Focusing on the
thumping of my heart.
Head aching, can't
see through this blur.
Unable to walk in a
straight line
everything hurting
all the time.
Never seems to end
on this twisting-turning road
dark clouds above and ahead
can't see where it goes.

A break-through of light
is just a
trick of the eyes,
it can't be real.
And in that fleeting
second of doubt
the clouds have
gathered back around
shutting out the sun's
shine. No warmth falling
on my face once again.
And I'm to blame

for this unscalable pit
I am stuck in.
Should've sat outside each day,
done more exercise
and chased the worries away,
eaten regularly, healthily.
Not shut out the world
in the way I did.

But goddamn, I tried
my hardest.
Guess my best was
just not enough.

If my beating heart
ceased it's rhythms
I wonder who
would actually care?
Not me, certainly,
but for my regrets
of actions and
unspoken apologies.

Should we find out?