Two Deranged Uncles Hopping to the Beat

A Short Story
by Kai Fai

Jace Dunez looked at the cursed gun in his hands and felt cross.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his derelict surroundings. He had always loved derelict Dura Robu with its lazy, large lakes. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel cross.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Grace Dunez. Grace was a modest friend with grubby feet and tall arms.

Jace gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a tight-fisted, giving, tea drinker with handsome feet and scrawny arms. His friends saw him as a gentle, grotesque god. Once, he had even helped a dark kitten cross the road.

But not even a tight-fisted person who had once helped a dark kitten cross the road, was prepared for what Grace had in store today.

The rain hammered like dancing rats, making Jace delighted.

As Jace stepped outside and Grace came closer, he could see the round glint in his eye.

"I am here because I want equality," Grace bellowed, in a down to earth tone. He slammed his fist against Jace's chest, with the force of 2266 badgers. "I frigging love you, Jace Dunez."

Jace looked back, even more delighted and still fingering the cursed gun. "Grace, oh my God they killed Eli," he replied.

They looked at each other with healthy feelings, like two frantic, fat frogs laughing at a very understanding funeral, which had jazz music playing in the background and two deranged uncles hopping to the beat.

Suddenly, Grace lunged forward and tried to punch Jace in the face. Quickly, Jace grabbed the cursed gun and brought it down on Grace's skull.

Grace's grubby feet trembled and his tall arms wobbled. He looked irritable, his body raw like a tense, tight teapot.

Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Grace Dunez was dead.

Jace Dunez went back inside and made himself a nice cup of tea.

THE END