September 12th

Dear Diary,

I'm in love with Simon Marcus. He is the very meaning of the word "perfect". He looked my way today in class and smiled. I smiled back but had to look away because I was blushing too much. I'm so awkward. And I know we could never be together. Why? Because there is no way he would ever like a screw-up like me. 

September 18th

Dear Diary,

Simon helped me with a math problem today. I wish I wasn't so in love with him. I wish I could stop getting lost in his eyes.

I wish he wasn't straight.

-Taylor

October 2nd

Dear Diary,

Simon told me I had nice eyes today. But there's still no way he would ever like me. He has a girlfriend.

October 6th

Dear Diary,

Simon told me I make him feel strange. I feel awful now. I cut my wrists because it hurts so much.

October 24th

Simon broke up with his girlfriend today. They had a big fight. Simon told me it was because of me. Great. He probably hates me now.

October 31st

Simon hasn't talked to me for an entire week. I'm lonely. Oh and also, happy birthday Frank Iero of My Chemical Romance! 

November 8th

He still hasn't talked to me. I hate myself. I made more cuts today. Deeper cuts. I have to wear long sleeves to hide them.

November 27th

He talked to me today. He said he wanted to be my friend. That's all we will ever be, and I'd be lying if I said I was okay with that.

December 12th

Simon found my cuts. He cried. Over me. He asked me never to do it again. I told him I wouldn't, but I don't know if I can keep that promise.

December 15th

I came out to Simon as gay today. I thought he would hate me, but he didn't. He congratulated me for being so brave. He said he was completely fine with it. But he was acting weird. He's probably gonna tell everyone. I don't wanna lose him.

December 25th

Simon told me to meet him at our favourite tree today. He said he wanted to give me my Christmas present. I brought his present with me and gave it to him. He seemed really jittery when he opened it. I thought he hated it. After he opened it, he said it was time for him to give me my present. And then he kissed me. He asked me to be his boyfriend and I said yes.

January 4th

I came out to my mother today. She said I was no son of hers. And then she kicked my "faggot ass" out of the house.

January 6th

Simon found me laying on a street bench and invited me to live at his house. His mother and father aren't homophobic. They are very nice to me. They only had a few rules: no unsupervised drinking, no going to parties without Simon, no drugs, help out with chores, and no "doing it". I'm not sure what that means, but I'm okay as long as I have a roof over my head, food to eat, and my beautiful boyfriend with me.

January 17th

School started awhile back. Nobody has been giving us trouble for being gay, in fact, we are the school's "power couple". 

January 21st

Some guys beat Simon up really bad for being gay today. They didn't even go to our school. We didn't know them.

January 25th

Simon has been having some pains in his chest and stomach.

February 6th

Simon passed out today. We took him to the hospital. The doctor said he has internal bleeding. I'm very relieved. 'Cause that's where the blood is supposed to be, right?

February 7th

It's not where the blood is supposed to be.

February 28th

He is hurting. All the time. It hurts me to see him like this. He feels better when I kiss him, though. 

March 15th

The doctors said they can't fix him. He has been in a coma for the past week.

March 18th

He woke up today. I kissed him and told him I love him. He said it back.

March 22nd

I'm really sad. This is the five-year anniversary of My Chemical Romance's breakup.

March 30th

He said that just in case he doesn't make it, he loves me and goodbye. But I know he is going to make it. I told him he will make it through.

April 3rd

He died.