June: fear of mirrors aka Spectrophobia

I never really liked my appearance anyway. There was nothing I could do to fix what was staring straight back at me.

The summer I turned thirteen is when my loathing started turning into a terror. My mother had gained a huge dose of depression when my father left after admitting he had an affair. She began drinking almost every second of the day, and her once accepting and sweet nature had drained out of her, replaced by criticism and hatred.

Every once in awhile my grandmother came over to check on us. She gave me confidence to persevere until the angel of death took her. And I was left with my mother.

My mom would look in the mirror, despising what she had become, but in her mind it was too late to turn back. So instead she turned on me saying, "June! Why are you soo fat!? And look at your face! You're just soo gosh darn ugly. How can you bare to look at yourself!?"

The more she said these things throughout the years, the more I believed them, and when I looked in the mirror, I wasn't just self conscious anymore. I was despicable. I couldn't stand that hideous face before me.

Once old enough I tried to give myself a makeover. Flinching at my reflection, I applied concealer, lipstick, eyeshadow, eyeliner, blush, mascara, fake eye lashes. Then I put on the skimpy outfit I had bought. Straightening and curling my hair up, I was actually kind of proud.

But when I showed my mom, she said I was a whore and no amount of money and makeup or surgery could fix me.

Looking in the mirror once more, I broke down, realizing she was right. I have no hope in being pretty, cute, beautiful, sexy. I'm just a wannabe disgusting self conscious monster.

Every time I look in the mirror, I not only see my terrible self, I also see my mother, yelling at me, telling me how truly ugly I am... That's why I smashed them all then threw them out. I don't care about that seven years of bad luck crap. I was born cursed. Once I dropped out of high school, I locked myself in my room, rarely comming out, for I don't want anyone to have to endure this face of mine.

A/n
I'm sorry. That was terribly depressing. I hope none of you feel this way at all. It's the inner beauty that counts the most. Everyone is cute in their own special way, I swear to you <3