She stared at herself in the mirror. At her body. Her gaze was blank, distant, glazed like glass. She was not analyzing her body. She simply stared, lost to the storm cloud that was in her head, blurring her vision, scrambling her thoughts and keeping her from feeling anything.

The lights in the room were off, but it was okay. She could still see. The sun shone in the frosted  glass window, though not directly, give the room a blue lighting. Normally this light would be relaxing. But in this moment, it was just light. Nothing special.

She loosely picked up her hair brush and a lighter, and set both down by the candles she had next to the bathtub. She steppe dover the edge of the tub and sat down in it and turned on the hot water. She watched with another blank gaze as the steam rose all around her, beginning to already blind her. She could feel her skin starting to sting where the hot water touched it. She turned on some cold water, but only enough to prevent damage to her skin.

She then sunk down, letting her shoulders fall below the edge of the bathtub. She waited for the water to reach the rim before she reached and turned it off. Then she laid there, her body submerged in the water, and the steam still surrounding her in the air.

How long she laid there, she did no know. Her sense of time was gone. Her sense of sight. Her sense of feeling. Any senses of anything had left her. She sat up, though she didn't tell her body to do so.

Here she was. An empty shell. Her hair dripping down her back and shoulders. The water was now cold. And the sun had set, leaving her in water in the darkness. And she had not eaten or had anything to drink or talked to anyone for days, it felt like.

She reached for her lighter, and picked it up. She opened the lid and sparked it a couple times before the flame lit. The light suddenly allowed her to see much of the room, her eyes already adjusted to the dark now given light to see. But still it felt as if she did not see anything.

Anything besides the flame in her hands. She watched it as if she were to take her eyes off of it, it would disappear. After sitting there for some time, her arms balanced on her legs to keep the lighter just above the water, she lifted the lighter up towards the candle.

She stopped and stared at it for a second. Before she held her arm above the flame. She lowered her arm until the flame almost jumped onto her arm. She shoved her arm in the water. She didn't know what the sensation was. Or why she had done that. All she knew was that it was something.

So she lifted her arm out of the water.
And did it again.