little shit. these people are nice. no matter what jeno threatens, he will not actually kill you. these people will send you to jail and deal with things the proper way," jisoo begins. haechan is suddenly reminded of the fact that none of the dreamies wanted jeno to date jisoo at first. she looks like an assassin. like harley fucking quinn.

"i don't deal with things the right way, sweetheart. before i met jeno and sooyoung, i was a bad fucking kid. i smoked, went to parties every other day, fucked the first boy i saw, all the things your mother would cry about. i was a bad kid. you are not the first entitled prick i've ever seen and you're not the last one. hell, i dated someone like you. a bitch named youngmi. i know what i'm dealing with," she says, stepping closer. it's almost as if the entire room is holding their breath when jisoo leans down, lifting her leg to place her foot dangerously close to his face, resting it on the table.

"now, either you take it their way out," jisoo says, leaning close into suho's face. he gulps.

"or you take mine. mine is the fun one."

"i think i love you," jaemin blurts out. jeno looks at him with bloodshot eyes, so red he could practically see the anger radiating off of him in waves.

"you what?" he says in a dangerously low voice. sooyoung looks at him with a mix of emotions on her face.

"i know, i know. but i don't want to date you. i can't at first it was because jeno's your brother and i didn't want to do anything to jeopardize our friendship. and then it was because i didn't want anything to happen to the relationship between you and him. and now, i just can't date you because you've been through so much. you've been hurt so much and i cannot add another burden onto you. jeno, you can punch me, kill me, i don't care. i just...couldn't hold it in."

jeno grows quiet at that.

"i couldn't hold in the fact that i think i love you, sooyoung. to me, you are the most beautiful girl on the planet. i know you love melon bars and that you hate vanilla ice cream. i know that you. love mushrooms and olives on your pizza because you hate meat. i know that you could whoop my ass in basketball any day of the week. i know you love jisoo because she kinda took the place of your mom. i know jeno is the most important person to you in the world. i know you're worried about your dad's drinking. i know you love the dreamies. and now i know you hate it when jeno calls jisoo 'princess' because that monster called you princess."

sooyoung can't hold back her tears anymore, burying her face into jaemin's chest. he holds her close, and for the first time in two years, sooyoung feels safe in a man's arms besides her brother and her father.

"jeno, i'm really sorry. i tried to keep quiet, tried to pretend that what i was feeling wasn't true, but i just couldn't. i couldn't because i knew i could treat her so much better than he ever could. i couldn't because i knew that you hated anyone even coming close to your sister, much less develop feelings for her." at this point, all three of them are crying, not sure when life had gotten so fucking complicated.

"i knew, you know. jisoo tried to keep it from me, she even threatened haechan to keep his mouth shut, but i knew the entire time. you look at her the same way i look at jisoo. jisoo saved my life. and as much i wanna bury you alive, i can't help but hope that maybe you can help my baby sister too," jeno says through hiccups, wiping furiously at his eyes.

"sooyoung? what do you think, honey? i don't wanna force anything on you," jaemin says softly, wiping away her tears with the pads of his thumbs. sooyoung looks up at him with watery eyes and a runny nose, and even now, jaemin can't help but wonder why she was so beautiful.

"i need time, jaemin. i don't know how i feel about you besides the fact that you make me feel safe. i don't wanna say i don't like you, because i know that wouldn't be true. but you have the literal worst fucking timing, you know that?" sooyoung says with a watery laugh. jaemin smiles and nods through his tears. 

"i know, honey, i know," he says, pressing his forehead against hers. sooyoung closes her eyes and finally, finally allows herself to be truthful.

"i never thought i'd ever feel safe with any boy besides my brother, ever again. i feel safe with you, jaemin. i don't know if i love you. i don't know if i'd be a good girlfriend. sooyoung, lee sooyoung, laughs loudly, trusts too easily, and basketball is her entire life. she's been hurt before, a lot, and she'll flinch away from you sometimes. she'll cry and scream and get nightmares of being hurt again and just never let go of you. can...can you love her too?"

jeno exchanges a look with jaemin. love her.

"i will."

+++

a/n: holy shit. what a chapter. tbqfh once more, this is my favorite chapter. it gives them humanity. sooyoung didn't speak up. suho's a fucking asshole. jeno's overly protective of his sister. jisoo's not such a perfect soft sweet girlfriend. jaemin's got ass timing. 

but that's life isn't it? we revert into our old selves to protect our new identities. and maybe sooyoung will have nightmares and will have days where she flinches away from jaemin and remember the horrors that suho inflicted on her. 

but jaemin will hold her close. jeno will kiss her forehead. jisoo will never give into the urge. suho will never be able to hurt her again. 

the reason why i wanted this to happen in seoul/chicago rather than incheon is because sooyoung refers to america as 'home' many times in the previous chapters. even when she talks about moving back to america, she says "moving back home". i want her (and everyone else who has ever been in this situation before) to know that someplace where you feel unsafe, and hurt, is not home. wherever you feel safe is always home.

as always, i am here for you if you need me to be here and i love you so much.