she wasn't supposed to be here. she had run away from america to escape the horrors of what she had been through. but now she was back. to fucking talk about the horrors that she had experienced. 

everything prior to her arrival to america was a blur, with only strong memories standing out in the three weeks she had moved to america in.

she remembers how when jaemin had approached her about coming to america, sooyoung had cried. she had screamed and cried and wailed and protested. 

"if you loved me, you wouldn't make me go back. you wouldn't make me leave you," she had said. jaemin had turned his face away so that she wouldn't see the tears welling up in his eyes, composing himself enough to say with an impassive face, "if you loved me, you would go."

she had turned to jeno, who wasn't even bothering to pretend as if he weren't crying. jeno had just apologized, over and over again, for not being able to protect her. the sobs wracked through his body, and in that moment, sooyoung caught a glimpse of the scared little seven year old boy who had sent her to america in the first place. he was just doing what he thought was right. 

that's all he ever wanted. 

she didn't bother asking her father for permission, only asking him to sign the documents necessary to pull her out of school and allow her to go with shaun and her stepfather back to america. sooyoung couldn't even recognize her father anymore. dark circles and permanently hungover speech seemed to be the only thing left of her father. after what had happened at the ramen shop, she could barely look him in the eyes, much less treat him as a father. 

at this point, jisoo and jeno felt more like parents to her than coach lee did. beautiful jisoo, who coach lee had cursed out and swore at for days even after the ramen shop before jeno had gotten into a huge fight with him, had packed her bags with her. she had hugged her tightly when jaemin told her that they should go on a break until sooyoung came back to korea. if she ever came back to korea. jisoo was the one who had gone to seoul to bring back jaehyun, yasmine, and mina, all of whom promised to keep in touch and take care of her brother and her father until she came back. if she came back. 

and jisoo was the one who had pressed a kiss to her forehead, eyes swollen from crying, at the airport, before sooyoung, shaun, and her stepfather had had to go through security. jaemin didn't come to see her off. 

he couldn't. now that she thinks about, sooyoung realizes that if he had come to airport, she doesn't think that she could've gotten on the plane. she would've been too consumed by the realization of what exactly she was leaving behind and jaemin wouldn't have been able to let go of what he loved so dearly.

jeno had been at the airport. jeno had arranged everything, just like a father should. he coordinated with her stepfather. he had driven them to the airport. he had hugged her tightly, promising her that jaemin, jisoo, him, their father, and the rest of the dreamies would be waiting and looking forward to the day she came back. if she came back. 

her father didn't come to see her off.

"and then you came here, didn't you, serena. park, was it?" the therapist, isabella tran, says soothingly, writing down something in her clipboard. sooyoung's eyes flare, and for the first time in the six months isabella has been sooyoung's therapist, she sees a hint of the huntress - something sooyoung hadn't become in a very, very long time. 

as a therapist, there was no way she couldn't become at least somewhat enraptured in her patients' stories, this particular story being the one she was the most captivated by - not even on a scientific standpoint, but a moral one. so when she sees the first glimpse of the huntress, something isabella had only seen when she had seen on youtube clips of sooyoung on the court, she can't help the grin which flashes onto her face. sooyoung notices the little slip-up, whether it was intentional or not, deciding to play along anyway. after all, what was the fun in being the huntress without a little chase?

"it's lee serena. and you can call me sooyoung."

he wasn't supposed to be here. coach lee was exactly that - coach lee. a strong man who appreciated the little things in life. he wasn't an alcoholic. he didn't have depression. and definitely didn't fucking regret anything. 

he didn't regret anything. why should he? his wife was the one who left him. his wife was the one who had betrayed him. his wife was the one who had broken his heart. it wasn't the other way around.

so he had more drinks than he should sometimes! what about it? it wasn't like he was out of control. he always knew what he was doing. he wasn't out of control. he could handle everything on his own. that's what jeno and him had been doing for years - why should it be any different now?

you know what? it all really started to change when sooyoung came into the home. that's when everything started getting messed up. it was probably her fault that everything turned out the way it did. hyunjoo kim, the therapist coach lee had been working with for a little over two weeks, raises his eyebrows at that, resting his pad of notes on the desk, face down so that coach lee couldn't see anything written on it.

"you're telling me you're blaming your alcoholism, the death of your ex-wife, and the environment you and your son had been living in on your daughter? your seventeen year old daughter who had come back from america to make amends about a decision she had made at the age of six before she was forced to go back because of trauma she chose to not to disclose with you because she didn't trust you?" hyunjoo says, his eyes trailing down the legal pad as he tries to wrap his head around coach lee's statement.

hyunjoo's seen many things in his career, with the most common being the parents who didn't even believe that there was anything wrong with their child or that their child needed any help. this was the first time he was seeing a parent who believed they were completely fine while their children were left to pick up the pieces. 

he's heard of it - it's textbook trauma - but this is the first time he's seeing it in person.

coach lee lets what hyunjoo had summarized sink in before nodding firmly.

"exactly," he says. hyunjoo clears his throat, a little bit afraid of what he was about to ask, looking coach lee straight in the eyes.

"why did you curse out jisoo like that in the ramen shop? and for days after the incident, even though jeno had expressed discomfort at your actions," hyunjoo asks carefully. coach lee leans back in his chair, processing the question, tugging at the sleeves of his leather jacket.

"because...because she's a terrible girl! i didn't want my son to stay around a girl like that," coach lee says vehemently, a crazed look in his eyes, as if he was willing to do anything to get hyunjoo to believe him. hyunjoo hesitates, wondering if he should deescalate the situation. it wasn't likely that coach lee would physically harm him but at this point, everything was up in the air. but for the sake of closure (his or coach lee's, he wasn't sure), he asks anyway.

"are you sure there isn't any other reason? perhaps that she reminds you of your ex-wife?" coach lee looks as if he's going to explode at hyunjoo before pausing, taken aback by the therapist's question. they sit in silence as coach lee wrestles with himself, knowing what the right answer was, but having a hard to actually word it because of his self-pride.

"perhaps - perhaps that's true. she did remind me of my ex-wife - in the least creepy way possible. she just...she just did everything just like her. jisoo's a good kid; i know that. but having her in the house, always with jeno...it kind of reminded me of...it kind of reminded me of how we used to me. jisoo did a lot more for than sooyoung than i ever did. maybe that was a part of it too." coach lee is in tears by the end, hyunjoo looking the other direction, pretending he hadn't seen anything, for the sake of coach lee's dignity.

"you're extremely brave for doing this, coach lee. no matter what," hyunjoo says finally, once coach lee's composed himself. 

the tears don't stop flowing after that.

he wasn't supposed to be here. he had the csat, next semester classes, basketball season, jisoo, jaemin, sooyoung, the dreamies, and the dream café to worry about. he didn't have time to be sitting here. 

"when jisoo told me about you, when she was booking these appointments, you know what i immediately wrote down in my notepad, jeno?" hyunjoo asks, getting out of the chair on the other side of the desk to sit across from jeno, who was seated on one of the loveseats, on a standalone chair.

"what, dr. kim?" jeno asks, hoping that he would be able to get out of this sooner if he could just answer all of the therapist's questions. hyunjoo notices this, purposefully taking a pause before he spoke again.

"atlas, jeno. i wrote down that you were atlas. you're a smart kid. i know you know atlas, the man who holds the weight of the world on his shoulders. you worry too much about others, jeno," hyunjoo says, resting his elbows on his knees and leaning forward. jeno refrains from rolling his eyes, pushing the fringe of his hair out of his face.

"i know, dr. kim. trust me, i know. jisoo says that all of the time. but i've got no choice. isn't this what every student has to go through to survive in today's world?" jeno says sullenly, the fight leaving his body. in the two weeks hyunjoo had learned about the lee family, putting together the pieces of the puzzle, he had come to realize that these people held a lot of love for each other. 

coach lee for his ex-wife. jeno for sooyoung. sooyoung for jeno. jisoo for jeno and sooyoung. jaemin for jeno and sooyoung. all of them were involved in some way or another because of the love they held for each other. 

"you just mentioned all of your burdens, right? let's go through them one at a time," hyunjoo begins, standing up to grab his legal pad to sit back down on the chair across from jeno. in the split second that hyunjoo flashes the paper to jeno, jeno is able to make out the word 'atlas' written in bright red letters. that must've been the name of his case. the atlas case. catchy.

"how about we start with jisoo? she seems like a pivotal person in all four of your lives," hyunjoo continues, looking up at jeno to see if he had caught what the therapist was implying. of course, he had.

"jisoo is not a burden to me. she is important to our lives though," jeno says, his temper flaring up protectively. "she was in our grade, so we all kinda knew her for a while, even though we never really talked to her."

"she ran completely different circles from us; she was a different kid than she is now. but then she started messing around with jaemin. i think that's when she started changing. she quit smoking and fucking around - excuse my language - and started to get more serious. she was there for us more than anyone else was when my mom died. well, anyone besides each other and jaemin," jeno adds on as an afterthought. hyunjoo nods along thoughtfully.

"and when you say 'each other', you mean sooyoung, right?" hyunjoo clarifies. jeno gives him an affirmative nod absentmindedly, still thinking of the memories of how jisoo had first entered their lives.

"if i'm being honest, jisoo kinda took the place of our mom and i took the place of my dad for sooyoung. my dad didn't take the passing of our mom very well at all. jisoo did a lot to try and get us all get better," jeno muses. 

"she seems to be very important to you, jeno."

"i know this sounds stupid coming from an eighteen year old, but if i was even one or two years older, i would marry her. i know she's the one."

"how?"

"love, sir. love. the love she gave not just me, but to the people i love."

+++

a/n: here we are loves! a glimpse into therapy and the return of the huntress. all i can say (because again, i suck with promises) is that the next few chapters will be emotional. 

have a great day today and stream hot sauce!