Shreck fanfic requested by sigh100
Im sorry if this is bad i haven't written anything in a long time, im also sorry this took so long and is so short.

Queef: vagina fat ( air gets in it and, u know)
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    The full moon drifted over Shreks head lighting up the forest surrounding him. He sighed heavily and layed back in the grass. Shrek, Fiona and her parents went on a camping trip to 'bond'. Everyone's favorite ogre agreed to sleep outside, since the tent was to small. A chilling breeze swept over him dragging his thin blanket with it. Shrek growled angrily his situation, he was upset because it was cold, or he had a thin blanket, he was mad over the air. The air quality was to fresh, to different not a single familar stench of punani or ass anywhere. Shrek sniffed the air and caught a whiff of flowers, he tried not to gag as he made his way into the tent. He could care less about the space at this point, at least in the tent there was some kind of smells. From drool, snoring, and the occasional fart. Shrek was shocked to see someone still awake Queen Lillian sat in the tent with her nose in an thick book.

     She smiled up at Shrek creating a wifi network on her forhead, and patted the empty spot next to her. Shrek smiled back nervously, bugs slithered between the gaps in his teeth, and a faint onion smell filled the tent.

     Shrek sat where her hand once was and laid down, his back facing Lillian who had abandoned her book to sleep. Twenty minutes later Shrek was still wide awake, the lack of familiar smells kept him alert, it was torture. He was tired but couldn't sleep, deciding a small toot would be enough to help him sleep he tried to let out a small one. It barley slipped past his greasy checks before a vibration rippled through Shreks backside, followed by a welcoming stench of rotten eggs and rotten fish.

"Good Lord Lillian!"  Shrek jumped, the unexpected ass explosion scared him.

Fiona and Harold scrunched their faces and rolled away from Shrek and Lilian.

"I've  been saving that for you," Lillian smirked, still laying down.

"Farted right into my butthole, like a fart transplant." Shrek giggled and farted on Lillian, a little bit louder and more onion in it.

Queen Lillian sniffed the air, "Was that a raw onion I smell? Oh I didn't known this was a competition." She queefed instead and the smell of dead rotting bodies at the ocean floor mixed with the smell of rotten eggs. It was enough help lull Shrek to a deep sleep but he pushed the envelope farther sending a passive but stinky fart Lillians way. Lillian responded with a explosiven wet fart mixed with the scent of excrement. The smell was so powerful Shrek passed out right there.

Something cool and mushy on his back woke Shrek up from his deep sleep. He yawned and stretched, sitting up and scratching his back bring his hand to his face and sniffing it. Not rendering what was happening he whiped his hand on his face and settled to go back to sleep. Shreks eyes  widened with realization, he screamed loudly waking up everyone in the forest.

Queen Lillian shat on him.