When you try your best but you don't succeed

I tried overcoming this. This feeling. These thoughts. But I failed. I didn't overcome them.

When you get what you want but not what you need

I have everything a girl could want. A nice family, I nice house, a room to herself, a dog, friends.
But in truth, that's not what I need right now

When you feel so tired but you can't sleep

I try to sleep. I close my eyes and lay there, but I can't sleep. Despite how drained I feel.

Stuck in reverse

My mind replays past events no matter how I beg them to stop.

When the tears come streaming down your face

I couldn't stop the tears

'Cause you lose something you can't replace

I lost a lot. My happiness. My will. My self esteem. My intelligence has dropped too.

When you love someone but it goes to waste

I do try to love myself. Love the world. But nothing loves me back. And I don't make a difference. So why bother?

What could it be worse?

But it could be worse, right? People tell me that. "Think of the kids starving in Africa that have no fresh water and are starving."
I try to. I try to think of them. But it always makes me feel worse.

Lights will guide you home

I watch my phone screen, reflecting the emotions of the people on screen. I laugh with them. I cry with them. But the moment the screen is off, I'm empty once again.

And ignite your bones

It hurts inside. It truly does.

And I will try to fix you

No one will try to help me. I'm too broken.

But high up above or down below

I have my happy times. It's just rare. Most of the time I spend at a low, each fall worse than the previous.

When you are too in love to let it show

I want to die sometimes. A lot actually. Though I care too much to let other people know. I've hurt people in the past doing so. I don't want to repeat that.

Oh but if you never try you'll never know

They say "you never know until you try".
I try to believe them. But doubt is an ever lingering cloud that blocks out any hope.

Just what you're worth

I'm worth nothing. I'm useless and talentless and stupid.

Lights will guide you home

I watch my phone screen, reflecting the emotions of the people on screen. I laugh with them. I cry with them. But the moment the screen is off, I'm empty once again.

And ignite your bones

It hurts inside. It truly does.

And I will try to fix you

No one will try to help me. I'm too far gone.

Tears come streaming down your face

I can't stop the tears. They come and they keep coming

When you lose something you cannot replace

I've lost myself. I've lost the path I was taking. And I can't find my way back. I'm lost. Completely and utterly lost.

oh and tears come streaming down your face

I'm pointless. No one is coming to help me. To save me.

And I

I hear something. My name? I get up. I start running.

Tears streaming down your face

Tears still fall down my face, but ones of hope and joy

I promise you I will learn from all my mistakes

I see them ahead. My friends, my family. And they're apologizing. Asking for me to come back. Saying they love me.

oh and the tears streaming down your face

I push myself, falling into my best friend

And I

I find myself face first in the ground. I'm confused as I look around. They were just here!

Lights will guide you home

I look up. I see a light. It's a firefly. It buzzes in the air with its friends.

And ignite your bones

I'm tired now. Empty as well. I sit against a tree and bring my knees to my chest. I wrap my arms around my legs and rest my head on my knees, though I'm still confused. And I'm still lost. And I still don't know who am.

And I will try to fix you

No one is coming. Guess I'm not worth it. Who can blame them though? Who would want a broken toy? Humans are meant to feel emotion. I feel nothing.

I look up at the stars, lifting my head to rest it against the tree trunk. My eyes slowly start to drift close.

I'm lost. I'm tired. I'm hungry. I'm alone. I'm numb. I'm inhuman. But hey, at least I can sleep for once.

790 without the a/n. Do y'all want me to start keeping a word count at the end of each chapter? Even if I don't have anything to say, just leave the number done at the bottom? Vote or comment to let me know, please and thank you!