Any time it says 'witch', it's supposed to say 'bitch'

Popular Zoey Shanghai
A Short Story
by Kai Fai
Zoey Shanghai looked at the minuscule hawk in her hands and felt happy.

She walked over to the window and reflected on her old-fashioned surroundings. She had always loved dirty Human Kingdom with its melodic, moaning mountains. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel happy.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Nora Cavel. Nora was a predatory witch with greasy toenails and ample thighs.

Zoey gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a popular, snooty, brandy drinker with red toenails and brunette thighs. Her friends saw her as a wet, wonky witch. Once, she had even jumped into a river and saved a worried blind person.

But not even a popular person who had once jumped into a river and saved a worried blind person, was prepared for what Nora had in store today.

The hail pounded like gyrating puppies, making Zoey surprised.

As Zoey stepped outside and Nora came closer, she could see the delicious glint in her eye.

"I am here because I want death," Nora bellowed, in a sympathetic tone. She slammed her fist against Zoey's chest, with the force of 8497 blue bottles. "I frigging hate you, Zoey Shanghai."

Zoey looked back, even more surprised and still fingering the minuscule hawk. "Nora, I hate you," she replied.

They looked at each other with stressed feelings, like two combative, cloudy cats talking at a very witty Revival, which had classical music playing in the background and two intuitive uncles drinking to the beat.

Suddenly, Nora lunged forward and tried to punch Zoey in the face. Quickly, Zoey grabbed the minuscule hawk and brought it down on Nora's skull.

Nora's greasy toenails trembled and her ample thighs wobbled. She looked sad, her body raw like a gentle, giant gun.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Nora Cavel was dead.

Zoey Shanghai went back inside and made herself a nice glass of brandy.

THE END