Surprises are good. Some just makes us happy and some just leaves us breathless. What I wanted to do now was run to Ragini and reveal how has our destiny played. But I stopped my steps just near the door which opened to our garden.

Is it the way I want her to know? Definitely not. And what am I actually gonna say. Number of thoughts and my hand dropped dead. “Okay Sanky I got to disconnect the call now” Ragini spoke over the phone looking at me and disconnected the call.

She gave me a weak smile while entering the house. And I had no words.

I needed more courage.

****.****

It has been a month that I keep avoiding revealing Ms. May be Shanaya that I know her name is Ragini. She called me at a very unusual time today.

“Hello” I said excited. “Hey Sanky” her voice was shaky. I could feel it. “Are you okay Ra..”  I stopped myself. “Rapenzul” I sighed as I was again saved from uttering her name. Her real name.

Isn't it complicated. She is the one who hid her identity and it makes me nervous while revealing the same identity.

“You called me at a very odd time today. Everything is fine?” I asked and heard her sharp breath. Was she crying. Hopefully not.

“Um hm. I thought I don't have a time limit to talk to you” she said and I smiled. “Of course you don't” I said calmly. She chuckled lightly.

“Why is that I can't stop talking to you?” she asked innocently. “Um that is for you to know” I said and this time she laughed.

“I'm sorry Sanky” she started crying and it surely made me restless. “Why are you crying and why sorry?” I asked her not able to breath.

“I never told you my identity. But you will know tomorrow” she said and I was confused. “You can tell me now” I said and she laughed.

“I wish I had the courage. I wish I had the courage to do all what I want to do” she said sadly. “Shanaya. Are you alright? Please tell me you are not upto something stupid. Tell me you are okay” I said and my voice started cracking.

“I was never this happy Sanky. I was never trust me. I will be happy from now” she said and confused me more. “I want to see you now” I insisted.

“You will see me tomorrow Sanky. I promise you” she said and I closed my eyes annoyed.

“You know what is the best thing about my life?” she asked and I opened my painful eyes. “What?” I asked. “You” she said and my heart beat stopped.

“I don't know. I never wanted to fall in love. Because I have seen all the bad examples of love. Now it is making me feel guilty that I fell in love with you” she spoke in a shaky voice.

I closed my eyes letting those tears out. “I...” “Shhhh” she stopped me from talking. “Please listen to me this time please” she pleaded.

“Um hm” I said her to continue.

“I shouldn't have loved you. I shouldn't because I can't be with you. I can't” she said and my heart felt someone stabbed it too hard.

“Where are you going?” I asked worried. “Somewhere this all will not hurt me. I wont have the pain of  loneliness. I will not have to run from every little emotion” she spoke and I gulped the sore lump.

“Please Ragini don't leave me” that was what I could speak. I did not hear a response from the other side for a long time.

“Are you there?” I asked worried.

“You... you know my name?” she fumbled and I pressed my lower lip to control the pain.

“I came to know recently when you visited my home in Manhattan” I confessed and she took a moment to understand what I said.

“You are.. you are” she again fumbled. “Yes I was the one about whom you dreamed of kissing” I chuckled a bit.

“I swear I will not let you stay alone ever” I said controlling the pain in my throat.

“It's too late” she whispered.

And in next second the call got disconnected. And my heart jumped to the pit of my stomach. I dialed her number but it did not got connected. “No...no....” I screamed the hell out of me.

“Sanky” Venessa came running to me. “What happened?” she asked worried and I narrated her what happened. “You have her any friends number?” asked she.

I nodded my head then suddenly remembered she had called me from another number just few days back. I wiped my face and searched that number and immediately dialed it.

“Hello. John here” the voice from the other side spoke and I got a bit of peace. “Hello.. hello... are you Ragini's friend?” I asked him and he paused for a second.

“Yup who is this?” he asked confused. “I...I am her friend. She just called me few minutes back and her cell phone got disconnected. Can you please check if she is okay? I'm in New York currently and it will take a lot of time to reach Manhattan” while I said all that my hands were shivering.

“Um. But she is in New York currently. It's her birthday so she visits her parent at this time of the year” he said and I collapsed on the floor.

How did I forget that and why she had to come here. The place which makes her only sad.

“Can you please give me her address. I promise I just want to check if she is okay” I said worried. “Sure” he said and in a moment I received the address.

I ran to the parking and placed my hand over the car. I did not know what was I going to do. Venessa placed her hand on my shoulder.

“You have to hurry up” she said and I wiped my face. I drove the car to the address.

***.***

“Ragini....” I heard his voice. It was Sanskar. But it looked like he was far away. My vision was also blur. And I felt his touch. It was as warm as his friendship. Why on earth I have to meet this person and then leave him like this broken.

I always knew I will not be in this world for a very long time given my depression. I have attempted to commit suicide from an age of 12 years but somehow survived but today I want to survive for a strange reason.

But I know I wont. My vision was blurring still and my breath was feeling heavy. I had jumped from the 20th floor and had no chance of life again. My skull was hurting and what I wanted right now was just the end of this painful life.

****.****

“Hey” I heard his voice again today. This man is crazy. Doesn't he get fed up of my silence? “You know today Sheena is getting engaged to guess who?” he chuckled.

“To jerk John” he laughed. “I know I know. I should not call your friend a jerk but as Sheena says he is actually a jerk Rapenzul” he kissed my hand.

“Sanky” I heard the doctor's voice. She is Venessa. As per the conversation I have been hearing from past five years I understood that she is Sanskar's best friend.

“How many days are you gonna waste like this?” she asked a genuine question.

“A little more than forever” he said and I could feel his smile when he said. I can feel and hear everything but I cannot react. The beep of the machine attached to me made me realize I am in coma and may be I will never wake up.

But I will love this man for a little more than forever.

My parent never cared about my feelings and I could not wipe the tears of a person whom I loved. May be that is what I deserved when I thought of ending my life and going away from him. May be I deserved this hung life where I'm neither dying nor living.

But loving him.