What is this feeling?

Its like blood wants to leak from my skin

I want to it so badly

But causalities exist to prevent me from sweet bliss

When i see red, I feel safe

Otherwise the pain accelerates

If it streams down like a river

I feel  calmer and calmer

I wish I can be happy again

But it slowly goes away

And I slowly paste a mask onto my face

Of Happiness, Joy and Laughter

While i feel depressed, upset and hear the screams louder saying

"Come to me!"

"Release your pain!"

It's a sliver tool who is willing to be my saviour

But alas it is difficult to accept his offer

To be free and let go,

Not to be shackled in grief and sorrow

So many tools call out to me 

But I ignore them so others won't grieve

It's weird that others tell you not to do certain things

When you tell them not to do the same

It upsets me that they don't hear these sweet voices

Because they would understand that they are trying to save me

{<3}