Sometimes I call myself
from your phone
just to hear that stupid ringtone we made
and your voice once more.
I speak to you in my head
and in my dreams
praying that you'll answer
my cries;
see the oceans
I've shed for you
and come home.

It's been such a while
been missing your smile;
still haven't found mine
since it ran away
on that damned day
God reclaimed you.

He had his reasons,
I'm sure
but in this state I
cannot see them
no matter how hard
I try.
I sometimes ask for
Him to explain them
but either He doesn't hear or
doesn't want to.

Your spirit still haunts me
stealing my sleep and
placing a shadow
over my world.
One that refuses to move
no matter where the sun goes.
The sun I always
thought would stop shining
with your eyes.

I was wrong.

I never knew just
how much you protected me
until I didn't have your umbrella
above me.

Now I stand exposed
the water pooling at my feet.
It amasses around me
fuelled by the salt
that never ceases
to pour from my eyes.

I tried screaming
for help. Praying for
a rescue boat.
But either no one can
hear me or
they choose to
ignore
my pleas.
Instead I
Drown.

Your absence is
a gaping hole
from beneath me
that has me
vulnerable

and leaves my

broken pieces

to their fate of

f
   a
           l

                l
                      i
                              n

                                    g

without
your hand to hold.

I miss you.