It's funny and ironic that I gave this story this title with the term "demon" because I personally believe that Lucifer's actions were always a result of his continuous attempts to stop his father from creating a new species called human. His heart never wanted to share his father's love with the humans. As a child who never knew a real father's love since my father was and is busy loving the child of his extramarital affair and providing that family with everything and anything they need gave me the opportunity to connect with Lucifer.

I don't want to share my father's love with anybody. But I never had the chance to know his love for me. And it hurts. It hurts a lot. Even if I say I'm okay with forcing my father out of my life, I always wished that things were different. I hate him because he ruined twenty years of my life as well as my mother's. I hate him more because he is still managing to ruin our lives.

We hoped that one day he would love us and be a good father and a husband to us. And I think twenty years was a pretty good time period for him to change. Now I feel anxious, stressed, sometimes depressed, scared and uncertain. The only thing I'm happy about is that we have peace now. My mom and I don't have to be scared of his drunken self or his normal self. He is not here to ruin each and every happy moment in our life.

God sending Lucifer to hell was not what something he deserved. No child should be put in such circumstances. Every child deserves the best. What kind of fathers are out there who doesn't love their children. God created those monstrous father figures. And they are the real devils.

I always wondered why people say that the fate of a child from middle class is to get whatever job available as soon as possible. Why don't they have the chance to find the job of their desire? Why don't they have the opportunity to get higher education? Why are they denied the years they require to prepare themselves to be their best selves? But now I understand why. Even if I have the opportunity to get myself a master's degree I can't think of that dream of mine with all the things going around me.

I can't let my mom work, stress and drown in debt to just provide me two years of education. The thought of a home for our own, and having not to worry about the money for our basic needs seems more important to me than my Master's degree. I am going insane with all these thoughts of having not enough money to have a proper life for a month if an unexpected expense comes.

And I'm mad at God for giving the wrong people all the peace, money and whatever they desire, while the ones who really deserves those things go insane with all the worries and they die everyday in the inside. Some people might say that God will let us have all the peace and happiness in the end. But what is the point of having these things at the time of our near end and not during the time when we actually needed the help. It's like offering someone some help after they have been rescued.

God might not be able to help all the people but God certainly can hold back from helping the bad people. Why does this have to be the life of the majority? Why are some people immensely rich while the others starve? I'm ashamed of myself for not having a job by now to support my mother. And I'm ashamed of not being able to fight my demons and get some peace of mind.

I'm strong, yet tired. I'm trying my best to push forward my life and I don't know when will I stop trying and let my depression take control over me. If that's the only way I'm getting some peace, so be it.