This was it. This was it. I was going to meet my end today. I decided this as I huddled on top of a toilet in the school bathroom, my knees to my chest and head down, tears streaming down my face. My head hurt and the tears weren't stopping. I head the bell ring, calling students to class. But I ignored it. I stayed where I was till a second bell rang. Class was started. I left the stall, my stuff still on the floor. I wouldn't need it where I was going. I went to leave, but paused for the one thing I would need. What I would need to explain myself.

I tore open my backpack and grabbed a notebook. It had a metal ring on the front and back that were bonded together by a small lock to keep the book from being opened. I pocketed the key and then ran, ignoring teachers that roamed the halls. I dashed out the closet exit. I ran for what felt like forever. When I stoped, I was only half way home. I looked behind me. No one had managed to follow. Good.

I eventually arrived home. I had managed to stop crying, but my head still aches and my eyes felt somehow dry. I walked swiftly to my dad's room. I bent under the bed and pulled out a metal tin. I threw the latches and pulled out the gun. It was just a pistol, but it would get the job done right. Now it was up to me.
I walked upstairs to my room, tears prickling my eyes again.

'Don't cry. This is what you want. This will take the pain away. The suffering will end' I told myself.

I grabbed a book from my bookshelf, one I haven't read in years. I open to the middle page and pull out five notes. One to my mom, one to my dad, two to my friends and one to my boyfriend. I knew it was unfair. I knew it. But I didn't care about being selfish anymore. I didn't care about anything. Nothing mattered anyways.

I later the letters on my desk one by one, the names on the back facing up. As I look at each of them, more tears fell.

Mom and Dad. The two people who raised me. This want their fault. It was mine. Kaylie, Julie and Chase, my friends since the grade 8. I had known them all for just over three years. And I was about to leave them forever. Finally, the last name. Aiden. The boy I had fallen in love with and had been dating for months.

"I'm so sorry" I choked out verbally. I fell to my knees, sobbing again.

I was scared. Scared. What happens after death? Angry. Angry. The world made me feel this way. I was depressed. Depressed. I was leaving my friends, family, leaving it all. I felt confused. Everything was now blurry and everything hurt, internally and externally.

I forced myself up. I weakly walked over to my bed. I laid down, my head on the pillow. It was shame really. The blue shades were so pretty. And I was about to ruin them with a bright red. I lifted the gun to rest next to my head, in my hand. I let out one last shaky breath.

"Goodbye" I whispered. I didn't even hear the noise— the bullet moving faster than that, ending it all in less than a second.