12.10.2018
>>Type: Sad/Fluff/Rejection<< 1646 words >>

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
Silent. Yet loud at the same time.

Tears stream down my cheeks.
The mirror shattered, showing me different angles of my reflection. It wasn't a pretty sight.

My phone rang loudly, interrupting my moment.
I scrambled for it, my sight blurry from past tears.
The dialer made me frown.

Not her.
Why would she want to talk to me now?
After all this silence?

The ringing was continuous.
I let out a silent whisper, "N-no... s-stop...leave me alone-e!"
But it came out like a strangled sound.

I threw my once-appreciated-phone against the grim walls. It didn't break, but stopped the continuous ringing.
I sigh in relief.
Silence once again. The way it has been for the past few weeks.

Wiping my cheeks with my sleeve, I sniffed in a much needed breath of air. I need to breath. I need to relax.

But it won't leave me alone.

My mind flashed back to the earlier morning. To the past few days. No, weeks.
Months even.

~~

It was a simple day. Normal. School was scheduled for 8:30am. English period. The only thing different about this certain class, was that she was in it.
Her.
That no-good, poor excuse of a friend. Or was it I?

She laughed and nudged me, "This class is so dumb!" She giggled.
Little did she know, that simple nudge made butterflies burst in my stomach.
"Y-Yeah.." I answer in a weak response.
"Let's say we 'escape', eh?" She smirked.
I swallowed a quick intake of air, "l-I need this. I can't skip." I say as firmly as my voice could let me.
"Oh well. See ya aroun'!" She got up and excused her self for the bathroom, not returning. As I expected.

Fifteen minutes passed and I couldn't take any longer.
"Sir, I need the bathroom too.." I say quietly to the teacher, pleading him to grant me access.
"Sure, return with that friend of yours." The teacher said, not taking much interest in me, turning back to his class.
With a quick nod of gratitude, I slipped out of the class.

You're probably wondering why I followed that poor excuse of a friend, aren't you?
Simple.
I'm blind.
Not literally, but mentally.
She was using me. And I was too mooned over that I didn't notice.

The blood rushed to my head as I felt alarms going off in my head. This was wrong. I'm skipping class for her, but I have to be sure that she's safe.
She's my everything. Not everyone makes me feel light headed.
Not everyone makes me blush at a simple chuckle or laugh.
Or makes me giggle or show any of my own colors.
As you probably guessed by now, I'm introverted. I'm shy.

That's why she's so special.
She gave me, (the introvert), a chance to shine. For me, that's amazing.
I'm forever in debt to her for such a thing.
I'm a love struck puppy that needs a lead.
The lost child that needs a bright light to guide the way.

Cheesy as it sounds, she's my only friend.

It wasn't always like this, I did have other friends. Previously.
Then I met her.
One look at her, and I knew there wouldn't be 'other friends'. She had my full attention, at all times.

She's either in the library or sports hall.
One check in the sports hall, (it was closest), she wasn't there.

I start to panic, my feet traveled faster against the hard marble floor of the school premises.
Could she be hurt?
The simple thought of her gone made a lump grow in my throat.
In the library, shelves of unread books lined up in front of me. I hurriedly made a quick check in each row, then it happened.
My heart stopped.
The sight of her made me smile like the idiot I am.
She was reading, laughing to herself.
This made me blush again, stupid uncontrollable feelings.
She's oblivious to my growing crush on her.

She doesn't feel the same way. I feel it. I know it.
One simple reason.

    1.    Who would have a crush on a weirdo like me?

She smirked when she saw me and beckoned me to come over.
I must look so stupid. Blushing and smiling like a retard.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I hesitantly walked over.
She wasn't reading, she was on her phone, huh.
"I knew you'd follow me. I'm just that special! Ain't that right?"
This made me blush more, "Y-Yeah..whatever..."
"There's a party tonight at Noras'. You're coming, right?" She asked, her eyes were bright and pleading.
God damnit. I don't normally do parties, and she knows that. But I can never say no to her.
"Yep. I'll be there."
"Sweet!"

The party was way wilder than I expected. I gulped slightly as she dragged me in after her, happy and smiling.
The only things illuminating the house were colored lights. Different shapes of all sorts spiraling across the roof and floor.
Where there were lights, there were people. Most of the people there were my age, 17. She pulled me onto the dance floor.
We danced like there was no tomorrow.
At approximately 10:30pm she got a bit tired of dancing and took me to the drinks.
There was juice, water and soft drinks. The thing that made me feel uneasy was the fact that there were a few drunk kids about. Which obviously meant there was alcohol around.
I shivered.
She elbowed me in the ribs, "Oi! What ya wanna drink?"
"Coke please.." I answered, rubbing the spot she elbowed. Ouch.
"You're so boring, man."
"Oh well.."
She came back with my coke. She had her own drink.
She held up her glass, "Cheers."
"Cheers." I held my glass up.
And with that we simultaneously drank our drinks.
The party continued as normal. A few kids were starting to get drunk and that only made matters worse.
This is when things started going down hill, fast.

After drinking three quarters of my glass, I noticed the weird new taste that wasn't in the usual Coke I had. It made me feel...weird.
The disco lights seemed to be stretching out of my reach and the sounds of the music pounding out of the speakers started fading.
I pulled her from the dance floor, "Did you spike my drink?"
"Maybe.."
"Dude! Why would you do that?" I felt a bit queasy at the fact that I consumed a glass of alcohol.
"You needed to loosen up, it's a party after all." She responded, seemingly happy with her decision.
"H-how could you?" I asked, "I trust-"
"-you want some more?" She interrupted me.
"Yes." That was the alcohol speaking, not me.
She gladly got me more.
I chugged it.
She laughed.
I giggled and hiccuped a bit too, "I have something really important-t to tell you!"
She nodded and pulled me aside.
I didn't know what I was doing, it just...happened.
"Y-you...look so-o hot!" And with that I kissed her.
I pinned her to the wall and made sure she couldn't escape. She squirmed and squealed against me and shoved me down onto the floor.
This caused everyone in the room to stare.

I groaned in pain at the shove.
"W-why?"
"No! Dude! I don't like you..that way!" She spat at me.
I winced at the harsh words, "W-what? I've loved you for so long...I've wanted you for so long...after drinking that stuff, I feel like I'm capable of telling y-you how I feel."
"Listen. I don't feel the same. Whatever your feelings are." She said icily, seemingly disgusted.
This stung me everywhere. My heart mostly.
"Why? Why do you hate me so much?" I started to regain my memory, blocking out the alcohol.
"I don't hate you...I'm..I'm-"
The people in the room started recording.
This didn't help my rising temper.
"You're what?! Spit it out!" I snapped.
"I'm les!" She hissed through tears.
The kids around gasped, some of them laughed.
With that she ran, crying.

I ran after her, feeling bad for my outburst. The class will never let her live this down. I had to fix this.
I grabbed her wrist.
She stopped and spun around to face me. Her eyes red and cheeks were tear stained.
"Let me fix thi-"
"No! You've caused enough damage! You're always following me! Are you my shadow? No, I didn't think so. Leave me the frick alone!" She sniffed as more tears came, "I don't want to see you or hear you! You are a weirdo who pretended to be my friend."

I felt tears prick in my own eyes, but no words formed into my mind. I wanted to hug her. I wanted to hush her pain and tell her over and over that I'm sorry.
But I was frozen.

When I didn't respond, she left into the chilled night.

~~

I haven't spoken since, there wasn't much I could say. I felt broken.
I knew it.
I knew if I confessed, nothing good would come out of it.
I felt like a sick person.
I need to apologize, but how? She doesn't want to see or hear about me.
She's been doing a good job at pretending I don't exist. It's been a week of silence.
A whole week.
She moved on, she had new friends.
May I add, a new girlfriend too.
My heart has never been so cold. I wanted to see her smile again. Her laugh.
But it was silent.
And silent it remains.

A/n: Btw, I completely support gays and lesbians. I only wanted to touch with it in this story. Sorry if I may have offended anyone.