It is always easier said than done.

It's like sitting on the beach, waves washing over your feet, and everything is fine, nice actually.

Then the waves pick up but instead of getting up and taking a step back, you are washed out to the middle. The waves keep coming bigger and bigger and you know that if you can just hold on for one second more, one more wave, that the waves will let up eventually and that the shore is just right there.

But the waves keep coming and you get tired and you can barely stay afloat any longer. Floating is getting harder, and they pull you down like a sinking ship.

It's overwhelming and takes over your senses, and if you take a second to breathe water will take over and pull you under.

But now that you are under it is nice and calming. You have time to think in the stillness, it's a nice break from the chaos above. and the sensation of falling has never seemed more welcoming, it is more like flying.

And now you have the time to breathe.

but you still can't. As you remember what it is like to breathe, you are given a choice.

The chaos above pushes and pulling you in every direction,

or

the everlasting still and calm.

people say it's an easy choice, that above you can keep going, and the waves will calm down. But they are standing on the beach. And when you were standing on the beach just seconds ago, you too thought it was an easy choice.

You have heard stories of the water, and the mark it leaves on people. You think "I could take it" but now that you are here,  you could never be farther from ok.

All the stories you have read, all the stories told to you, sitting safely on the beach you think that "it can't be that hard". But the stories are all true, and you may think that you have experienced it, but you were just in a kiddie pool.

How wrong you were.

It is tiring to stay afloat, and you get num really quickly. Num to the cold, nub to the world, numb to everything except the thing in your head, telling ayou to fight, to survive.

But you still need to answer the ever-looming question of "have you had enough?"

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Song Suggestion:
The DJ is Crying for Help by AJR

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This one I wrote to try and put words on my stress and overall anxiety.

After I wrote it, I realized how similar it was to Silco's drowning monologue in arcane (you should go watch it). I promise all similarities are an accident, and I didn't on purpose copy it.

I'm actually really proud of this one, and hopefully you guys like it too!

Have a beautiful day, and do something that makes you smile today.

-I