I swiftly barged away from my family in the living room, slamming my door shut and locking it. I flopped down onto my bed, starting to cry even though i had rage burning in my chest. I roughly swiped up on my phone to unlock it, basically slamming the shuffle button on spotify as I let the music blare in my ears through my earbuds.

I started to sob, trying to keep myself together, although it was difficult. Thoughts started to circle in my head, bad thoughts. Really bad thoughts. I imagined my body hanging off the ground, in a pool of blood, pills on the side... Many bad thoughts I don't encourage doing.... Although with my fucked up mind, it forced me to imagine it. What.... death.... would be like.

It would help me, but then it wouldn't..... It would end my pain, but it would destroy everyone else... Maybe that thought is what keeps me going, I don't even know or care at this point. My thoughts were interrupted by loud banging on my door, which I shouted "LEAVE ME ALONE!" I heard my mom's voice, consoling my sister who I had shouted at through my door. I couldn't care.

I felt like I was loosing emotions, I was slowly becoming nothing but a husk that.... needed to be let go... and let the noose around their soul finally end them.... I shook my head, falling onto my back and closing my eyes. A few more tears fell from my face, before I passed out, upset and exhausted...